Im With You
by MewRaven94
Summary: Her father died years ago and now with her mother remarried her family has seemed to move on, but without her. Can an invisible girl be healed my a violin playing stray boy she met in a park? And can love develop or will it be snatched away by tragedy?
1. Prologue

**AN:**This is my second story. Its Shugo Chara instead of Naruto now~ I had the idea of this story back in like the 8th grade and my friend finally persuaded me to write it so its dedicated to her. She knows who she is ;) The title is inspired from that Avril Lavigne song by the same name so check it out. Well hope you enjoy reading~

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><p><strong>Disclaimer goes for this chapter and all other to come. I DON'T OWN Shugo Chara!<strong>

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><p><strong>Im With You<strong>

_**Prologue**_

I was 8 years old when my life went farther into an abyss. In only 3 short years in my life everything had managed to fall apart so far, and the news I go that day only made it worse.

"Amu darling, come here I need to talk to you about something very important." my mother said sternly while sitting Ami on her lap. I remember being scared, not knowing what was going on or what I did this time. At that age I was always getting in trouble for something and the serious look my mother gave me as I walked into the kitchen made my suspicions worse.

"Its been awhile since your father died" she struggled to say. The pain on her face was so plainly visible. I walked over to her and held her hand. She gently smiled and continued "And you know that man im seeing Daichi from my job? Well we've decided….to….get married! Isn't that great Amu-chan?"

My mind didn't process it all to clearly at first. The look I must have gave her made her nervous since she began to stroke my hair and tell me everything was going to be alright. "Amu, you know we've been going through a tough time and he can help and…I do love him now." she said caringly. Tears began to spill from my face. I shook my head furiously releasing her hand and running away from her.

"NO!" I screamed. "You can do this to Daddy! You love him not this man! I don't want him! We don't need him! I shouted in blind fury. Ami began to cry sensing the stress and my mother began rocking her in her arms trying to calm her. "Amu please be reasonable I cant stay single forever, its not fair."

"It is fair!" I shouted crying even more. "You cant do this to Daddy! Please Mommy! Please! I don't want someone replacing him!"

"But he is so good with Ami and all those things that he has done for you just…" I cut her off mid-sentence screaming even louder. "I DON'T CARE! I didn't ask for any of that stuff! I'm happy the way we are! Our little family! I don't want it to change! Please Mommy!"

My mother lost all hope in trying to convince me and simply said "I'm marrying him and that's final Amu! Hes rich and times are hard. He can help and im accepting his help! Im not going to sit here and cry over your father anymore! Hes DEAD AMU!" she screamed crying.

In my mind my world had just fallen apart. I ran screaming and crying up the stairs. I heard my mother calling for me saying things like "Sorry" and "I didn't mean to im under a lot of stress" but none of it mattered. Through blurred vision I made my way up the stairs, tripping a few times until I made it to my room. I dove into my bed crying, hugging my pillow. It was dark in my room but the moon from outside gave me enough light to see the picture on my desk.

A picture of happier times when my father was still alive. We were at the park that day and he was holding me smiling while Mom was holding baby Ami. Tears blurred my vision once again as I cried hard into my pillow wishing that this days had never ended and knowing that no matter how hard I cried and yearned, they would never come back.

My mom did marry him after all. The wedding was bright and cheerful and everyone smiled and congratulated them. For my mothers sake I tried to put on a happy face and be a good girl. My sister was the little flower girl, all dressed in ribbons and frilly clothes. I smiled for her sake as well.

We moved into a bigger house not long after and my mother seemed happy. I tried to be happy to but that didn't last very long. Daichi loved Ami as if she were his own, but me its as if I was that old dog in the pet adoption agency that people chose puppies over. He acknowledged my existence, but never really pampered me like he did Ami.

Soon mom followed as well, giving all her attention to Ami. Its like I was watching a happy family from afar. Like I was a shadow in their happy life, so I tried to be good. No matter what I did Ami always triumphed over me. They moved my room to the attic to make a room for Ami's play room. I didn't mind though. They were always busy so I just

stayed out of the way.

It got even worse though one day.

"Mommy I want to go to the zoo! Mommy please!" Ami begged tugging on our mothers dress.

"No Ami dear I cant me and daddy have a lot of work to do. I'm sorry." she gently said.

"But you promised!" Ami screamed. I couldn't take the look of stress and worry on my mothers face any longer so I spoke up, being the older sibling that I was.

"Ami don't annoy mom she is very busy with work"

"You leave me alone!" she shouted. "Your just jealous that I get all the attention!"

At that I staggered back knocking over a cup on the table. Ami jumped and my mother snatched her away from the glass. Ami began to cry as our mother went to get a something to get the glass up with. "Amu you need to watch what your doing! Don't cry Ami I'll take you to the zoo today."

Its as if what Ami just said didn't matter and nothing I said affected them. That's when I realized I had become invisible to my once loving family. Anger and pain took its place and I ran up to my attic room in my own seclusion and cried for the last time. I knew I was somewhere I didn't fit anymore. That those happy days would never come back…

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>There is the prologue. What did you think? Suggestions? It will get better because next chapter Ikuto appears! XD Anyway leave me some reviews please and let me know what you think.

~MewRaven94


	2. Chapter 1

_**AN:**__So heres chapter 1! Thank you for all the positive reviews I've gotten, I really appreciate them. So a quick shout out to my first 4 reviewers: __amuto-robstar__, __HikuriOnichi__, __alchemistlover14__, __MewMewSugara__. Thanks a lot u guys, you really encouraged me =) Anyway, hope you enjoy chapter 1._

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><p><em><span>Chapter 1<span>_

_-8 years later-_

_It had been 8 years since she married Daichi and my life ultimately fell apart. I was 16 now and in high school, but its not like things have improved any. I had a couple of friends at my school who mainly talked to me because they felt sorry for me in my opinion. But who knew that a redirection of my anger could turn into one of the best decisions of my life and lead me to the one I grew to love over time._

It was another restless night. I didn't sleep very well, but that had become normal for me so I wasn't really surprised. I drug myself out of bed turning off my blaring alarm clock. All I could think of at the moment was having to drag myself to the bane of my existence: school.

Sunada High wasn't a bad place, I just didn't fit in to well with it. Everyone there was basically rich and happy. They spent there time like I guess most teens did, gossiping and talking about TV shows and what they did that weekend. That stuff was all a bore to me, since I usually stayed to myself and did things generally alone.

I had a few friends (I guess you can call them) that sat with me at school and surrounded me with there nuisance chatting, but I never listened to them. I usually sat with my ipod blaring trying to drown out the rest of the world. Only time I had to actually bring myself back into reality was when the teacher came in or my ipod died.

I hurried through my usual routine of getting ready for school. My room has a bathroom attached to it so I guess its like a loft room, but to me its my little attic. The only place I feel sane. I dressed in what people considered "emo". Dark colors all the time, but I felt comfortable this way and I don't plan on changing.

I put on my school uniform adding my own flare which consisted of black and white striped socks, knee high lace-up boots, a chocker color, a couple of rocker bracelets, and a X-shaped necklace and clip to my hair. My uniform was so boring to me but my flare made it bearable. I took my time down the stairs not wanting to so much as see that happy family. Its not like I existed anyway to them.

Picking up my book bag and apple I headed straight for the door, walking past Ami who was screaming about shoes and my so called parents promising to get her new ones.

"Wait!" my mother screamed. My heart did a sudden flip and my hand stopped at the door knob. "What time will you be home Daichi I think we should all go and celebrate Ami's report card!" she excitingly shouted. I don't know why I got so excited, like my mom was going to actually talk to me or say goodbye, and when they meant lets all go they meant the three of them. They didn't care if I came or not.

Throwing open the door I stomped out in a hurry slamming it as I made my way outside. I knew this was going to be a long day.

By the time I made it to school the bell had rang, but I didn't care I took detours and back streets to school on purpose to avoid people. I nonchalantly walked to my Junior class and slid open the door. My teacher stopped and looked at me along with the rest of the class. I could feel the lecture coming.

"Ms. Hinamori, late again it seems. What is your excuse this time?"

Sighing I replied "Look can we save the lecture and my excuse or whatever, just punish and I'll sit down. I don't feel like hearing you lecture me. I was late what else do you want to know."

Some kids gasped while others snickered. I just stood there impatient and annoyed since it was always the same thing with my teacher. She began writing on a referral sheet and handed it to me.

"Your not a stranger to the principle's office, so why don't you make your way there and you can listen to his lecture and punishment. That should teach you some respect for your elders" she rudely said. Sighing I took the sheet and walked back out the door. Before I made it all the way out I saw Kukai laughing and Tadase looking at me concerned.

I couldn't understand why he was always so nice to me. I know he is the Student Council President, but I didn't ask for his concern.

I sat down in the principle's office and principle Fukaido looked at me and sighed.

"Back again I see Amu. This is your 5th time this month. Cant you at least try to be good for the teachers?"

I shrugged. Not much I could say to that since it was a waste to act good. Why plaster on a smile when you aren't generally happy.

"I'll have to call your mother about this one, also you have detention today as well." he grumbled.

_Great detention…..a bigger waste of my life. _

"Go back to class and try to behave." he pleaded.

When I got back to class my teacher simply snuffed at me and told me to sit down. Rolling my eyes I went to my usual seat not bothering to look at anyone else, problem is my seat was near Tadase's and Kukai's.

Kukai leaned towards me smirking "So did you get chewed out?" he whispered.

"Leave her alone Kukai that isn't your business." Tadase whispered glaring

"Humph….whatever." he said as he sat back.

"Sorry Amu." Tadase whispered and turned back around. What did he have to be sorry for? Its not like its his fault I ended up this way. I tried to go around unnoticed at school but everyone thought I was cool for some reason. Whenever I did anything people always said "There she goes, Cool & Spicy!"

Sighing I glanced out the window, day dreaming of better times. School went by in a flash, and I skipped lunch not wanting to deal with that many questions of what happened and why. After detention I began to walk home when my mom pulled up in the car.

"Get in!" she angrily said. I could tell this was going to be a bad ride home.

"So guess what? Your principle called! What is with your attitude at school?" she yelled

Sighing I looked out the window. I knew I should have walked home.

"I came over here to get you and now me and your father…" I cut her off angrily screaming "He is not my father!"

"Regardless we are going to be late getting to our reservations at the restaurant because of you." she screamed back. By then we were home. Yanking my bag off the car floor I ran into the house.

"Amu wait!" she screamed.

"I never asked you to come get me! I can walk perfectly fine by myself so don't waste any of your time you should be devoting to Ami on me!" I screamed back. She simply glared at me and shook her head.

"How did you end up like this! I don't understand…"

"Wow big shocker! And I'm not going to that dumb restaurant, its not like I was asked to come anyway!" I screamed storming up the stairs. After slamming my door I fell to the ground. My heart was racing from adrenaline and it felt as if my blood was boiling.

I heard her talking to Daichi and Ami jumping excited.

"She's not coming. Lets not worry about it. This is Ami's special night so lets go." With that they all left the house leaving me alone. My blood still boiling I ran to my desk and picked up my usual outlet, a razor. Lifting up my sleeves I picked a spot on my right arm but couldn't bring myself to make the slash. After all, what would it solve…

I dropped the razor and ran to my window. I decided to climb down the tree and ultimately run away. They probably would never notice. I grabbed my bag, stuffed a few clothes in it and proceeded to shimmy down the tree. Then I ran. I didn't know where I was going but I just had to get away.

Gasping for air I ended up in the park where memories of a happy life remained. I looked around seeing all the familiar trees and slides until I found a bench up against the park wall. I walked towards it but jumped back when I noticed a boy sitting there.

He was beautiful. It was night and it was as if the moon shown right on him. He had bluish hair. He was wearing a jacket with fur around the hood and sleeves, and a chocker collar was clearly visible around his neck.

I walked over slowly, nervous for some reason. He had his eyes closed and was listening to music from these giant headphones around his neck. Next to his leg was a case with some instrument in it.

"Hey" I nervously began "Do you…mind if I sit there?" I asked pointing next to him . He opened his catlike eyes which were a beautiful dark blue and shrugged. "Its not my bench."

I made sure to sit as far away from him as I could.

_Why didn't I just look for another bench? Now it would be awkward if I left!_

I don't know why but I sat there staring at him little did a know with my mouth open. He glanced over at me a smirked "You know bugs will nest in your mouth if you leave it open." he snickered. He gently moved his hand over to my chin and lifted my mouth closed.

My face immediately flushed red and he laughed again.

"Are you just going to sit here harassing girls you don't know?" I said trying to sound as angry as possible.

He looked over at me and sighed "First of all you decided to sit here out of the many benches in the park AND that's not called harassing. Next time I wont close your mouth, I'll just let bugs nest." he smiled mockingly.

"Well…it's a free park and I can sit wherever I want!" I replied.

"That's true, but you did ask me if you could sit here little pink." he laughed

I could tell my face was red and I crossed my arms. I huffed and replied "Quit teasing me and my name is not little pink." Yes my hair was pink which was weird but I didn't want his teasing.

"Well what is your name?" he asked interested.

"Well what is yours?" I asked looking away.

"I asked first." he laughed. "But I'll be a gentleman and tell you. My name is Ikuto. Now what is yours?"

"…Amu."

"Amu…that's cute." At that I could feel the blood rush back to my face. "Ikuto is a nice name to I guess…" I said embarrassed.

He looked down at my bag and back up at me. "You running away?"

Yanking behind my back I screamed "No! But what if I was?"

He snickered staring at me. "No reason I just wouldn't want you to get hurt. You seem really fun."

"I can take care of myself…" I mumbled.

"I'm sure you can, just be careful." he laughed. "Well im going home." he stood and stretched. "You should too, your parents must be worried." he smiled

I laughed unconvincingly. "Sure they are….wouldn't want to worry them…"

Suddenly I felt a hand on my head "I can stay here with you for awhile and we can sleep on the bench?" he asked looking at me.

I shook my head and stood up. "No I'll be ok. Actually I will go home. I feel a lot better. I guess I just needed to get away for a moment." I smiled, and for once it was genuine.

He laughed and walked over to pick up his case. "Well, sleep tight Amu. Maybe we will meet again." he waved and walked away.

I was stuck where I stood as I watched him go away. For once I actually felt somewhat happy and to think a stray boy could do this to me. I couldn't understand it, but I grabbed my bag off the bench and walked back to my house. I climbed up the tree and through my window. After tossing my bag somewhere in my room, I collapsed on my bed.

"Ikuto…" I sighed. Why was my heart racing and why did I feel so relaxed. I was so calm and didn't care about the fight with mom or anything else. Why was a stray boy able to do this?

I felt sleepy and for once fell asleep without the usual tossing and turning. That night I dreamt of the park and someone playing music.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>Well what did you think? Did you love the Ikuto scene? I love when he teases her xD. Anyway, leave me a review and let me know what you thought and any suggestions. Ill update again soon. I update weekly but I don't want to go to fast, ya know keep you on your toes lol. Well thanks for reading =3

~MewRaven94


	3. Chapter 2

**AN: **So here is the much anticipated by some chapter 2! Thank you again to all the positive reviews =) It makes me smile to read them and know how badly people want updates lol xD Anyways, hope you enjoy!

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

I woke up to my alarm clock blaring. I had been in such a deep peaceful sleep that I didn't even want to get up to turn it off. I rolled over and began contemplating not going to school, but the last thing I wanted to do is be stuck in this house all day.

I sighed laying there thinking about my encounter last night. I wondered if that had put me at such ease and helped me be able to sleep better than I had in a long time.

_Ikuto…_

His very name sounded peaceful to me, but I didn't even know who he really was. Even more strange was why was I laying on me bed thinking about him. I most likely would never see him again so what was the point? Besides he spent most of the time teasing me, but he was worried about my well being…

I sat up shaking my head deciding to forget it and move on. It was just a waste of my time to think of someone I would never see again.

Finally dragging myself out of bed I turned off my annoying alarm clock and realized that I was actually in a pretty good mood, considering I didn't want to toss it at the wall. I knew it most likely wouldn't last long though…

I sighed realizing that I had fallen asleep in my uniform. I picked my back up one out of the closet and went through the usual routine of bathing and adding flare to a dull outfit. I looked over at the corner of the room where I had thrown my runaway bag and thought about unpacking it, but why should I bother?

Grabbing my school bag I slowly made my way down the stairs. I was hungry this morning having not eaten hardly anything yesterday. I made myself toast and cereal and sat at the table to eat as Ami walked in.

"Hey! Did you eat the last of the cereal! I wanted it!" she screamed angrily. My little sister was an annoying spoiled 11 year old brat who I usually ignored with great effort.

"You don't own all the cereal in this house Ami so shut up!" I grumbled in reply. She huffed and stomped off screaming to mom how I had eaten all the cereal. I sighed and braced myself for what whatever was coming.

"Ami, please don't scream I'll take you do get breakfast at McDonalds. I don't have time to argue with your Amu."

Wow was that all I had become was Amu? Not Ami's sister or her daughter? They both had succeeded in ruining my breakfast and I pushed away what was left of my cereal and got up to leave.

"You wanted that cereal so bad Amu, the least you can do is finish it" he shouted after me.

"I don't want it anymore let her have it." I replied as I stomped for the door.

I heard her sigh and mumble "What a wasteful child…"

Rolling my eyes I walked out of the house slamming the door on the way. I didn't want to hear my teacher fuss at me today so I actually hurried to school.

When I got there, like always there was a crowd of kids all standing around talking. They looked up when I walked through the gates and began whispering things about me like usual. Things like "Look how rebellious she dresses, its so cool!" and "Did you hear that she talked back to the teacher yesterday." It was all annoying to me.

I decided to go straight to class thinking that being on time would please my teacher and keep her from complaining, but I was wrong. When I walked through the door and to my desk she laughed and began her taunting.

"Well, well, well. Look who is on time today. Ms. Hinamori. I guess detention did some good for once." she barked.

I ignored her putting my ipod in and trying to drown out everything else. Kukai and Tasase began staring at me and I took one ear bud out. "What?" I acidly asked.

Tadase just smiled and Kukai laughed and ran to my desk. "So!" he began. "Did you get chewed out of what? You never answered me." Tadase walked over glaring at Kukai but didn't say anything. I guess he wanted to know to.

I sighed and decided to humor them. "Yea, actually I did get chewed out. But I don't care!" I shouted loud enough so the teacher could hear.

Just then Rima and Yaya walked over. Yaya bubbling and shouting "Cool & Spicy as always Amu-chan!"

I just sighed. I hated being called that. You would think most people would avoid you when you try to be alone, but it seems opposite here. It was if people were drawn to my behavior and clothes.

"Sup ladies!" Kukai shouted as they walked to my desk. They became so engrossed in their own conversation I knew I wasn't expected to say anything more, but Tadase sat in the desk beside me and stared at me.

"You okay Amu-chan? Sorry about his rude behavior. I know its got to be annoying to you."

"Its nothing. I don't care. Why are you always so nice to me anyway?" I finally asked annoyed.

"Because you seem like deep down you're a really nice person so why not be nice to you?" he said smiling.

Thankfully the bell rang and class began. They all dispersed from my desk to their own seats and the teacher began her lecture. This place was definitely the bane of my existence…

I didn't really pay attention to the rest of the day so it basically went by in a blur. My so called friends all sat with my at lunch and excitedly talked about their weekend plans and other boring things. I didn't pay any attention until Rima asked me a question.

"So Amu, who do you like at this school?"

I looked up dazed. "Huh?"

"I said who do you like?" she repeated annoyed.

"Um no one. Why?" I asked barely aware of the conversation.

"Aw that means she doesn't have a boyfriend! That's ok though! Rima is the only one who does! So what do you say? Do you want to come with us to the water park this weekend?" Yaya excitedly asked.

I quickly lied, not really wanting to go. "No im actually grounded."

They all nodded thinking that it made sense after my episode yesterday. "Maybe next time then." Tadase smiled.

The rest of the school was over quickly. I began walking home when Yaya ran up to me.

"Aw Amu I wish you could come. Tadase is the one who suggested it! But we would love for you to be there. Oh yea I think he likes you!" she giggled.

Shocked by this I actually listened to her. "What!"

She shrugged, giggling and waved goodbye to me running off to catch up to Rima. I stood in shock not knowing what to do. There was no way he could like me! She had to be wrong. I shook me head forgetting about it and started walking home.

I wasn't really in a rush to get home instead I detoured. I walked around aimlessly barely paying attention, until I heard violin music. It was so sweet and peaceful that before I realized it I was walking towards it.

It was coming from the park. The park was pretty empty except for a couple of kids playing on the swings. I looked around for the source of the sound when I saw a figure standing on the wall. It was none other than the stray boy Ikuto.

He was playing a violin on the wall with his eyes closed with such emotion. It was beautiful, but I panicked. I thought he would fall and surely hurt himself or worse.

"Get down from there! You could fall!" I shouted.

He stopped playing and opened his eyes, smirking. "Well, good afternoon Amu. I didn't think I would see you again."

"Get down! Don't you realize you could fall?" I shouted again.

He shrugged looking bored. "Your right I could fall, but also I could not fall."

"Stop being a smartass!" I shouted. "If you fall from that height you could die!"

"Your right again. I could die, but also I could not. Besides, why do you care?" he asked smirking.

I began to respond but then I thought. Why did I care?

"I don't know." I mumbled. "Just please come down."

He shrugged and hopped down and began putting his violin back in its case. He turned around to face me. "Happy?" he laughed.

Angry I walked away crossing my arms. He quickly caught up to me though.

"Why are you mad. I got down."

I didn't know why I was mad. "I don't know, but you shouldn't play with your life like that. Your not a cat!"

He laughed. "No im not a cat. And I shouldn't play with my life, and neither should you.

I stopped walking startled by his remark. "What do you mean!" I shouted.

He shrugged. "I see the cuts on your arm. I notice the small things. You shouldn't do that, you could die and your playing with your life."

I angrily replied grabbing my arm "Why does it matter to you! You don't even know me!"

He turned around to face me looking at me right in the eyes. "I could ask you the same thing? Why does it matter to you that I stand on a wall? And I don't know you, but that doesn't mean I cant get to know you unless you don't want to know me."

No words came to mind because I realized he was right. Why did it matter? It wasn't right what I was doing to myself…but I didn't know what else to do. No one else cared or noticed. Then I did something I hadn't done in a long time. I cried.

Warm tears rushed down my face and I dropped to my knees and cried. I covered my face not wanting him to see but he only lifted me up and hugged me. I burried my face into his jacket and cried.

"Thank you, for worrying about me." I sniffled out. He pulled me away and wiped my tears away with his finger. I blushed and looked down.

"Thank you for worrying about me. Now don't cry Amu. Your to cute for that." he teased.

I blushed and laughed wiping away the remaining tears. "I should get home. It will get dark soon."

He smiled and shrugged. "Okay. I hang out here everyday, so come see me sometime."

He began to walk away but my heart began to beat really fast and I shouted out the unthinkable. "Walk me home! Please!" I covered my mouth shocked at what I had asked.

He turned around and smirked. "Sure. Lead the way."

We walked out of the park and towards my house. I couldn't think of what to say and spent most of the way trying not to blush.

"You never told me you played the violin" I mumbled.

"You never asked me." he laughed. I could feel my face redden as he continued "Maybe I'll play for you sometime, if you want." he said lifting my chin to look at him. I backed away and noticed we were next to my house.

I ran into my yard and towards the tree I decided to use to sneak in. "Thank you for walking me to my house." I smiled. "Will you be in the park tomorrow?" I asked shyly.

He smirked and answered "Yes. Especially if you want me to be there." he teased.

I blushed and mumbled "Well I'll see you there then."

"It's a date then." he said smirking as he waved me goodbye. I watched walk away as my face got hotter and hotter to the realization. When I couldn't see him anymore I realized that maybe climbing up the tree wasn't smart because I could barely think straight.

I ran into the house and into the disapproving eyes of my mother. "Where have you been?" she asked sternly.

"In the park." I answered already feeling annoyed. "Why?"

She sighed. "I need you to watch Ami. I need to go back to work with your fath….I mean Daichi and handle some things."

"Isn't she old enough to watch herself?" I asked.

"I don't have time to argue with you. Bye Ami, I'll be back soon." she said as she walked out.

I looked over at Ami who glared at me. "I don't need you to watch me."

"Good! Because I have things to do. Stay down here and do whatever it is that you do!" I yelled as I ran up the stairs.

"Fine!" I heard her scream. I slammed the door and collapsed on my bed. I couldn't stop thinking of him. I was embarrassed. I mean how could I cry in front of him like that just because he worried about me!

_Ikuto…Ikuto…Ikuto…_

I wanted at that moment to be with him. He was the first person to actually care about me in a long time. I had never been so happy. I grabbed my pillow and hugged it tight smiling. I was actually so excited to see him again. But I wished at that moment it was sooner.

Then I remembered what Rima had said to me. _"Who do you like?" _

I hugged my pillow tighter.

_No! I couldn't like him! I cant! I don't even know him! I couldn't like him! Could I?_

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> So! What did you think? Does Amu like Ikuto? Does Tadase like Amu? Who is Rima's boyfriend? Will Ami stop acting like a brat? Will Amu see Ikuto sooner than their "date"? Find out next time! I've decided to update this story on Tuesdays, but reviews have a lot more power than you think so leave me a review ;) Give me any suggestions. Once again if you haven't, listen to Avril Lavignes Im with you song. Might help you understand better. Thanks for reading.

~MewRaven94


	4. Chapter 3

_**AN: **__Its Tuesday and here is the much anticipated chapter 3! Thank you so much for all the reviews! I get so happy reading them and knowing you guys like this story. Makes me excited to write it =D And yes, we all want to beat Ami lol xD Well, enjoy~_

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><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

I hadn't realized that I had fallen asleep until I heard my mom yelling for me. I was surprised she was even acknowledging my existence, but that could only mean I was in trouble for something.

"Amu! Amu! Get down here right now!" she screamed.

I sighed and yelled "I'm coming!"

I got up and threw my pillow onto my bed and proceeded to walk towards my doom. My head was still filled with thoughts of Ikuto and it was driving me crazy. I slowly made my way down the stairs and into the living room where Ami sat on the couch pouting with her arms crossed.

My mother glared at me, her mouth sporting a tight frown. I braced myself and it began.

"I tell you to do one thing Amu, and that's watch your sister while we were gone and you cant even do that. Do you realize that she hasn't eaten yet? Also she should be in bed by now!"

I felt my anger flare coming on strong. "She's old enough to take care of herself. She's not some baby! I don't need to feed her! She is old enough to cook for herself if you haven't noticed!"

"Still it was your responsibility to take care of your sister while we were gone! You weren't even watching her! What if she had of tried to cook and burned herself or worse the house down? It wasn't that hard of a request!" she shouted.

"I'm hungry mommy!" Ami whined. I had never in my life wanted to hit her more than I did now.

"How does it make you feel to know your sister is sitting here hungry?" she asked looking baffled.

"She never asked me to make her any food! After you left she even said she didn't need me to watch her and now it's all on me because she wants to whine?"

I was furious at this point and to make things worse Daichi jumped in.

"Still regardless of what Ami said you should have been watching her like your mother said. Plus you shouldn't talk to your mother that way."

"Don't tell me what to do! Your NOT my father! And you NEVER will be!" There was so much anger directed at him. In a way I blamed him for everything. For the reason my life went downhill and I had become invisible.

"Don't talk to daddy like that!" Ami shouted.

I gave her such an intense glare that she sat back looking scared. "You shut up! He isn't even your real father!"

"Amu that is enough!" my mother screamed. "I don't even know who you are anymore!"

"Wow, really! Surprising considering you guys give me SO much attention!" I laid on the sarcasm heavily making sure every word stung.

"I've had enough Amu. Your grounded! Your not to leave your room and you are to come home immediately!" she shouted angrily.

At first I didn't care and I shrugged, then I remembered my date I had planned with Ikuto. I wanted so badly to see him tomorrow and hadn't been this eager in a long time only to have it taken away.

"Wait no! I-I-Im sorry! I made plans to…" but she interrupted me.

"To bad! Cancel them! Maybe next time you will listen to me and watch your rude behavior!"

My heart sunk as if it had just plunged miles into the ocean. All my excitement slashed away. I hadn't felt this disappointed in a long time. I stood there silently as I felt the anger rush back into me.

"Go to your room." my mother said sighing. She turned away from me and walked towards the kitchen asking Ami what she wanted to eat. Ami jumped up off the couch and excitedly ran towards her, but not before sticking her tongue out at me. Daichi had his eyes closed and shook his head at me before walking to join them in the kitchen.

I watched in silence and awe. The setting was perfect. They were all gathered in the kitchen looking like a perfect family as I stood like a shadow watching. I didn't belong…

I took of running full speed up the stairs and threw my door open. I slammed it hard once I was in but I knew no one would care or notice. With such anger and rage flooding me I ran to my usual outlet pulling up my sleeve. As I picked a spot Ikuto's words came into my head.

"_You shouldn't do that"_

I threw the razor on the floor and fell to my knees. I needed to see him now and would try no matter what it took. I had to!

I ran to my window and opened it, and proceeded to shimmy down the tree. Then…I ran. I ran so hard and fast to the park in the middle of the night with the moon and a couple of street lamps as my only light.

I watched cars drive past me as I panted for air but I kept running. I finally made it to the park and ran to the bench only to be disappointed. He wasn't there…

I looked around hysterically and even looked on the wall, but he was no where to be seen. I stood there completely frozen until my legs suddenly gave out and I fell to my knees. Warm tears rushed down my face and no one was there to make it better.

I sat there crying alone on my knees. I yearned for him. I felt as though if I could see him it would all disappear and I wouldn't think about it all. That's how he made me feel, as though the other things didn't matter. I was actually happy and felt normal when I was with him.

I didn't even know who he was, but I wanted him! My heart ached for him as I sat there crying all alone.

_I…love…him._

No!

_Admit it! _

I finally stood up wiping away the tears. I didn't want to sit there alone and cry. I wanted him to show up and take me away. Anywhere. Somewhere new.

I looked around at the slides and swings remembering a better time. I could see my dad pushing me on the swings. I could see him catching me at the bottom of the slide. I could see me chasing him around the park as we laughed while my mother sat on the bench closer to the swings holding Ami and smiling. It all disappeared as I ran back to my house in a daze.

I didn't realize where I stood until I looked around and noticed that I was in my room, all alone. I collapsed on my bed and fell asleep.

* * *

><p>I woke up to my alarm and looked around disoriented as I took in my surroundings. I slept so unmercifully. I still felt exhausted as I turned the alarm off and prepared for school. I hurriedly ran out of the house without even looking at my so called family.<p>

I walked to school on my usual route without the detours. I didn't want to hear the complaining of my teacher. In a rather rebellious manner while I walked I decided that I was going to see Ikuto no matter what they said. After school I was going to walk to the park and make our date.

The thought of it made my heart beat and I felt a rush of nervousness and excitement at the thought of seeing him. I needed to feel sane again and I knew only he could make me feel that way.

Had I really fallen in love with someone I barely knew?

My parents did give me a cell phone at least, out of some generosity and I flipped it out to check the time. I realized I was early, something I hated being.

I walked into the school ignoring all the whispers and stares and to my class. I put my ipod in and stared out the window hoping to block out the entire world.

School went by in such a daze. I didn't pay attention to anything going on or anyone that spoke to me. I just responded with "yea" or "uh huh." Nothing broke through until Tadase asked me a question during lunch.

"So…um Amu are you really not going to the water park with us this weekend? We would really like if you came." he said smiling.

I looked up and was about to answer when all the kids at the table began teasing him with a loud "OOOOOOOO!"

"I was just wondering! Stop it you guys!" he looked down blushing.

I sighed and tried to resume shutting out the world when Rima walked up with some boy I had never seen.

"Ahem!" clearing hear throat to get everyone's attention. Tadase and Kukai looked up puzzled as Yaya cheered.

"This is my boyfriend. He just returned from Europe. Introduce yourself." she said proudly.

"Nice to meet you all. My name is Nagihiko Fujisaki." he said smiling.

He was pretty cute with Rima and she was obviously proud of having him as her boyfriend.

Everyone else introduced themselves as I spaced off, until they got to me.

"Introduce yourself Amu." Yaya whispered.

"Oh nice to meet you im Amu Hinamori." I said trying to smile the best I could. He nodded at me smiling.

I knew it was safe to go back to blocking the world when everyone started the 20 questions portion of meeting someone new.

The rest of the day I succeeded in blocking out. I hurriedly ran out of school trying to avoid people and make it quickly to my most desired destination.

Once again my heart beat with excitement until I saw her. I looked over to see my mom waiting for me in the car. Immediately my heart sunk.

I contemplated running anyway, but it was no use. I walked up to the car crushed and slowly got in not even removing my back pack.

She started driving and looked over at me. "Just to make sure you don't try to run off and disobey me I'll drive you home everyday until I decide to lift your grounding."

I ignored her and looked out the window with such anger and disgust. I didn't even notice we had made it home until she cut the car off. I walked into the house numbly and upstairs ignoring all comments from Ami.

Im sure my mother wanted to fuss at me but I destroyed all chances and made it up the stairs quickly. I was so numb. I didn't even yearn for him. I sat down in a chair in my room feeling defeated.

I stood him up. There was nothing I could say or do. Id most likely never see him again by the time I was unpunished. He would take that as I didn't want to see him. I could always try and run to the park at night to meet him, but I couldn't go through the heartbreak of him not being there.

I decided that the best thing to do was forget about him and go back to my world with the many walls, where everything was empty and no one cared.

I pulled out homework for once and engrossed myself in all the late work as I slowly built my walls back up. I turned on my radio and shut out the world as I blasted rock music. It wasn't until I saw wet spots on my paper that I realized I was crying.

The walls started to form back up though and the tears stopped, hopefully never to be felt again. I also sported two new slashes on my arm.

It was 10:00 at night as I sat there numb. I felt like I used to and wasn't at all surprised.

Suddenly I heard a tap at my window. It scared me at first but I remembered that my tree did tap my window, until it got louder. I walked nervously to my window and pulled it up to have to catlike blue eyes met mine.

There he sat on a branch smirking at me. Ikuto. "Can I come in? This isn't too comfortable."

I nodded absently in shock. He climbed through my window and into my room stretching. He stretched his hand out and pushed my chin up closing my mouth. "Sorry but I would really hate it if bugs nested in your mouth."

My face shot red immediately and I tried to speak. "W-w-what…you…w-why?"

"Hm I think I can make out what you're saying. What am I doing here and why am I here right?"

I nodded staring at him. He was in my room. Actually in my room.

"Why im here is because you stood me up." he laughed.

I looked down trying to form words that wouldn't come out. I didn't have a voice.

"What im doing here is making our date anyway." he said as he took a piece of my hair and played with it.

I backed away finally able to make words. "W-why?"

He stepped towards me. "Cause I wanted to see you, Amu. I like having you around. You make me feel…I don't know…normal I guess."

My eyes got bigger as I stared at him. My heart was racing and all the walls I had just built crumbled. He still wanted to see me even though I had stood him up and he actually tried.

He grabbed my hand and looked at my wrist. I tried to pull my hand back but he held it so tightly. "Im sorry…" he said. He gently kissed my cuts as I sat there and once again felt warm tears rush down my face.

I felt as though he understood me with those simple words. "I didn't stand you up." I cried. "Im grounded, but I tried to see you. I wanted to see you too." I reached out closing the space and hugged him. He held me in his arms and stroked my hair as I cried.

It felt like forever that I stood there. I finally calmed down but still held on to him not wanting to let go.

_You love him! Admit it!_

I admit it. I loved Ikuto…I didn't know him but I loved him anyway. I wanted to know more though so I could make the love genuine. I wanted to drown in him at this point.

"Hey I have an idea. Why don't we get to know each other more? Wanna go to the carnival with me?"

I pulled away from him and looked up. "When?"

He smirked playing with my hair again. "Now. You said last time that you didn't know me. Well, we can change that. Plus you seem upset. Wait your grounded though."

"I don't care! Let's go! Im with you!" I shouted in a hurry. I felt embarrassed afterwards and turned away from him. "I mean…ya know…if you don't mind…"

He took my hand and turned me around to face him. Stroking my cheek he said "Well then you little rebel, lets go."

I smiled and nodded. Where ever he went I wanted to go at the moment. He made me feel something again.

I turned off all my lights and radio in order to make it look like I was asleep, though im sure they would never notice.

"You sure you wont get caught?" he asked smirking as we made our way down the tree quietly.

"Like you care. Besides im sure a stealthy cat like you can make sure im safe, right?"

He laughed. "Im not a cat, but you don't have to worry. I'll take good care of you." he said taking my hand. We ran out of the yard with much excitement. The night air felt good.

He led the way as we walked towards the carnival in the dark. I felt free and alive for once in a long time. I was with the one I knew I loved…

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>_OMG! I enjoyed writing this chapter so much lol. So! What happens next? What will we learn about Ikuto? What kind of carnival is this? Will she get caught? Will Amu hit Ami? Will Tadase finally get Amu to notice him? Will she ever go to that water park! Will the Ikuto and Amu kiss? (gasp) Write me a review and let me know what you thought. If I get enough I may write before next Tuesday ;) Thanks for reading. Until next time._

_~MewRaven94_


	5. Chapter 4

**AN: **_Its Tuesday~ Sorry for not posting last week. I've had a lot of school work and other things that came up. So I genuinely apologize for any of you that may have pulled out your hair waiting lol you know who you are ;) (jk) Thank you once again for all the amazing reviews I've gotten. They make me so happy! Anyways, heres Chapter 4! I hope you enjoy~_

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

We walked hand and hand, the wind gently blowing in my face. My hair was down and it gently whipped in my face as he led me towards what would hopefully be the best night of my life. I hadn't felt such excitement in a long time. There was the excitement of rebellion that can't be truly explained unless you have experienced it and the excitement of being with the person you really wanted to be with.

The streets were quiet and I hadn't realized how obvious my excitement was until Ikuto looked over at me and snickered.

"What's so funny?" I asked genuinely oblivious and curious.

"Nothing, you just look so excited. It's cute."

I could feel my face turn red and I was glad that there wasn't much light to give it away as I looked away from him nervously laughing.

"I'm not THAT excited." I lied.

He closed his eyes and laughed. "Well then I guess there is no reason to go then."

I looked at him shocked. "No I didn't mean it like that! I mean im excited, just not as excited as you think but…I don't know quit teasing me!"

"But it's cute. You act like a little kid sometimes. Your face just lights up like you just got some candy." he laughed pulling me faster down the sidewalk.

"I'm not a little kid." I mumbled blushing. "And who gets that excited for candy?"

"I don't know why don't you tell me?" he laughed.

As much as I hated to be teased, his was entirely different. He seemed to love my expressions and I admit that I didn't entirely hate it. If it would make him smile or laugh…I loved it. His laugh was cute and made my heart beat oddly and I hated it! But I loved it…

"Well I mean I guess little kids do, I don't know." I said.

"Hmm." he responded.

I could see a smile playing on his lips. "How old are you anyway?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"No questions until we get there." he said staring ahead. I started to see faint light coming from ahead and it occurred to me that I had no money for this carnival.

"I didn't bring any money!"

He sighed and kept pulling me. "Don't worry about that I have ways of getting in for free." he looked back winking.

I blushed and followed him the rest of the way in silence. My stomach was doing nervous little flips from being with him. I also couldn't believe he was still holding my hand, but if he didn't object to it neither would I.

We reached the edge of the sidewalk right before the entrance. All we had to do was cross the street and we would be there, but he stopped and let go of my hand. Walking behind me he covered my eyes with his hands.

"Hey! I can't see anything!" I complained.

"Really? Cause I was sure you would be able to see through my hands." he teased. "Don't worry I'll lead you there. Just walk. I want it to be a surprise."

"How is it a surprise, I already know that it's a carnival?"

He sighed and laughed. "Yea but you don't know what it looks like do you?"

"No." Now that I had thought about it I had never been to a carnival or anything, especially not around here. It was a way from my house but we took so many shortcuts to get here I knew I would never be able to find it alone.

"Alright then, walk." he said still covering my eyes and pushing me forward.

I was so scared I would fall and amazingly he could tell. "I wont let you fall, just walk." he whispered in my ear.

I blushed. Was I that easy to read?

I walked blindly with Ikuto as my eyes. I could hear the music as we walked onto what I hoped was the grounds of the carnival. We stopped for a second and I hoped he would remove his hands. I was getting so anxious and it was killing me. I heard him whisper to someone and a gate open.

"Are we in?" I asked impatiently.

"Hold on." he laughed. "Now. Ta-da!" he said as he removed his hands from my eyes and stepped back.

It was so pretty and bright. The trees were wrapped in lights and cute music played that made you feel like a kid. There were blow up clowns and other characters along with an assortment of rides and a couple of games where you could win prizes.

I had never been so excited and I looked around not knowing what to ride first. The merry-go-round looked inviting but so did the mini rollercoaster. Ikuto walked beside me and gently pulled my cheek.

"So how do you like it?" he asked smiling.

"It's so…I'm so…The tree…um." I stuttered for words. I was in such awe at how something so small could be so cute and fill me with such excitement.

"Ill take that as you like it a lot."

I nodded my head still looking around. "How did we get in here without paying or anything?" I asked turning to face him.

"Shh, it's a secret." he said putting and finger under my chin to close my mouth. He got closer to me as my face reddened even more. "What do you want to ride first?"

I smiled and backed up, looking down. "The merry-go-round."

He grabbed my hand and led me to the merry-go-round. He climbed up on one and stuck out his hand helping me get on the same horse. I nervously climbed up with his help and sat sideways. He held onto the pole as the ride slowly began. Afraid I was going to fall off I hugged him tightly as the ride spun around going up and down.

I was embarrassed at how this first ride had turned out, but also happy. I eventually calmed down as the ride continued. The wind was blowing my hair in my face and I rested my head on his back and closed my eyes.

"I feel like a princess on this horse." I laughed gently.

"Does that make me your prince?" he asked.

I smiled, blushing and started to answer when he cut me off.

"No…I wouldn't be fit to be a prince." he mumbled.

I felt a bit sad at his response as if there was something more behind it. "Well, what about a knight? You seem like you could be knightly?" I quietly laughed.

I could feel his laughter as I held him. "I'm more like a peasant that caught the princess's eye."

I was about to object when the ride slowed to a stop. I let him go and hopped off as he swiftly joined me. His comment bothered me still and I was about to ask but he grabbed my hand and led me to another ride.

We rode on a little train ride, then went through a fun house will silly mirrors, the mini rollercoaster twice, and finally a haunted house which he had to drag me into. By then I had forgotten everything previously bothersome and just laughed and had fun. I hadn't been this happy in such a long time. I never wanted it to end…I secretly prayed that it wouldn't.

I wanted to stay like this with Ikuto forever.

Exhausted we sat down on a bench and tried to catch our breathes. I started laughing as I thought about the haunted house.

"You have a lot of energy." he mumbled closing his eyes.

"No I don't your just old." I joked. "Wait how old are you? Can I ask questions now?"

"I'm 18. I bet you're like 16." he said smiling.

"Yea…so. My birthday is like next month. Your only 1 year older than me and that makes you old." I teased.

"I love how you try to justify it." he laughed opening his beautiful dark blue eyes.

"Whatever. Let's ride one more thing." I said standing up.

"Aren't you tired?" he smirked.

"No old man im not. Let's ride the teacups!" I pointed to the ride.

"That baby ride? We probably won't even fit in it."

"Well, that's the fun of it! We'll play rock paper scissors for it. Winner gets what they want." I said sticking my hand out.

* * *

><p>I won the first game and we crammed our way into the teacups. As it spun around I laughed in excitement throwing my hands up.<p>

He sat there hugging his legs staring off into space. He looked over at me and smiled suddenly which made my face turn colors again.

"I really did cheer you up didn't I?"

"Thank you. I'm very thankful." I said smiling. The smiles and laughter came so easily when I was around him. It made me feel nostalgic for the past but I wouldn't let that memory bring me down at a time like this.

"So you said we would get to know each other. I think this is a perfect spot to ask questions."

He closed his eyes and smirked. "Not fair I wanna hear about you first. It's the least you can do for me bringing you here." he teased

"So you're bribing me now?" I asked smirking.

"It's only bribing if you think of it that way. Please?" he said opening his eyes.

I couldn't resist his look and I sighed. "Where should I start?"

"Wherever you think is best." he said closing his eyes again.

I sighed and began with my childhood and went into the sad parts. The memories made me feel a little down but he numbed that feeling so it was easier to talk about. When I told him about my father having died he opened his eyes and looked at me. I talked about my happy memories with him and my life now. When I was finished I waited for him to say something but he just looked at me for awhile.

He looked away sadly. "Well, we have one thing in common except both my parents are dead."

I could see the hurt on his face and it sent a pain through my heart. I wanted so badly to take the sadness away. The ride stopped before I could say anything. We climbed out as the carnival lights started to dim and turn off.

"Well lets sneak you back home princess." he said still looking away in a daze. He grabbed my hand as we walked towards the carnival gate.

"I'm sorry…" I said looking at him.

"It's not your fault. It was a long time ago now." he said glancing over at me as we made our way down the sidewalk.

"How old were you?" I mumbled. It was such a touchy subject.

"I was 8. They died in a major car accident. I wasn't with them. I had to go live with my aunt…who isn't the best person in my opinion, but whatever." he said shrugging.

Something in my head clicked as I thought of the carnival. "How long has the carnival been there?"

"For awhile now. It's been there since I was little I know. I can't believe you haven't ever been there."

I couldn't either…but it didn't matter. Everything was perfect to me back then, but that's not what bothered me about it.

"Your parents used to take you there didn't they?" I asked gingerly.

He shook his head smiling.

"Then why did you take me there? Isn't it hard for you?" I asked suddenly angry.

"Because I hadn't been there in a long time and I wanted to cheer you up. It was always a happy place for me so I thought it would help you to and I was right. The memories may be painful but I don't like to run from them. Besides if it's that hard then why do you go to the park?"

He had a point but it still made me angry. I didn't want him to be hurt at my expense.

"I know…I bet they were really nice." I said finally calming down.

I looked up at him as he smiled sadly then did the unthinkable in my case. I let go of his hand and wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I'm sorry. Let me comfort you now." I could feel him laugh as he wrapped his arms around me, returning the hug.

"You're such a princess…" he mumbled.

We stood there for what felt like an eternity on a sidewalk hugging. Once again I secretly prayed that this moment would never end…I felt like someone actually understood me and I had to hold back tears. To me he wasn't a peasant or a prince. He was Ikuto and that all by itself was special enough…

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>_ Ta dah! Chapter 4 complete. I didn't want to go into to much of detail about Ikuto, because there is still more. What happens next? Will she get caught? A bunch of other questions I can't think of right now will all be answered next time xD! Write me a review and let me know what you though. I'm still so sorry. Oh yea. My finals are coming up soon and a bunch of review things. So once I again you may not get regular updates for awhile. BUT I will let you know. Check my profile for the info on any changes. Thanks for reading. Until next time!_

_~MewRaven94_


	6. Chapter 5

**AN: **_I know it's been awhile but it is Tuesday. I was really tied up with final exams and school, but I'm out of school now! SO that means regular on time updates every week or more now =D I am very sorry for the long delay. Hopefully this chapter will make up for it. I hope you enjoy!~_

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><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

I held his hand as we walked back towards my house. I really didn't want to go back home. I would be happy if I could just stay out with him in the night time air forever, but that was an impossible dream. That place seemed to drain me of all the life he gave back to me and I didn't like the idea of it. It's not like I want to be all "emo" because that's not who I really am, but the walls I put up make it seem that way. But Ikuto tears them all down.

"Hey if you don't mind me asking, where do you live?" I asked trying to make small talk.

"Hm I don't know how to explain it, besides im usually not home." he replied seeming distracted.

"So you're like a hobo?" I asked laughing.

I was relieved when he laughed back. "No, im sorta like a stray. I have a home but I like to wander around I guess."

I shook my head smiling to myself.

_Why is he so much like a cat!_

"Do you live with anyone?" I looked down as I asked.

"Sorta…I guess you can say I live alone. It's a lot to explain." he looked straight ahead once again seeming distracted.

"Are you lonely?" I looked at him directly, worry covering my face.

By then we had made it to the edge of my front yard. My heart ached as I thought about leaving his side and wished I could just run away with him at that moment for good.

He turned to face me and looked me straight in the eyes. "Not when im with you."

My face began to turn red and I looked down in embarrassment. He laughed in response to my reaction.

"So princess can I see you tomorrow at the park maybe?" he asked lifting my face back up to look at him.

"I don't think so. I'm grounded until further notice." I replied angrily. Just like a parent to keep a kid from having fun…or from the one they…loved.

"Well then how about more rebellion? We could sneak off again tomorrow night if you would like?" he said looking devious. It was such a cute look and I loved the suggestion.

"Yes! …um I mean whatever." My heart was eagerly jumping at the idea but I didn't want him to know that.

He laughed then sighed. Looking towards my yard his face turned serious. I knew something bad was following.

He looked back at me and twirled a strand of my hair in his finger. "I want to but you are grounded and if you were caught imagine how much more trouble you would be in. I don't want to be responsible for you getting in that much trouble."

"Yea I guess your right." I said trying to sound mature, but my heart was actually burning with the idea of not being able to see him again for awhile because of being grounded. Such a stupid thing blocking me from what was important to me. Rebellion was what I wanted more than anything, but it was one sided.

Sighing he added more pain to my heart. "I'm also actually going away for a little while. Not very long, there is just someone I have to go see. So I'll be gone for a couple of days. I'm leaving the day after tomorrow."

I literally felt my heart drop, but I had to be strong. I couldn't let it bother me this much. In my mind there was love but I refused to surrender my entire being to it. I quickly built up a wall around the pain.

"That sucks, but you'll be back so it's not so bad." I said plastering on my best smile.

He smiled and continued twirling my hair. "Such a strong princess. Why don't we trade cell numbers then. You won't get in trouble for texting will you?" he laughed.

"Nope." I said smiling. My heart leapt at the idea of having his number but I pushed it back trying not to surrender.

We both dug our phones out of our pockets and put each others numbers in them. I gave him a black cat icon for a picture, id get an actual picture later. I noticed how late it was and groaned.

"I just remember I have school tomorrow. Its gonna be like storm clouds moving over my carnival." I complained.

He laughed. "You might wanna take an umbrella then." I rolled my eyes.

"Is it that bad?" he asked poking my forehead.

I playfully swatted at him playfully and quickly summarized my teachers and so called friends.

"You don't like them but you call them your friends?" he snickered.

"Well I mean they aren't really my friends, they kinda lump themselves to me for some reason. I think they pity me or something…I don't know. It gets annoying." I complained looking down.

"Maybe you should be nicer to them and see if they really can make good friends." he said poking my cheek.

I sighed and rolled my eyes as he snickered at my reaction.

The hard part finally came, sneaking back into my room without making to much noise. He grabbed my hand as we ran silently as we could towards the tree that would take me up to my room. A car suddenly came speeding down the street and I jumped almost screaming. I covered my mouth and looked around as Ikuto laughed quietly.

We proceeded to quickly make our way up the tree as quietly as possible. Finally I opened my window and quietly climbed through, landing gently on my floor without a sound. I felt like a super spy and was proud of my skills.

I turned back to my window to face Ikuto. It was finally beginning to hit that he was leaving, and I didn't want him to go.

He was balanced on a tree branch and came close enough to my window that I could touch him.

"So, will you play your violin for me next time? Please?" I asked sadly. I knew I wouldn't see him for awhile and the idea was killing me.

He reached through my window and stroked my cheek and whispered in my ear "Next time, I promise."

He backed out of my window and whispered goodnight before he jumped out of my tree without a sound. All the blood had rushed to my face and I was at such a loss for words I didn't even tell him goodnight back.

I looked out my window searching for him, but it was to dark to see. He was amazing. I closed my window and plopped down on my bed exhausted from our fun antics. I thought about our fun sneaky/rebellious night and smiled. I pulled my sleeves up and looked at my cuts. Ikuto had taken all my hate and anger, even my walls away in an instant. No one had ever done that for me and I was still amazed that he even cared and that he came to see me. I grabbed my pillow and hugged it close to me.

Suddenly my pocket began to vibrate. I took it out and flipped it open to a text from Ikuto.

Ikuto: Don't 4get ur umbrella =P

I laughed and replied with a thank you and flipped it shut. I closed my eyes and quickly fell asleep. My dreams were filled with carnival music and beautiful bright lights.

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><p>I jolted out of my sleep and picked up my phone looking at the time. Moaning I jumped out of bed and hurried to get ready for school, which I now was going to be late for. It was amazing how my mother had the time to come pick me up from school but not make sure I get there on time.<p>

I ran down the stairs not even looking in their direction and out the door without grabbing anything to eat. I half ran half walked to school but the bell rang the minute I made it through the door. Moaning I quickly ran to class but stopped at the door. I braced myself for the verbal lashing that was surely coming my way and slid the door open.

She turned to face me with a mocking smile. "Ah Ms. Hinamori! So very nice of you to finally decide to join us. You're late which isn't a shocker. Have anything witty to say today?"

I stood there grinding my teeth together trying to control my temper. I could feel it ready to explode out like a volcano but I knew it would make things ten times worse if I replied with an attitude. What would really make it even worse was if my mom had to come down again.

Composing my temper I smiled and shook my head. "No ma'am, im very sorry for being late. I overslept."

I hoped that would earn me the right to sit down but instead she continued her bitching.

"Ah so you overslept. How irresponsible of you, but you were never a very responsible person anyway so this is the normal for you."

I looked away as I felt the anger come in like a tornado ready to rip apart a trailer park. I forced myself to smile and bottle up my anger till it hurt. "I'm sorry." I mumbled hoping that would appease her.

She huffed and motioned for me to sit down. I hurriedly scurried to my seat and put my face in my hands trying to smooth out the anger in my mind. Ikuto was right, I did need and umbrella, an umbrella to beat her with.

I thought of him and my anger started to subside and heartache moved in. I don't know which one I would rather take because neither felt good. Shaking my head I looked up to the eyes of Kukai who was smirking like an idiot.

I could feel the questions and nagging coming once class ended. Where was my umbrella!

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><p>Class ended and just as I had anticipated my "friends" crowded around me.<p>

"Wow she let you have it!" Kukai exclaimed. Tadase walked up and hit his arm.

"Quit teasing her! The teacher shouldn't have done that. It was totally uncalled for." he said glaring at Kukai.

"Yea Tadase is right!" Yaya chimed in.

"Don't worry we all know she's a bitch." Rima said as she came to sit on the desk in front of me dragging Nagihiko in front of her.

"Its ok guys, don't worry about it. She was just taking a stab at me since I usually mouth off at her." I finally said sighing. I just wanted them to drop it.

"Yea let's go to lunch." Tadase said standing up. They all got up to follow as I sat there spacing out.

"You coming Amu?" he turned back to ask. "Uh…yea." I said standing up quickly to catch up.

"OOOOO" they all teased in unison as Tadase blushed and yelled at them to stop.

We all sat down at the usual table. I began to space out like usual, trying as hard as I could to ignore them but what Ikuto said rang through my head.

_Maybe you should be nicer to them…_

I sighed and tuned back in trying to keep up. I put in my little input here and there and tried to laugh with them. Once again they mentioned the water park and how it was gonna be so much fun and how they wished I could come.

I smiled and shook my head. I didn't really want to go, but I thought of how I was going to be stuck in the house without any escape since Ikuto was gone. I had to find a way to escape my house and maybe this was a good opportunity.

When school finally ended I walked out to see my mom in the same spot as last time waiting. I sighed, gripping my bag tighter and contemplating my chances of getting away if I made a run for it. They looked slim and impossible so I walked to the car and climbed in.

She drove in silence not even looking at me. I stared at the window as I was being driven to my prison. I wouldn't have anyone to break me out this time. I decided to try my luck.

"Hey um mom. I know im grounded and all but my friends really want me to go to the water park with them this weekend and I would like to know if I can get your blessing." I asked glancing at her.

"Why should I let you do anything after the way you have been behaving?" she laughed.

"Your right, never mind…" and with that my plans were dashed.

"But…" she began and I listened eagerly. "Daichi is throwing a get together this Saturday and it would be better if you weren't there. So you can go."

"Thanks…" I replied. It seemed so twisted. Get rid of me so you can throw a party basically. Funny since I knew Ami was going to be there, but I was pretty relieved since it meant I wouldn't have to be stuck in the house this weekend.

When we got home I hurriedly made my way inside the house. Ami was dancing around in a new dress they must have just bought for her for the party. When she saw me she stopped. Her face scrunched up in disgust.

"She isn't coming is she?"

"No Ami, she isn't. She'll be gone that day with friends. Now go take that off I don't want it dirty." my mother said searching through her purse.

"I thought she was grounded?" she shouted angrily.

"Shut up you brat!" I yelled at her as I ran up the stairs. I heard her yell something at me but by then I was already in my room. Sometimes I just wanted to hit her…

I sighed and decided to text Ikuto the good news.

Me: Hey, so im basically not grounded anymore. And I get to go hang out w/ those "friends" this weekend. =D

I sent it nervously, hoping he would reply soon. A minute later there was a reply.

Ikuto: Good girl lol Sounds exciting. I hope you have fun.

Me: Thanks =) R u having fun?

Ikuto: Sorta. I'm sure id have more fun with you ;)

I dropped my phone after reading that message. I wasn't sure how to reply to it either. I went to pick it up and tried to think of something to say when he sent me another text.

Ikuto: I'll ttyl. She's getting mad. Have fun this weekend.

I was glad in a way that he had to go but also suddenly jealous. Who was this girl he was with? Was she his girlfriend? Was he some kind of player?

The questions that arose in my head made me realize just how little I actually knew about him and it bothered me. What if he did this to a lot of girls?

_NO!_

I couldn't bring myself to truly believe that or ask him who "she" was. I threw my phone on my bed and turned on my music trying to forget it all, but it wasn't working. Who was "she"?

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_What happens next? Will we ever find out more about Ikuto? Where does he live? Does he live alone? Who is this girl? Is he just playing with Amu? Will Amu ever surrender to her love for him? Will she ever notice Tadase? When is Ikuto coming back? Should Amu even be allowed to own an umbrella? So many questions to be answered next time! I tried to make it longer, but don't worry im going to try to update before next Tuesday. Its summer break!~ I've got plenty of time to write! Write me a review and let me know what you thought. Thanks so much for reading (IM STILL SORRY) Until next time~_

_~MewRaven94_


	7. Chapter 6

**AN: **_First I would like to say thank you for the reviews. They I really appreciate them all =) As I said in the last __**AN**__ I've got plenty of time to write, I just don't want to take it to fast. It seems I write best at night, so in the wake of a storm I write you chapter 6. I hope you enjoy!~_

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><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

I woke up the next morning in a daze. I kept trying to tell myself to forget about it but my heart didn't want to listen. I felt as though I was in an intense fog. I never knew I was a jealous person, but I was beginning to question a lot of things about myself. How was it that I could like a stranger like him? Why did I trust him so much? He could be a psycho and getting me to trust him could be his master plan. I could eventually be added to his book of murder victims…but that's not what I felt.

I didn't want to think about it anymore. I just wanted to dispel this "she" person and move on with my mundane life. It's not like he was my boyfriend anyway so I had no right to be jealous. Plus I had bigger things to worry about. Things like asking my "friends" if I could still join their water park adventure this weekend.

School went by in a blur but my teacher still managed to glare at me and make small remarks. While she wasn't directly aiming them towards me, I knew they were about me. Thankfully lunch came in a hurry and I breathed deeply trying to prepare myself. I was about to officially enter their world.

I sat down gingerly and stared at my lunch as they rambled on about this weekend's fun.

_Ok Amu! You can do this! Just ask them already! _

Finally building up the courage I opened my mouth and asked. "Hey um you know that trip to the water park this weekend…well is it alright if I come?"

Everyone at the table turned towards me with eyes of astonishment. The silence dragged on for a minute until Tadase finally spoke.

"Of course Amu. We did invite you before. We'd love for you to come! Right guys?" he asked excitedly.

"Yea! Of course!" Yaya screamed jumping up and down excitedly. I smiled the best that I could. I didn't actually want to go, it was only because "he" was gone and I didn't want to be stuck alone thinking about him in my boring room.

Before my room would have never seemed boring to me. It used to be my escape from the world. I always found things to do that kept me comfortable and happy, but lately my room has seemed like a prison. Whenever I'm alone in my room I can only think of him…which drove me crazy. I sighed and rested my chin in the palm of my hand.

"You know" Rima began "Tadase is the most excited about you coming. I bet he's jumping out of his skin right now for Saturday to come. After all he's the only one that can drive us there so we all have to ride with him." she said laughing.

"Rima stop…that's not true. I mean I'm happy she's coming but I'm not jumping out of my skin and Yaya was more excited about it than me!" he argued.

"Oh! So you admit you were excited?" Kukai teased elbowing him.

"No! I mean…ugh leave me alone guys." Tadase grumbled looking away. Everyone at the table laughed and surprisingly so did I. Did he really like me?

"Oh hey Amu we don't have your cell number. We need it so we can give you the details and find out where you stay." Rima gushed, obviously even more excited about Saturday than before.

"Oh alright." I said as I pulled out my phone. We all exchanged numbers, Tadase more hesitant after his teasing. "Well direct all driving directions to Tadase." Rima pointed smiling.

Tadase glared at her before looking at me with an uneasy smile. I smiled back, actually feeling bad for him. He seemed so shy and it was actually kind of cute. The rest of the day between classes Rima and Yaya gushed about bathing suits and flip flops while Kukai, Nagihiko, and Tadase talked about sports.

I sighed as I felt the familiar pain settle into my heart. The pain of missing someone…

After school I decided to walk home together with them. I needed some distraction from you-know-who. They all joked and laughed like friends do and I laughed here and there but I wasn't really listening. Suddenly Rima grabbed Yaya and Nagihiko's hands.

"Well come on you two lets go, we have a lot to do. Yaya needs to help me pick out a bathing suit and Nagihiko is my boyfriend so he obligated to come." she tugged smiling.

"Just because I'm your boyfriend doesn't mean I'm obligated." he laughed.

"Yes, it does! Bye you guys!" Rima yelled glaring hard at Kukai. Yaya waved smiling deviously as she was pulled off in whatever direction Rima was leading them.

"Whoa! Will you look at that I'm gonna be late for that thing I've got to do at that place! See ya!" Kukai exclaimed running off. I then realized what had happened. They planned to leave me alone, just me and Tadase.

I looked over at Tadase who was blushing from embarrassment. I wanted to just leave and walk myself home the rest of the way but I felt bad for him so I feigned stupidity.

"Wow what was that about?" I laughed. "They must all be so busy with the upcoming plans."

"Uh…yea." he said laughing uneasily.

"Well let's just keep walking home." I said smiling.

He nodded in response still embarrassed and probably somewhat angry. I couldn't stand the silence walking next to him so I decided to heed the advice Rima gave me about directing my living directions to him.

"Hey I can show you how to get to my house if you're coming to get me."

"Oh ok, I mean if you don't mind?" he replied running his fingers through his hair.

_He must be nervous…_

"I don't mind. I'm very thankful that you're ok with driving me." I laughed trying to lighten the awkward mood.

"I don't mind at all. I'm just glad you finally agreed to come. I know it'll be more fun with you there." he looked at me smiling.

I laughed nervously and looked away blushing. He was such a nice and polite guy.

We finally made it to my house and I explained little short cuts he could possibly take to get here. I figured it would be impossible to remember it all.

"Hey, if you don't mind you can come inside. I'll write you some directions so you won't get lost." I laughed. "There is no way you could remember it all."

He laughed as I led him inside my empty house. Throwing my bag on the couch I hurriedly walked to the counter for a piece of paper. I started scribbling down directions when I noticed Tadase staring at a picture on the wall. I finished the directions and ran over to where he was standing.

Looking at the picture feeling of sorrow and pain welled up, engulfing me. It was my dad.

"That's my dad." I said trying to smile. Memories of him played through my head bringing back old feelings that I had long ago pushed back.

"I'm sorry…" Tadase smiled somberly as he looked at me.

"About what?" I asked laughing. There was no way he knew about my dad dying.

"Your dad…he's…dead right?" he asked hesitantly. I nodded confused.

"H-how did you know?" I asked looking up at him.

"I remember when it happened years ago when you were little. We went to the same elementary school, remember? You didn't come to school one day and the teacher told us all that your dad had passed away." he looked pained as he talked about it.

"That's right…sorry." I laughed looking down. I thought back to that day when I went back to school after my father's death. Everyone looked at me sadly and the teacher tried to act like nothing was wrong but I could clearly see the pain on her face, and finally I remembered Tadase. Little Tadase with his beautiful blond hair…I remembered how he came over to me one day during recess and gave me a flower as I sat all alone under a tree.

"You gave me the flower…" I mumbled looking up at him.

"Yea…" he laughed embarrassed. "I didn't know what else to say…everyone pitied you but…I just wanted to give you something to make you smile."

It worked. I remember how I smiled and hugged the flower gently. He was the first person to do something other than pity me and say sorry. All those memories came back after so many years of shoving them away…trying to forget those days when my world fell apart.

On the verge of tears I hugged him. "Thank you…" I whispered.

He gently hugged me back. "For what?"

"For remembering…for caring." I said smiling.

"No thanks needed." he laughed.

No one else seemed to care. It was amazing that he still cared after so many years and still remembered. It meant a lot to me. The only other person to care like this was….

_Ikuto…_

Just then I jerked away. I looked up at him my mind spinning with thoughts. My heart started to flutter as I tried to remember what it was he was even at my house for.

"Oh! Um here are the directions." I said quickly handing him the piece of paper.

"Um yea I should get going. Thanks for the directions. I'll see you tomorrow at school." he said smiling shyly as I saw him out. He waved once he was on the sidewalk and quickly walked away.

I slammed the door shut and sank to the floor. I groaned and put my face in my hands. I was so confused. I jumped when my phone vibrated from a text. I stood up pulling my phone out. I flipped it open and smiled. It was Ikuto with one little message.

Ikuto: Don't drown this weekend lol

I stood in the living room for a minute as I thought of how to reply.

Amu: I'll wear arm floaties lol

Ikuto: Lol u may need a life jacket

Amu: Grr. I can swim lol

Ikuto: Lol how do I know that lol

Amu: Ugh stop teasing me lol

Ikuto: Fine, it's no fun if I can't see ur face anyway lol

Amu: Lol when r u coming bak anyway?

Ikuto: It's a surprise…bye bye!

A surprise? I smiled to myself. Maybe he was bringing me back a present. I excitedly squealed as I thought about it. Just then I heard my "parents" car come into the driveway and I made my hasty retreat up to my room.

I ran into my room slamming the door. My head was such a jumble of thoughts and feelings. I felt as though I could go into overload at any moment. I still wanted to ask him about "she" but I didn't know really how to do it, after all it wasn't me business. To bad my heart wouldn't let me feel that way…

Besides that what was this strange emotion I had for Tadase? Saturday was looking more like a bad idea than an escape…

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_There you have it! Chapter 6! Have I satisfied you until Tuesday? Do you have more to look forward to? Have I blown your minds? Lol! I enjoyed writing this chapter. I don't know why, it was just kinda fun towards the end. Anyway! Let me know what you thought. Write me a review. Don't be afraid to give me suggestions! I'll gladly incorporate them. Thanks for reading! See you Tuesday~ =D_

_~MewRaven94_


	8. Chapter 7

**AN: **_Happy Sunday~ Thank you for all the reviews I received, one in particular from an anonymous. I hadn't realized that I didn't upload last week lol. I'm so spacey sometimes; anyway that's why I have decided to upload today. So if im taking to long and I go past Tuesday nag me a bit and I'll update. So here is chapter 7. I hope you enjoy~_

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><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

Saturday finally came and I decided to wake up early that morning so I would be able to get myself properly prepared for my "fun" time today. I was still a little uneasy after what had happened the other day with Tadase. It put me in an awkward situation at school with him. I actually talked to my "friends" a little more, actually taking Ikuto's advice to be nicer to them.

They actually seemed to be alright…but I would never let Ikuto know that. I tried to avoid walking home with them though after what happened last time. What was so funny is how they apologized for having to leave us alone so suddenly that day. I acted like it was no problem and tried my best to seem ignorant to how blatantly planned it was.

Tadase was so embarrassed about it but still talked to me and waved to everyday. I guess it was kind of nice to have friends at school, but now I was about to hang out with those friends which I had never really done. Outside of school they could be totally different since school atmosphere is a lot more different.

I sighed and opened my drawer looking for my bathing suit. I had actually taken it upon myself to buy one last summer, and thank god it still fit. Its not like I actually went swimming but my parents tried to drag me to the beach last summer so I had to buy it…

It was a cute bikini that was black and pink. The top was striped black and pink while the bottom was solid black with a little pink bow on the front. I hated pink but when it was paired with black it was a pretty combination.

After stuffing everything I would need into a little duffel bag I readied myself with my usual routine. I decided to leave my hair down since it would probably fall out of any bow once it was wet. Afterwards I stuffed my phone into the pocket of my jeans and made my way downstairs taking deep breathes as I slowly took each step down.

I came face to face with my little brat of a sister. She glared at me and stuck her tongue out to which I rolled my eyes.

"Really you're sticking your tongue out at me? What are you five?" I laughed as I walked towards the kitchen. I decided to grab an apple instead of eating a big breakfast since I was going swimming.

"Why do you get to go swimming and I have to go to some stupid party…" Ami mumbled.

"Because I don't want to be seen with you anywhere." I grumbled as I sat down. I tried to contain my temper. I didn't want to be put in a bad mood before my friends came to get me.

She huffed and crossed her arms as my mother walked in and began setting out the good statues and decorations on the table. She sighed and looked up at me with her hands on her hips.

She dug through her pocket and reluctantly handed me two 10 dollar bills.

My eyes widened with shock and I took it hesitantly. "Um…thanks."

She nodded in return. "Put it somewhere safe so you wont loose it." she mumbled running her hand through her hair. I could tell she was stressed and deep in my heart I felt bad for her. Deep in my heart though…

"Mommy why does she get to go swimming? I want to go swimming to! I don't wanna go to some stupid party!" Ami began to whine.

I sighed as I stood up to throw away my now finished apple. Here we go…

"Ami dear don't whine. I'll take you swimming another time." my mother gently replied.

Just then Daichi walked in with more decorations in his arm. "Hey Ami wanna help me set these out?" he said obviously struggling with the arm full.

Ami with her brat behavior set on high sighed and took some of the decorations and began setting them down in their proper places since she had done this before. "Your gonna look so pretty in your new dress" Daichi cooed.

"Yea but Amu gets to go swimming…" Ami continued to whine.

"That's only because she isn't invited." my mother replied annoyed.

"Oh…well then its ok." Ami laughed.

I rolled my eyes and began praying for my friends to hurry and arrive. I sat at the kitchen table silently as they set out decorations. It wasn't until my mother did the unthinkable that I actually bothered to complain.

She stood and stared at the picture of my father on the wall and suddenly pulled it off the wall with a sigh.

"Wait!" I said slamming my hands on the table and standing up. "What are you doing? That's dad! Why would you take that down!" I shouted.

"Amu…its ok I'll put it back up after the party. I just don't want everyone's attention on it." she said staring at the picture as she held it.

"Everyone's attention! That's dad! What do those other people matter! He deserves to be there regardless of these people!" I continued to shout.

"Amu stop it! You're not even going to be here! You should be thankful I even let you go to the water park with your friends! I also ended your punishment and gave you money! You're so ungrateful!" she shouted back.

"I don't care this is different!" I was on the verge of tears. I had never seen her take down my father's picture like that for any occasion. I ran towards her and snatched the picture away.

"Amu…." I turned to look at Daichi who had hurt soaking his eyes. "You don't understand."

"No! You don't understand! None of you do!" I shouted. I ran up to my room and slammed the door. It wasn't until I had sat on my bed and looked at the picture had I noticed I was crying. Tear drops fell onto the picture frame and I wiped them away with the bottom of my shirt before wiping the tears away on my own face.

I couldn't cry…not now. Too much was happening today to sit here and ruin it with my tears. I stared at the picture of my father with pain in my heart. I missed him so much and wished more than anything that he was still here. I laughed as I looked at his big goofy smile and the little curl of a cowlick that was on his head.

I could feel myself about to cry again when my phone began to vibrate. I dug through my pocket for my phone and flipped it open. It was a text from…Ikuto.

Ikuto: Hope you have more fun today than im having lol

I stared at the text for a minute before finally finding the words to reply with. He always seemed to be there when I was upset and I smiled at the idea hoping that it was true.

Amu: Ur not having fun?

Ikuto: Not my idea of fun…

Amu: What's ur idea of fun?

Ikuto: Youthful rebellion with a pink haired girl lol

I smiled widely and blushed a little as I read the text over and over to myself before replying.

Amu: Hm I wonder who your talking about lol?

Ikuto: Lol im not sure

Amu: Well the sooner you get back from ur vacation the sooner you can create more rebellion with a certain pink haired girl lol

Ikuto: Hm…I wonder when that will be ;) have fun

Amu: Thanks, I'll try.

I groaned as I thought about him. When was he going to come back? To me it seemed like he had been gone forever. Suddenly my phone began to vibrate but this time differently from a phone call. I flipped it opened and put it to my ear.

"Hello?"

"Hey Amu it's me Tadase im outside."

"Oh ok im coming." I flipped the phone shut and placed the picture gently on my bed after giving it one more pained look. After stuffing my phone back in my pocket I ran down the stairs. I ran towards my bag avoiding the eyes of everyone downstairs.

"I forgot to mention. You will need to cook for yourself tonight because by the time you get back we most likely will be gone. We plan to go out to dinner with everyone after the party." my mother told me dryly.

"Whatever…" I mumbled and quickly made my way outside. I stood on the porch and tried to push back all the annoying thoughts and put on my best happy face. I walked towards Tadase's car which was sitting right in front of my yard to the side of the street. As I walked up I noticed no one else was in the car.

I opened the car door to the passenger's side and sat down gingerly holding my bag on my lap. His car was nice for someone only in the 11th grade which made me realize he had money. His radio was turned down low but I could distinctly hear a Led Zeppelin song. I smiled at his great taste in music, though he didn't seem like the type to like this kind of music.

"Good morning." he said.

"Morning." I replied smiling.

"Um sorry about everyone else. I have to go get them all now. They all said they were running late and told me to come get you first." he mumbled.

Great…another Rima plan I was sure. I looked out the window and rolled my eyes before turning to look at him with a smile.

"It's cool."

He began to drive in silence and I felt more and more awkward. I couldn't stand the feeling so I quickly tried to make conversation.

"Hey you have great taste in music." I said smiling.

"Oh thanks. I listen to a lot of old school rock." he replied smiling.

He turned the volume up a little as we got into a big discussion about who's a better guitar player Jimi Hendrix or Jimmy Paige.

I was having such a fun time talking to him that I hadn't noticed our arrival at Rima's house. Nagihiko and Kukai sat on her porch obviously impatient as they waited for the girls who must have been inside. Tadase laughed and beeped his horn as the boys piled in the back. Rima came running out yelling for Yaya to hurry who came out not long after her.

When they were all piled in the back Tadase took off to our final destination: the water park. Everyone in the back greeted me as Rima began apologizing for taking so long. I laughed knowing that it was her actual plan all along.

We all laughed and talked about music. Kukai began to argue with Tadase about who was the better guitarist as Nagihiko had all his attention focused on Rima.

"Hey no kissing in my car." he yelled teasingly at the two love birds in the back.

Nagihiko laughed and Rima stuck out her tongue.

"Aw it's so cute!" Yaya teased poking Rima.

The drive didn't take as long as I had thought and before I knew it we were parked in front of a huge indoor water park. We all climbed out of the car and made out way inside. After paying the entrance fee of 7 dollars we searched for a good sitting spot.

Rima pointed out a perfect spot with a bunch of beach chairs and a small table. She grabbed Nagihiko's hand and ran towards them as we all followed behind her. I sat my bag down next to the chair I wanted and took out my pretty purple beach towel. I laid it on the chair when Yaya ran behind me and grabbed my arm.

"Come on Amu let's go change!" she excitedly shouted. She had so much energy for someone so small. I grabbed my bathing suit and was tugged towards the changing rooms where Rima stood waiting, waving seductively at her boyfriend.

We all went into our own changing stall and tried to get out bathing suits on. I laughed as me and Rima walked out holding the top strings of our bathing suits that we couldn't tie. Yaya came out spinning around with her arms up showing off her bathing suit. She had a tiny body with a small chest so her bathing suit was perfect for her.

It was easy to put on since it was a halter top that just slid over your head and tied in the back. It was a baby pink with white polka dots and little ruffles of lace on the bottom. Perfect for her I thought but Rima sighed annoyed.

"Come on Yaya. Your in the 11th grade, you need to quit wearing little baby suits." she laughed.

Yaya huffed and put her hands on her hips. "It's not a baby suit!"

I laughed still holding the strings. "It looks cute on her."

"See! Thank you Amu." Yaya yelled before sticking out her tongue at Rima.

Rima roller her eyes and smiled. "Whatever. Can you help me tie this?"

Rima had a nice shape and a way bigger chest than Yaya. She was actually built like a woman and was very confident of her appearance. She stood in the mirror and posed as Yaya helped me tie my bathing suit. Rima's bathing suit was solid red and looked pretty with her long wavy hair that she had pulled back in a bow. Her hair fell to the bottom of her back and I sort of wished at that moment that I had hair that long and blond.

Maybe it was my confidence but I didn't think I looked as nice as Rima. I felt to plain when I compared our body shapes, though I did have nice chest in my opinion. I wasn't prepared for the reaction of the boys. Yaya ran out first posing to which they all laughed, then Rima who stood proudly like a woman. Nagihiko whistled and she smiled in approval.

"Come on Amu!" she called back to me smiling.

I was nervous as I walked out slowly. I really didn't want them gawking at me which was exactly what they did.

"Wow…" Kukai whispered as he stared at me. I thought it was just him but I noticed that all the guys looked at me like that, even Nagihiko.

"You look nice Amu." Tadase complimented shyly.

"Thanks." I mumbled looking down. I just wanted them to all stop gawking. There was no way I showed up Rima. I looked over at her as she walked towards her boyfriend and pushed his face to look at her, jealousy radiating from her face.

_Great…_

"Well what are we waiting for? An invitation from the water?" Yaya said changing the subject. I smiled and walked next to Yaya. "Thanks…" I mumbled. She smiled in return and nodded.

"You do look pretty by the way." she said smiling and grabbing my arm as we ran to the edge of the pool. I was beginning to like Yaya like an actual friend. We stood staring at the water when I noticed Kukai sneak behind her. He put his finger up to his lips mouthing for me to be quiet. I smiled since I knew what was coming next.

He screamed and grabbed Yaya around the waist and pulled her into the water with him. I stepped back as the water splashed up and laughed. Kukai came up laughing and Yaya splashed him with water.

"I'm gonna get you back!" she screamed laughing.

"Yea right!" Kukai laughed as they splashed around.

Rima and Nagihiko stood in the water making out and I noticed the absence of Tadase. I turned around in time to grab his arm as he pushed me in the water. We both fell in and resurfaced laughing. I was actually having a lot of fun and at that moment I was happy I came.

I was convinced into going down the big slide more than once and splashed around with everyone. We dived in a race to find a penny Kukai threw in, to which I won every time. I laughed at Rima who somehow ended up on the other side of the pool when we were diving.

"My hair was in the way." she laughed.

"Sure it was." Tadase teased.

After a few hours of swimming we all decided to get out and buy ice cream.

"So! Who's going to get it?" Rima said ringing out her long wet hair.

"Not me!" Kukai yelled raising his hand.

"I nominate Tadase and Amu." Nagihiko laughed raising his hand.

"What? No." I laughed glaring at Nagihiko.

"I second that vote." Rima said as she sat on Nagihiko's lap.

Tadase sighed and crossed his arms. "Why do I always have to go?" he smiled.

"I don't know what you're talking about? Besides you wouldn't want make a lovely lady go alone would you." Kukai teased.

I blushed at the lovely part and stood up. "Its cool, I'll go with you Tadase."

"Yay! Now stop being difficult Tadase and go get us all vanilla." Yaya jumped up and down excited.

Once again I was positive that it was a plan to get us alone, I didn't really mind though since he was a nice guy. They all gave him money and we walked towards the ice cream stall.

"Sorry about this, they always make me go." he laughed.

"It's okay. I don't mind." I smiled and looked over at him. He had such a nice build with broad shoulders and a strong looking physic. His skin looked really smooth and he had such a pretty complexion. He actually looked…beautiful.

I hadn't noticed I was staring until he looked at me. "What?" he said smiling.

"Um…nothing you have nice hair." I laughed embarrassed.

"Thanks. Yours is really pretty to."

I blushed and looked away when we reached the ice cream stall. He ordered the 6 vanilla cones and handed him the cashier the money.

"Wait here's my money." I said pushing my money onto the counter. Tadase pushed it back towards me.

"It's ok, I'll pay for yours. After all you had to come with me. It's the least I can do." he said smiling.

I nodded and stuffed the money into the corner of my bathing suit top. He was so gentlemanly and polite. When we returned with everyone's ice cream we all gathered around the table and joked around like a normal group of friends. I sat next to Tadase and ate my ice cream while actually talking to everyone.

I didn't want this to end truthfully…I didn't want to go back home to my lonely house. I realized that I liked this company, but every great day has an ending. Our fun finally came to and end and we put on our clothes over our bathing suits. We all climbed back into Tadase's car and were driven home.

They all got out at Rima's house and said their goodbyes to me and how they had fun.

"Now drive her home safely." Rima smiled waving as Tadase drove away rolling his eyes.

He drove to my house as we continued our earlier discussion about music.

"You looked really pretty today if you don't mind me saying." he said shyly.

"Oh, thank you." I replied blushing.

We finally made it to my house and he go out to walk me to my door. As we walked to my porch I noticed that my room light was on but my parents weren't home. It was weird because I know I didn't leave it on.

"I had fun today. I'm glad you came. We should all do this again soon." he said smiling.

"Yea im glad I came too. Thanks for inviting me." I replied still a little distracted. Suddenly my phone vibrated and I fished it out of my pocket. It was a picture from Ikuto of my room. I gasped and almost dropped my phone.

"What's wrong? Is everything alright?" Tadase asked with worry.

"Uh yea don't worry. Thank you once again, I'll see you at school Monday. Goodnight." I quickly said opening my door.

"Oh ok. Goodnight." he said still concerned. When he finally got in his car I closed the door and stood in place for a minute. There's no way Ikuto was in my room, but then how did he get that picture. It had to be my room…

I ran up the stairs dropping my bag at the bottom of the stairs and threw open my door to see Ikuto sprawled out on my bed looking through one of my magazines. My heart was beating out of control. I had so many questions like for one what was he doing in my room but I was so excited to see him.

My breath caught when he looked up at me and smiled. "Welcome home princess. This magazine is very boring."

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_Dum dum duh! Cliffhanger…sorta. I tried to make this chapter longer since I didn't update last week. How did Ikuto get in her room? What is going on with her and Tadase? Write me a review and let me know what you thought. Don't be afraid to give me any suggestions. I'll gladly try to incorporate them. Thanks for reading! Until next time!_

_~MewRaven94_


	9. Chapter 8

**AN: **_Happy Wednesday! First of all thank you so much for all the reviews. They excite me every time I read them. Second im sorry for the late update. A lot has been going on but I wanted to finally get some writing in and get back on track. So here is Chapter 8. I hope you enjoy =)_

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><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

"What are you doing here…on my bed?" I asked in shock. Truthfully I was happy to see him but astonished as to how he got in my room. I glanced at my window and guessed that was his way in.

He laughed gently studying my expression. "I'm reading your magazines duh."

I rolled my eyes at his teasing as he flipped the magazine closed and stretched off my bed. "Well actually I got home early and I was bored so I decided to come see you but you weren't home, so I made myself comfortable."

I didn't know how to respond. Should I be mad? I really couldn't since it would be a big lie. I was glad he was here, I had missed him so much and really wanted to see him. He walked up to me grinning and lifted my mouth with his finger.

"One day a fly is going to nest in your mouth." he said as he came even closer.

I could hear my heart in my ears as the blood started to rush to my face. I looked down in embarrassment. "Well…you shouldn't break into people's rooms." I said convincingly as I could. It wasn't a surprise that he could see through it.

He smiled and shrugged as he stepped back away from me. "Fine. I'll leave then and wait to be invited."

"I mean you don't have to leave…just be good." I said looking up at him. The thought of him leaving made me panic a bit. I really didn't want to be alone right now…I mean I had a good day and it felt good to be around people like that and I was actually pretty sad that it was over.

He closed his eyes and put his hand over his heart. "I promise."

I felt kind of weird with him being here even though I was happy to see him. Even worse is that I needed to shower after swimming but I was worried to do so with him here.

He walked up to me again and grabbed a strand of my hair. "You smell like chlorine." he teased as he twirled my hair on his finger. I backed up immediately self conscious.

"Yea that's what happens when you go swimming." I said trying to laugh it off. I sighed as I had finally made up my mind to go shower.

"Ok you stay here. I'm going to go shower. I wont take long so read that whatever or watch TV." I said as I scrambled for clothes to change into.

"What if I have to pee?" he laughed.

I blushed and turned away to avoid his gaze. "Stay out or I'll throw you out the window."

I dashed into my bathroom as I heard him laugh. I felt weird showering with him here but I wouldn't dare stay around him smelling like chlorine. I relaxed when the hot water hit my skin.

_Quit worrying so much Amu! _

I sighed as began washing my hair. I wouldn't worry, I'd just try to enjoy my time with him like I actually wanted to.

After getting cleaned up and coaching myself through my panic attack I was actually pretty excited to see him. I could never let him know that. I dried my hair the best I could and slowly opened my door.

"That wasn't to long was…" he wasn't there. I noticed my room door open and my heart felt like it was about to explode. I forgot to factor in my parents. It was like having snuck a kitten into your house without your parents knowing. I ran down the stairs as quickly as I could without falling and into the kitchen.

He stood by my counter eating an apple restlessly moving. He swallowed and looked up at me. "Hey! You look clean." he said smiling before he took another bite of the apple.

"I thought I told you to stay!" I said as I glanced out the window. I was paranoid with him being down here. I felt like my parents were just going to dive through the door and discover him.

"I got hungry and I peeked in your kitchen and saw apples." he said trying to look as innocent as possible.

"My parents could be back at any moment!" I said still glancing back out the window again.

"Well then we make a hasty escape back to your room." he said confidently. "Don't worry I wont get you in trouble, I promised to be good."

I sighed and put my hands on my hips. "Fine. I'm pretty hungry anyway. I'll make you something better than an apple."

He threw away the finished apple and smiled. As I began making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches he sat at the kitchen table watching me. "Well maybe it's not better than an apple, but its more filling." I smiled as I set down his sandwich in front of him on a plate. I sat next to him with my sandwich and took a bite that was much appreciated by my hungry stomach.

"Tastes good to me." he smiled as he sniffed my hair. "You smell like strawberries. That's cute."

"Thanks, it's my favorite shampoo." I said blushing. After we finished out sandwiches I cleaned up the plates. I was feeling more and more comfortable with him being here. "So what do you…" I turned around to nothing. Once again he had snuck off somewhere. I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room to see him looking at an old photo album.

"Cant you sit still for a minute? How did you find that anyway?" I said walking up next to him as he looked through the album.

"Which question do I answer first?" he teased still as he slipped through pages.

I sighed and smiled as I took the album from his hand. I ran to the couch and patted beside me for him to sit. When he sat I opened the album and flipped through pages as he asked questions of who everyone is and what this was a picture of. My heart ached when I turned to a page that had a picture of my dad, my mom, my sister, and me during a happier time.

"I was 6 years old then. That's my little sister Ami in my mom's arms. She was only 1 then." Finally I pointed to my dad with a heavy heart. He was smiling so brightly as always hugging me tightly. "That's my dad…we were at the park that day. The one you always hang out at. Right in front of that bench where I met you at…"

I remembered that day so vividly as if it had just happened yesterday. My mom was picking flowers with Ami while my dad ran around pushing me on the swing set, catching me at the bottom of slides, or just chasing me. That's back when my mom actually used to smile and my sister wasn't such a brat.

I slammed the album closed as I couldn't bear the memories any longer. I got up and returned it to the shelf near the stairs. I looked back at Ikuto trying with my best ability to smile. I walked back to the couch to sit down next to him when he stood up.

"I'm sorry to ask…but how did your dad die?" he stared at me with intense eyes.

"He got sick…no one knew what it was. They couldn't really help him…one day he was fine and then he was just…gone." I struggled to tell him. I felt hot tears stream down my cheeks as I looked up at him. He caressed my cheek and wiped away the tears with his thumb before hugging me tightly.

This had to be the 3rd time Ikuto saw me cry and every time he had hugged me. At that moment I realized how happy I was to have met him. I didn't know everything about him, but I knew he was probably what I had needed all these years. I felt like he was a godsend. I buried my face in his chest and held onto him tightly as I tried to push back the pain and sadness.

I pulled away and rubbed the tears out of my eyes sniffling a little. "Sorry." I said trying to smile. He stroked my hair and smiled at me gently. "Don't be."

I genuinely smiled as I looked into his beautiful dark blue eyes. He made me feel normal and gave me a person to confide in. My heart began to race as he continued to stare at me and move his face closer to mine. Was he going to kiss me? I wrapped my arms around his neck as he got closer ready to receive my first kiss lovingly.

Are lips almost met when suddenly I heard the engine of a car. Panic drenched my face as we let each other go and I ran to the window. My face was flushed from all that just happened and I couldn't think correctly as I saw my "family" get out the car. I felt Ikuto grab my hand and pull me towards the stairs. I snapped out of my trance in time to make it quickly up the stairs.

I slammed my door shut and sank to the floor with relief. Putting my hand over my heart I tried catching my breath and calming down as I looked up at Ikuto who was smirking at me on the floor.

"That was fun." he said as he stretched out his hand to help me up. I grabbed it and shook my head.

"Come on admit it." he laughed.

I looked down and smiled. "Yea…" Why was rebellion so fun anyway? I put my finger up to my lips to shush him as I put my ear up to my door. I heard him flop on my bed as I continued to listen to the commotion downstairs. They were all laughing and talking about the fun time they had. All of it without me…it didn't matter though…

I continued to listen until I heard Ikuto sigh and pull me over to my bed. We both fell onto my bed, me more forcibly than him. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me close to him. "What are you doing!" I whispered loudly.

I looked over at him to see his eyes closed as if he was trying to sleep. "Why are you whispering?" he said smirking.

"What do you mean why? Don't change the subject!" I continued to whisper angrily.

"They're gonna think your talking to yourself if you keep whispering that loud." he said gently laughing.

"Well you're not whispering at all." I blushed trying to pull his arms from around my neck.

"You're not making much effort to make me let go." he mumbled.

"Ugh! Stop…" I said unconvincingly.

"Shh. I'm sleepy." he said through a yawn.

"You're going to sleep here?" I almost yelled. He was about to say something when there was a knock at my door. I jerked up immediately and pulled him off my bed. I yanked him into the bathroom with me and closed the door gently. Putting my finger up to my lips I answered the knock.

"Yes?"

"Amu?" It was my mom, the worst person that could appear at this time. She never came in my room and now all of a sudden here she was.

"Sorry I just got out the shower. What did you need?" my heart was about to burst out of my chest and Ikuto proceeded to make it worse. I was still facing the door as he pulled my hair back and playfully bit my ear.

"Ah!" I screamed. It wasn't out of pain which made it so bad. I tried to push him away but he grabbed me around my waist and laughed quietly in my ear and nuzzled his face in my neck.

"Amu? You ok?" my mom asked getting closer to the bathroom door. I quickly stretched out and locked the door.

"Don't come in im naked!" I yelled trying to keep my voice as steady as possible as Ikuto attacked.

"Wow. Why didn't you tell me?" Ikuto whispered in my ear before quietly laughing.

"Alright. Um I came to bring your bag upstairs. Ami almost tripped over it and I thought you may be sleep." she yelled through the door.

"Oh thanks. You can throw it on my bed." I said still trying to steady my voice.

"Alright but Amu you shouldn't leave your stuff downstairs on the floor like that. Someone could get hurt." I could hear her throw my bag on the bed.

I rolled my eyes. "Ok…Ah!" I screamed again as Ikuto playfully bit my ear again.

"What are you doing in there?" she asked once again coming closer to the bathroom.

I picked up my folded towel off the sink and started hitting Ikuto with it. He let go and shielded his head. I dropped the towel and glared at him as he tried to hold back laughs.

"Nothing I had a knot in my hair. I'm fine." I quickly lied.

"Oh, well remember what I said." she yelled to me before I heard my door close and her make her way back downstairs.

When I was sure she was gone I picked the towel back up. "I should beat you with this towel your pervert!" I almost screamed.

"That would be an interesting way to die. Just imagine what the papers would say. Perverted guy beat to death with young girl's bath towel." he said smirking trying to hold back laughter.

"This isn't funny! My mom could have found you! And what is with the ear biting! I told you to be good!" I said whispering angrily.

"You never told me to stop so I thought it was good." he said continuing to smirk. My face immediately flushed red. I rolled my eyes and stomped out of my bathroom.

I sat on my bed and crossed my arms. "Come out here…" I mumbled still mad. I was more embarrassed than mad since I actually did like it.

"As long as you promise not to beat me with that towel again." he laughed.

I looked down having not noticed that I was still holding it. I stood up and tossed it in my closet and put my hands up. "No towel."

I walked over to turn my TV on to help drown out our talking as he passed me laughing.

"I guess I should leave since your mad now." he said sitting on my windowsill.

I looked up sadly not really wanting him to go. "I'm not mad…"

"You telling me to stay?" he asked as I flopped back on my bed exhausted from today.

"I don't care…you can if you want…but just tonight." I tried to hide how much I actually wanted him to stay. I closed my eyes so I wouldn't see his decision. I was truly exhausted. I heard my light turn off and felt him wrap his arms around my neck and pull me close to him.

I opened my eyes in astonishment. "What are you doing?"

"Trying to sleep…" he mumbled.

I then realized just how tired he looked. I sighed and closed my eyes. I didn't really mind him being here…it was nice to feel close to someone. I didn't feel so alone for once.

"Fine but only this once can you sleep in my bed, because you look so tired and I don't have any covers for you." I said opening my eyes, but he was already sound asleep.

I smiled as I listened to his breathing and closed my eyes to join him.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong> _Aw that's so cute! They are all snuggled! XD! Well what did you think? Write me a review and let me know. I'll try and update soon. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Until next time~ _

~MewRaven94


	10. Chapter 9

**AN: **_I am back after what seems like forever to me. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for the level of patience and understanding I received. Thank you for not giving up on me. Also thank you for all the reviews. Now without further ado I bring you chapter 9. I hope you enjoy =)_

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><p><span>Chapter 9<span>

I opened my eyes drowsy from the peaceful slumber. I laid still for a minute trying to find the strength to get up because I really didn't want to wake up from such a pleasant sleep. I hadn't slept that well in a LONG time and I had Ikuto to thank once again. My heart flipped in my chest when I thought of him and I turned over to an empty spot in my bed.

I jumped from underneath the covers and ran to the bathroom which was empty. I began to panic thinking he might be downstairs and that any minute my so called parents would come out and call the cops. I groaned and rubbed my head.

"This is too much excitement for someone who just woke up…."

I went to sit back on my bed to drowsy to even continue looking. I hoped he wasn't daring enough to go downstairs but I really didn't even want to look. Just as I tried to mentally prepare myself for the trouble that was to come I looked over and saw a note on the pillow he was sleeping on.

His name was neatly printed on it and I ran my finger across his name smiley to myself.

It read:

_I decided to go home so I wouldn't cause any trouble in the morning, but I'm coming back to get you around 12 whether your ready or not ;) _

_-Ikuto_

_PS: You look cute when you sleep._

I could feel the blood rush to my face and was so glad that no one was there to see it. I hugged the note to my chest and once again groaned. It wasn't fair that he could make me feel this way. I liked it since it made me feel normal again…but maybe feeling this feeling wasn't as good as it seemed. The pain that could develop from the feelings…they just didn't seem worth it. I knew what pain felt like and I didn't want to feel it again…

Crossing my legs on my bed I held the note rereading the "you look cute when you sleep part" over and over to myself. Suddenly I remembered the rest of the note and the time limit that came with it. I had till 12 and I didn't even know what time it was. I jerked my head to the clock on my dresser and my breathing stopped.

It was 11:35 which meant I had less than 30 minutes. If only I had noticed sooner then the panic that developed would have never existed. I didn't want him to come to my door cause then he would have to meet my parents which was a big NO! yanked my dresser open looking for something to wear and decided to go to my closet instead. I had dragged clothes all over my room before I actually found an outfit.

It didn't take long for me to get ready but today it felt like an eternity and by the time I got done showering, doing my hair, and plastering on makeup it was 2 minutes till 12. I groaned as I threw on my shoes and yanked my door as I flung myself down the stairs trying not to fall.

I almost made it to the door when my mom stopped me.

"Where are you going?" my mother nonchalantly asked.

"Um out…with a friend. Why?" That was the biggest mistake, asking why. I mentally kicked myself as I prepared for what was coming next.

"Because I'm your mother and I wanted to know, but it doesn't matter anyway. We wont be home till later tonight." she said unconcerned.

Anger flared inside. "Then why did you ask?" I said bitterly turning to face her. She was putting on lipstick and not even looking at me.

"I don't know you seemed in such a hurry. Is it wrong for a mother to ask where her daughter is going?" she barely looked at me when she said it.

"You just said it didn't matter!" I shouted back.

"Look do whatever you want with your little friends. Me and your father are taking Ami to her friend's birthday party and we won't be back till later tonight."

The apathy that radiated from her voice -though I didn't want to admit it- hurt me.

Just then Ami came skipping in all dressed up for the birthday party, Daichi right behind her.

"Your just jealous cause you can't go." she mocked sticking her tongue out. All I could think was where is that umbrella.

"Shut up! No one cares about some stupid birthday party for a bunch of babies!" I shouted frustrated. Why was I so excluded from my own family?

"Amu, be nice to your sister!" Daichi shouted back. "That's no way to talk to her!"

"You're kidding right!" I was in disbelief! Why was she allowed to say whatever she wanted to me but whenever I said something back to her, I got reprimanded. I was about to continue when I heard a knock at the door. I gasped and remembered that Ikuto was coming.

My heart leaped as I tried to make it to the door but the brat beat me to it. Opening the door I saw his beautiful eyes look straight at me then down at Ami.

I smiled and squeezed past my sister just wanting to run away with Ikuto before they could even see him.

"Wait Amu! Who is this?" my mother asked suddenly concerned.

I sighed and turned to look at her. I tried to control the anger that welled up inside so I wouldn't make an embarrassing scene in front of Ikuto.

"This is Ikuto, my friend." I mumbled motioning to him.

He leaned against my door frame and smiled warmly. "Nice to meet you Mrs. Hinamori."

She nodded at him barely smiling just as Ami butted in. "Um…I'm Ami."

She looked star struck as though he was the cutest thing she had ever seen. Her face was flushed and she just kept smiling. It began to annoy me as I realized my bratty sister had a crush on him. It got even worse the way Ikuto reacted.

"Nice to meet you to." he replied smiling warmly and twisting a lock of her hair around his finger.

I frowned and grabbed his hand. "Well let's go!"

I gave one last glance to my mom who looked very upset by his presence, which made me happy. When we finally made it away from my house I sighed frustrated.

"Sorry about that…" I mumbled not wanting to look at him.

I heard him laugh softly. "Sorry for what?"

"For you having to meet my family." I could hear the bitterness in my voice still. I pulled my hand away when I realized I was still holding it and looked away.

He stopped and yanked me around to face him. He held my face in his hands and made me look at him.

"Stop avoiding me. It wasn't the worst experience I've had." he laughed stroking my cheek. "Your sister seems sweet though." he said teasing.

"She's like a demon seed…" I mumbled rolling my eyes. He laughed then pushed my cheeks together. I jerked away from him laughing my mood suddenly lighting. He always has this effect on me…and I liked it. He poked my forehead and I playfully smacked his hand away laughing.

"Stop." I halfheartedly told him.

"Aw look your smiling." he laughed as he continued to poke me. I grabbed his hands laughing and looked into his eyes. I started to blush when I realized how close his face was to mine. He started to move closer and I closed my eyes. This was it! My heart was beating so fast I could hear it in my ears.

Our lips almost met when my phone rang loudly. I jumped and let go of his hands wanting to destroy my phone at the moment. Sighing I reached into my pocket digging my phone while Ikuto looked at me smirking. I playfully pushed him away as I answered the phone.

"Hello." I laughed into the phone.

"Hey Amu…its Tadase."

My heart stopped. I was at a loss for words and I didn't know why I just hoped he wasn't asking me out.

"Well I was just wondering…if you weren't busy…"

Oh great…

"Would you like to go out to lunch with us? Everyone's coming and they wanted to know if you could go." he asked nervously.

"Yea right Tadase! You know you wanted her to go!" I heard Kukai yell in the background.

"Shut up man!" he replied. "Sorry Amu I mean I do want you to come but ya know…"

"Yea it's cool but im kinda busy so another time ok? Thanks for inviting me though. Tell everyone I said hi." I tried to sound as convincing as possible. I just wanted to get off the phone and back to Ikuto.

"Oh ok, no problem. See you at school then." he sounded a little disappointed which made me feel bad but I was busy….

"Yea see you at school. Bye."

After he said bye I hung up the phone sighing. Today was just a little too stressful. I looked over at Ikuto who was leaning against a pole looking bored. He looked over at me and smirked.

"Who was that, your boyfriend?"

"Yea right." I laughed.

We started walking again and even though I had no idea where we were going, I didn't care. I was still and little flushed from out near kissing incident and a little mad at Tadase for ruining it.

Sighing I finally decided to ask. "Will you play your violin for me today? Pretty please? With a type of cherry?" I asked crossing my arms.

He laughed and looked down at me. "Well one how many types of cherries are there?"

I laughed and looked up at him. "I don't know. Well there are Maraschino cherries."

"I don't like cherries." he mumbled.

"Then why would you ask?"

"I don't know." he laughed.

"Stop changing the subject." I told him rolling my eyes.

"Not yet. It's better at night."

"How?" I asked frustrated. I wanted him to play for me so bad.

"Its more magical." he replied making sparkle fingers. He looked down at me and smirked at my obviously disappointed face. I sighed and kept walking just happy to be with him. I could feel the butterflies in my stomach as we walked to our unknown destination.

"Where are we going anyway?" I asked smiling.

"Here." he grabbed my hand and pulled me into an ice cream shop.

I laughed holding his hand tighter. I never wanted to let it go…

"Did you originally plan to come here?" I asked.

"No not really. I wanted to be spontaneous." he said laughing.

He looked at the cashier trying to decide. "Hm I'll have chocolate. What about you?" he asked pointing at me.

"Um vanilla?" I hadn't eaten ice cream in a long time and realized I had forgotten my favorite flavor. Hopefully vanilla was right.

He reached in his pocket and pulled out a 10 before the cashier could even ring it up. "Don't say anything." he said putting his finger up to my lips. I laughed and looked down as my face started to redden. The cashier handed out ice cream to us and we turned to leave, not before he got a comment in.

"You two make a cute couple."

"Um…" I didn't know what to say but Ikuto cut me off.

"Thanks. Isn't she the cutest." he said teasing. I laughed an looked down as we left the store.

"Us a couple?" I asked wanting it to be true.

"Yea well it would have been harder to deny it." he said shrugging.

"Its ok…I don't mind." I replied licking my ice cream.

He laughed and began to lick his ice cream.

"I thought you would have gotten strawberry." he teased.

"Wow how original." I teased back laughing.

We continued to walk and eat our ice cream. I was enjoying mine and discovered I had a long lost love for ice cream.

"Hmm…" I heard Ikuto say.

"What?" I asked looking up.

"I'm out of ice cream and I don't really like chocolate."

"Then why did you get it?" I asked laughing returning to mine.

"I don't know" he said shrugging before he leaned over and licked mine.

"Yours tastes better." he said smirking.

"Stop its mine." I complained not really upset. My face started to turn red as I realized we just indirectly kissed. I finished the rest of it and grabbed his hand as we continued to walk.

"Where to now?" I asked bursting with joy. Being with him always made me happy. Everything was going great until I heard her voice…

"Amu!" Yaya yelled. I gasped and yanked my hand away from his shocked. Turning around I tried to plaster on a smile and act like nothing was happening.

"Heeeey!" I waved.

I looked over at Tadase who looks at me shocked then to Ikuto. He began to glare when he saw Ikuto. I looked at Ikuto who was smirking with his hands in his jacket pockets.

"What's up cousin?" he asked bored.

My mouth fell open and I realized that I had just ran into a terrible situation because it didn't seem that they liked each other to much.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>_ So what did you think? I really hope you enjoyed it. I haven't written in such a long time I was worried that I may have lost my thundaah lol. Anyway, write me a review and give me your opinion. Until next time~_

~MewRaven94


	11. Chapter 10

**AN: **_Thank you so much for all the reviews! I'm so glad you all are enjoying this story as much as I enjoy writing it. A lot has been going on and I thank you for your continued patience and not giving up on me. I feel like I become a better writer the more I write. I have a little surprise for you all by the way. So, without further ado here's Chapter 10. I hope you enjoy =)_

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><p><span>Chapter 10<span>

I stood there opened mouthed as I took in the intensity of the situation. I didn't know where to begin and I had no idea where it would end. I continued to look around at all the surprised faces and met the shared expressions of Yaya and Rima who appeared behind her.

Kukai stood shaking his head and I waited for someone to say something, anything. I was desperate for the silence to end but I didn't know where to begin. I was still processing thought when I felt the gentle touch of a finger under my chin. It pushed my mouth closed and snapped me out of my shock.

I turned to look at Ikuto who glanced at me with a bored expression.

"Sorry, I didn't want bugs to nest."

"Um…" was all I could manage to sputter. I looked back and forth between him and Tadase as he continued glare while Ikuto stood unconcerned.

Finally Yaya broke the silence.

"Hey! So anyway what are you doing out Amu?" she tried to look as happy as possible and ignore the awkward occasion. It was the wrong question though…

"Um…nothing I was just…" I still couldn't find the words.

"Its ok, tell them. There's no reason to be nervous." I looked over at Ikuto who was leaning on a nearby tree with his arms crossed.

"She can talk for herself!" Tadase suddenly shouted. I had never seen him so angry and it took me by surprise. I gasped and looked down.

"Hey lets not fight." Yaya pleaded. "Its ok Amu we understand. You don't need to explain anything, right Rima?"

I glanced at Rima who was engrossed in the drama obviously soaking it up barely paying attention to anything else. It wasn't until Yaya elbowed her did she actually respond.

"Uh yea! It's no problem. We understand. So let's all get along and…ya know." It was such a half hearted attempt to stop anything that I almost started to sarcastically thank her, but Ikuto beat me to it.

"Wow some attempt that was. That's what you call triumph of the human spirit." he laughed still looking unconcerned.

Rima glared at him in return.

"Don't pick on my friends you thief!" Tadase shouted.

"Thief? How long are you going to stick to that, cousin?" Ikuto replied. He continued smirking. "If you keep glaring at me then I might just have to take a picture for you and send it to you."

He was taking this all as a joke only baiting Tadase to say more.

"As long as I see you as one! You're just a waste of space and I don't know why Amu would want to have anything to do with you. But I figure it's only because she doesn't really know about you! You're just a liar and a thief!" He shouted back at Ikuto clearly enraged.

I started to say something but I had no voice. Nothing would come out as any kind of noise.

"Sounds like jealousy to. You seem to know her so well so why doesn't she hang out with you? It's her choice who she wants to hang out with anyway. There's nothing for you to try to understand. It seems you haven't grown up at all. Your still stuck under you mothers wing."

Ikuto began to shake his head and laugh. He closed his eyes clearly bored of the situation.

"You know nothing about us!" Tadase began to shout louder while Ikuto still stood there unconcerned.

"Oh I know more about you all than you think. Its you who are in the dark about everything. You only believe what you're told. That's why you will always be blind little prince." he opened his eyes to look at Tadase who was at a loss for words.

"Hm can't find anything to say?" he sighed then closed his eyes again. "Your boring and you call me a waste of space." he mumbled.

Something in me finally snapped. Just as Tadase was about to reply I found my voice.

"STOP BOTH OF YOU!"

They all looked at me in shock, even Ikuto who wasn't concerned with the situation two seconds ago.

I realized I was breathing hard. I was so tired of all the drama and stress my day seemed to be filled with.

"It doesn't matter what you think about each other! That doesn't keep me from being friends with either of you! Yes I don't know much about him, but I don't know much about you either Tadase! None of that matters though right now!"

The words began to flow from me as I unleashed all my anger.

"It doesn't change the fact that you two are my friends! The point of being friends is to learn about each other! I came out to have a good day and this isn't a good day! Forget all this arguing! No matter what you two say about each other it won't change how I feel, so STOP!"

I glanced at Ikuto and saw hurt in his eyes for a brief second but it disappeared and was replaced with the same apathy he had earlier.

"I'm really sorry Amu…" Tadase mumbled.

I sighed and looked at him apologetically. "Its fine…I'm not mad at anyone, im just frustrated. Sorry if I flaked on you guys I just wanted to hang out with Ikuto."

Yaya met me with understanding eyes as she nodded. Rima looked at me apologetically and nodded. Kukai and Nagihiko looked confused on how to react to the situation but still nodded.

Yaya ran up to me and gave me a tight hug smiling as cheerfully as she could. I was surprised but I hugged her back.

"It's fine Amu. We understand. If you need to talk you can always text me or anything."

I smiled back at her genuinely thankful. She really was a good friend and I could see myself in the future confiding in her.

"Well let's go and make the rest of our day fun. See you at school Amu!" Yaya waved at me before grabbing Tadase's and Kukai's arm and dragging them off in the opposite direction. Rima half heartedly waved at me looking ashamed before grabbing her boyfriends hand and following Yaya.

Tadase gave me one last pained look before focusing on where Yaya was pulling him. I waved at them stress covering my face.

I looked over at Ikuto who stood in the same position with his eyes closed. I walked up to him and gently pulled his sleeve unsure of his feelings. He opened his eyes and took my hand pulling me in the opposite direction.

We walked quietly holding hands. I didn't know where to begin but I didn't like the silence. Finally when it was too much for me I blurted out the first thing on my mind.

"If you need to talk to me about anything…" I looked down as I spoke, not wanting to meet his gaze. He seemed so mysterious to me and it was true that I knew nothing about him. I just knew he wasn't a bad person though…he couldn't be.

"Not really." he sighed and shrugged.

I didn't like the feeling of being kept out. I wanted to know him and it hurt to know he wouldn't let me in. I was about to say something else when he reached in his pocket and pulled out his phone.

He flipped it open and sighed. "Sorry I need to go. There's something I need to do. I can't walk you home, I'll see you later though or I'll text you." he let go of my hand and waved as he walked away.

I stood on the sidewalk hurt and confused. I didn't want to go home and be alone…I even considered calling Yaya and meeting up with them, but I knew it would be too awkward.

I finally decided to walk home…alone. As I walked I though of nothing at all. It was like I was moving robotically and nothing that happened registered in my mind. I felt like I was falling apart and its not till I walked through the door of my "home" did the emotions hit me.

I stood in the doorway and looked around at the empty house and began to cry. I wanted to escape the stress but it only added to more…

Tears streamed down my face as I slowly made my way up to my room never having felt so alone. I slammed my door and flopped on my bed. I wrapped my arms around my legs and cried.

My head began to hurt and I closed my eyes trying to calm myself and not think of the old habit of cutting. My mind yearned for the stress relieving pain, but I knew I shouldn't do it. Just then my phone began to vibrate.

I quickly yanked it out hoping it was Ikuto but was disappointed to a text from Tadase.

Tadase: Sorry about earlier. If you need anyone to talk to I'm here for you.

I laughed and threw my phone down on the beg and hugged my legs even tighter as I shook my head. I didn't realize when I had fallen asleep until the nightmares began.

_I was little again sitting in a hospital waiting room. I looked around at the solemn faces and the tear stained face of my mother as she talked to the doctor. _

"_Tell me please! How's my husband! Tell me something!" She screamed in agony. _

_The doctor closed his eyes with a pained expression and shook his head. "I'm sorry Mrs. Hinamori…he…he didn't make it." _

"_What?" my mother shouted in disbelief. "Don't lie to me!" she screamed grabbing the doctor's shoulders. _

_I stood there shaking, screaming in my head. I was begging for the dream to end but it wouldn't. It just kept playing through like it always did. I knew how it ended…_

"_Mrs. Hinamori…I'm sorry. Your husband didn't make it. He's…dead." the doctor struggled to say the word. _

_My mother shook her head suddenly looking so tired. "No…No…NO!" she buried her face in her hands and fell to her knees crying. _

_I shook my head not believing anything. "No! You're lying! Papa is fine! He's fine! He told me yesterday! You're lying!" I began to scream. I began to run and scream for my father who I knew wasn't there. _

_The room dropped out into blackness and I began to fall. I cried as I saw the bottom approach me faster and I closed my eyes and waited for the end. _

I was startled awake by someone shaking me and yelling my name.

"Amu! Please Amu wake up! It's ok! Wake up!" the person yelled as they shook me awake.

"NO!" I screamed panting and shaking. I met the eyes of Ikuto whose face was covered in fear and worry.

I gently touched his face not believing it was really him. "Ikuto…" I mumbled hoarsely.

He nodded and pulled me to him, hugging me tightly. I wrapped my arms around him to return the hug and began to cry. He was there to save me again…

Pulling me away he gently wiped the tears from my eyes and stroked my cheek.

"You really shouldn't leave your window open. You're basically asking someone to steal everything in your room." he tried to laugh as he said it but the worry on his face dulled the effect of his sarcasm.

I smiled a little and rested my head on his shoulder exhausted even though I had just woken up. He wrapped his arms around me and held me.

"I'm really sorry about earlier. I was acting like jerk after that whole argument. I shouldn't have left you alone. I wanted to make it up to you so I came to see you but you were having some nightmare and I panicked." his breathing began to slow and I smiled as I realized the concern he truly felt for me.

"Its ok, I accept. I understand. Thank you so much for saving me again." I mumbled still resting my head on his shoulder.

"I saved you?"

I laughed and sat up. "Yea. You have ever since I met you. You were always there when I needed you." I smiled at him and poked his forehead.

He smiled and looked away. I could tell that I had truly caught him off guard wrenching my way past his sarcastic personality.

"Sorry I made you worry by the way…its nothing abnormal for me to have nightmares." I looked down sheepishly as I spoke.

"You didn't have any the night I was here." he looked at me hard once again concerned.

"I usually don't if I've been around you. They just don't come." I felt embarrassed admitting this to him.

He put his hand on my head and I glanced up to his usual smirk, the smirk that I loved. "I'm glad I can be of some help."

"I hate to ask this…but what was all that about earlier with Tadase?" I refused to let him push this aside. I had to know more about him. I was to far in love with him…

"An old family issue…its nothing really." As always he shrugged it off.

I sighed and looked down. "You know Ikuto…I know hardly anything about you. You're so mysterious to me and I don't mean to be nosy, but I want to be able to be there for you also just like you have been for me."

He nodded and looked saddened. "I just didn't want to bother you with it all…but if you insist I'll tell you more about myself. Not everything, it depends on how you react." he teased.

"Why? Are you afraid of me not liking you?"

He stared at me for a long time before he smirked and shrugged. "Don't worry about it right now. I'll tell you a little bit, but my main reason for coming was to cheer you up. Now let's go create more rebellion." He grabbed my hand and pulled me off the bed smiling.

"Where we going?" I asked smiling.

"Someplace magical."

"Disney World?" I asked laughing.

"That place isn't magical." he replied as he picked up a bag off my windowsill. He began climbing out of my window and I followed him not letting go of the Disney World discussion.

When we made it out of the tree and poked him. "Yes it is."

"Well when Mickey starts to fly then let me know." He took my hand and started laughing.

"You can't fly either." I laughed as we walked down the sidewalk.

"How do you know?" he teased.

"Well show me then."

"I'm about to." I didn't realize it but he had led me to the park where we met.

He pulled me over to the bench where we met. The air was cool with a gentle breeze blowing. The moon shown brightly, just like the night we met.

He sat on the bench and pulled me down with him.

"Well here we go. Where to start…" he thought hard for a minute.

"Who do you live with? You said you lived with your aunt. Is that Tadase's mom?" I asked trying to help him find a place to start.

"I don't live with anyone. I live alone. And yes that aunt is his mom."

"Why?" I asked sad.

"Well remember when I told you that my parents died? She was the one I was supposed to live with, and I did. For a long time…but it was to much so when I turned 16 I left."

I looked down realizing the hard time he must have had. I didn't want to press anymore answers from him so I let him talk.

"After the car accident I had to live with my aunt, but my parents left behind a huge debt that didn't get paid. So it all transferred to me which fell on my aunt who was taking care of me. To sum it all up she hated me for it and treated me like dirt. She hated my parents for leaving behind two responsibilities when in reality she just didn't grieve well. So my life was basically hell until I left."

I didn't want to know anymore at the moment. He was right, there was too much of it for one person who was already fragile to handle all at once. We were alike in some ways and that's what drew us together. He was always there to save me but I was never there to save him and I felt like I was too late.

"Stop crying." he mumbled looking at me sadly.

I wiped the tears away having not realized it. "I'm sorry…I just wish I could be there for you like you are for me."

He laughed and stood up. "You have been there for me, more than you've realized."

He grabbed his violin out of its case and winked at me. "Now let me cheer you up."

I sat mesmerized as he began to play. It was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. Each note flowed evenly and came out in such a clear and perfect noise. I felt like I was watching a master at work. I closed my eyes and listened to each note as the song played for what seemed like forever. The song was sad yet happy in a way that couldn't be explained…only felt.

When it was over I opened my eyes sadly wishing it could have played forever. I was so mesmerized and in such awe that I didn't know what to say.

"Surprise." he told me smiling and he sat his violin down. "Happy?"

I bolted from the bench and hugged him. My own reaction shocked me, but it was the only way I could think to react. Thankfully he wrapped his arms around me and mumbled "Your welcome Princess."

I pulled away and looked at him. I felt like time had stopped as we stood so close to one another. Neither of us moved and I wondered if we were even breathing. He suddenly took my face in his hands and I moved closer to him, our bodies touching. I closed my eyes as his face moved closer to mine until our lips finally met.

He kissed me so gently and I felt the blood rush to my face but I didn't move away. Instead I wrapped my arms around his neck and we mutually kissed again, but deeply this time. He wrapped me in his arm as we unleashed all the tension of our love into each other.

We kissed in the moonlight and I prayed with all my might that god would stop time and never let it start again.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_Finally! They kissed! You know it was actually kind of hard writing that scene considering ive never had my first kiss, so I hope it turned out romantically innocent enough. So what did you think? Did you like it? The violin song was the one he plays in the show, you know. I can't think of the name but I love it! I put all my feeling into this chapter and I had a lot of fun writing it so I hope you enjoyed. Well write me a review and give me your opinion. Until Next Time!~ _

_~MewRaven94_


	12. Chapter 11

**AN: **_Its been a long time…there are so many reasons I haven't written in awhile, but I would just be making excuses by telling you haha! Anyways, I'm glad to know that people still like this story and new people have found and read it since it has inspired me to continue to write this to the end. Sorry for any inconvenience. So without further ado here is Chapter 11. I hope you enjoy~_

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><p><span>Chapter 11<span>

_My world…it's in a daze. There are so many emotions and feelings swirling around that I cant comprehend. Its like so many pent up feelings finally having a voice…I can actually breath now. I can feel the shared feelings for each other…they are so strong…and to be honest…it scares me…_

I felt like I was kissing him for hours and that any second the sun would come up, but not even that would stop us. Maybe god had answered my prayer and stopped time for me…even though I knew that was impossible I couldn't feel anything other than him so it seemed possible. All good things must come to an end though.

He gently pulled away from me and I opened my eyes to take in the surrounding area for just the first time. Everything looked so new to me, as though I had never seen a park before. Was this what love did to you? I hadn't noticed that I was clutching onto his shirt as though I was about to fall until he laughed and I looked at him. I stared into his beautiful dark blue eyes and saw sadness…

"Wha…" I started to say something when he pulled me into a hug. Usually I would have felt ecstatic to hug him…but I could feel sadness behind it. I was so confused…was it all a mistake? I couldn't find the words to start, but gladly I didn't have to since he started for me.

"How do you feel?" Ikuto asked gently pulling away. He caressed my cheek and stared at me with a smirk that only he could create, but I could see the sadness in his eyes even still.

"I'm…I don't know…I'm ok." I stammered managing to smile.

"You don't look very sure." He chuckled.

"Well…I don't know. Its my first serious kiss…how am I supposed to feel? I mean I know how I feel…I just…" I couldn't find the words to describe it and I didn't know why. I grabbed his hand from my face and intertwined our fingers together, not wanting to meet his gaze.

"I understand…" he mumbled.

I looked back up quickly thinking that my words had hurt him. "No, Ikuto. I don't mean it like that. I just…" he put his finger over my mouth to stop me.

"No, I really do understand." he smiled at me sadly and I could feel my stomach twist into knots.

"I'm sorry for kissing you." I let go of his hand and stepped back.

"Wait, wha…" he moved forward and stopped me again.

"Let me finish…I don't mean that I'm sorry for actually kissing you. I don't regret it by any means. I mean I'm sorry for doing it to soon…See, I cant have you yet. There…there's to much in our lives right now for me to give myself to you completely or for me to have you." he gently cupped my face in his hands as he said this.

I nodded. I understood what he meant…to much in my life and to much in his. I didn't even know his whole family situation and he didn't want to bring me in the middle of it. Not just yet, at least.

"I don't want to bring you into anymore problems. I want to save you from all of them, so I don't want to start something that will only make it harder for you. Don't worry though. I'd be a very bad kitty if I didn't make you happy." he smiled and poked my cheek. This was his usual way of teasing me and I could feel my face turn a little red.

I understood what he meant and I wanted to be mature about it, but it's so hard to be mature when you feel this way about someone…it takes all reason from you eyes. I sighed and put on my best smile blinking back tears that I didn't know had formed.

"I think I should take you home now." he said stretching.

I was sad…but not really sad. He had saved me again and that's all I needed. He wanted to save me even more and take me away from it all which made me feel relieved…I actually had someone that cared about me. I grabbed his hand as we walked, trying to soak up every minute I had with him. Thankfully, he intertwined our fingers and held tighter.

I felt my irritation rise as we neared closer to my house. I really didn't want to go back home where I felt so alone. I felt as though I had a place with him, like I actually mattered and I didn't want it to end so quickly. I guess feelings like love really are tortuous…

When I finally saw my house my heart literally stopped and then fell to my feet which then made it very hard to walk since I ultimately stopped walking. Everything started going in slow motion in my mind like in some movie scene. My parents were home.

It wouldn't have been such a problem if I was alone but since Ikuto was with me…

He stepped in front of me and waved his hands in my face trying to get my attention. "Hello? I was wondering if Amu was around. Im trying to take her home but it seems she I don't know, forgot how to walk." he started laughing when I gave him my usual cynical look and huffed with frustration.

I pushed him to the side and pointed at my house. "No my parents are home. Do you know what that means?"

He shrugged looking uninterested. "No midnight cuddle on your porch?"

I blushed when he said that but kept my attitude in tact. "No it means that shit just got real!"

He busted out laughing when I said that but I was entirely serious.

"Its not funny! My parents are jerks! I really don't want them to meet you!" It was hard to keep my attitude with him laughing in his alluring voice.

"Well I didn't plan on going to watch tv with you in your living room or anything. I'll just take you to the door." he was still laughing but made some effort to control it.

I sighed and shook my head. Why was I so worried…its not like they really cared what I did anyway but I felt like for some reason this would make them care.

"Fine…" I mumbled finally giving in.

"Ok now smile and tell me im pretty." he laughed dodging me as I tried to smack his arm.

I grabbed his arm and rested my head on it smiling to myself. I would make this happiness last for as long as I could, parents or not. We walked slowly to my porch, me painfully taking each step and him smirking as we took them.

I stepped on my porch hesitantly staring at the porch light wishing it would burn out from the glare I was giving it. He laughed and I turned to face him with a sad smile. I didn't want him to go…

"Don't look so sad princess." he started twirling a strand of my hair around his finger. I grabbed his hand intertwining our fingers and tried to smile. This is where we said goodbye until he randomly showed up again….

He leaned in to kiss me and I closed my eyes waiting for our lips to meet when I heard the door open behind me. With my eyes wide I turned around to face my "mother" glaring at me.

She held the door open with one hand while the other one was positioned firmly on her hips. She glared at me then at Ikuto which sent a spark of annoyance through me.

"So this is where you have been? Playing floozy with this delinquent?" She motioned to Ikuto without even looking at him and I felt my anger grow even more. I started to object loudly, when Ikuto covered my mouth.

"Good evening Mrs. Hinamori. My name is Ikuto and I assure you I am not a delinquent. I was only bringing her back home. Im a friend of hers from school, well sorta." he was being so polite and it sickened me. This woman didn't deserve polite! Where was his usual sarcasm? That's the Ikuto I wanted at this moment.

"I know who you are Tsukiyomi. I made no mistake with my words." She continued to glare only this time switching her attention to him.

I looked up with shock finally reaching my peak of anger. "Why are you being so rude to him? How do you have any right to say anything about him?"

She laughed softly and closed her eyes. "You obviously know nothing about him…well that aside your past your curfew."

"Since when did I have a curfew!" I screamed back.

She had insulted someone who meant more to me than the entire house did. I looked up at Ikuto who had a solemn look on his face which only fueled my anger more.

"I don't know, since you have lived here? Lets not forget that you are grounded." She crossed her arms and continued to glare. I could see her anger beginning to rise and it was exactly what I wanted. I wanted to make her mad, more so than ever now.

"Wow, now that you've decided to care! Good job! Your so…" Ikuto cut me off before I could finish.

"I should be going. Sorry to trouble you Mrs. Hinamori. See you later Amu." He gave me a weak smile then started to walk away.

I reached out to grab his shirt trying to pull him back. "Wait Ikuto you don't have to go."

He turned to grab my hand with the same weak smile. "Goodnight Amu." I watched as he walked off, my heart heavier than ever. I blinked back the tears and turned to face my mother.

I pushed through my mother into the house before turning to face her. "That was totally uncalled for!"

"Now I see where you got your attitude from. Your not to see him anymore." I felt my mouth fall open as I looked at her in disbelief. She was trying to take away the last piece of happiness I had and I refused to let that happen.

"You cant make me stop seeing him! He hasn't done anything to me but made my life a little less hellish! He cares more about than you and my so called father do! You understand nothing!" I screamed at the top of my lungs while my eyes burned with tears.

"Stop yelling you will wake your sister." she said sternly.

"That's all your ever concerned about! Ami this, Ami that! What about me!" I said finally breaking down.

"Your acting like a child. Of course we are concerned about you and that's why you aren't to see him anymore. Im doing this for your own good and you will listen to me as long as you're my child."

How could she pretend to be so concerned now? She didn't care how bad I hurt inside and I could see it clearer now. I choked away my tears and glared at her.

"You don't know anything about me anymore. Im not your child, im just something you keep around. I will never stop seeing him no matter what you say! You wont take away the last bit of happiness I have in my life!" I stormed off without waiting for a response. I stomped up the steps hoping to wake everyone in the house with the satisfaction that I had won at this moment.

I threw myself on my bed after turning on my music. I crushed my pillow in a death hug and smiled at the song playing. The Only Exception by Paramore really fit how I felt at the moment. Everything else didn't matter to me. I was tired of thinking, I just wanted to float.

My phone started to vibrate and I jerked out of my position to grab it out of my pocket. I smiled at the screen when I saw his name.

_Ikuto: Sweet dreams, princess. _

I sighed and fell back into my bed laughing. It wasn't a dream. He really did care. Before I knew it I was asleep with sweet dreams of Ikuto's violin playing in my head.

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><p><strong>AN:<strong>_ Well there you have it! I hope you all liked it. It was well overdue and I just hope it turned out okay since I havent written anything in awhile. Once again sorry. I will try harder to update when I can. Please continue to be patient, I really do appreciate everyone that reads. So leave me a review and let me know what you think. Until Next Time!~_

_~MewRaven94_


	13. Chapter 12

**AN: **_I'm so glad you all still like this story. I wanted to try to update one last time before spring break ends since it might be awhile between updates. Thank you so much for the updates. They really keep me going. Anyways, I hope you all enjoy!~_

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><p><span>Chapter 12<span>

I woke up like a machine to a time relatively close to when I get up during the week for school. I sat up in my bed looking around my room, noticing all the things I forgot to do before I fell asleep (like change my clothes or turn off my light). I was in such a daze.

I stretched out of bed looking for my phone which had fallen on the floor in some crazy sleep attack I had. I opened it to check the date and time and realized I had school this morning since today was….Monday. The most dreaded day of the week.

"Oh my god! I'm so late!" I screamed throwing my phone on the bed. I refused to go to school without showering so as I looked through my closet for what I was going to wear I thought of everything I had to do this morning and everything I forgot to do last night.

Homework was a major one…but I usually didn't do it anyway.

"Pft…homework."

I could feel my heart beating faster as I realized just how late I was. My parents should have been gone by now so at least I wouldn't have to hear them or Ami's annoying voice. That's when it hit me.

"Why am I rushing…its not like I haven't been late before." I laughed and turned my music on turning it up loud as I got ready with no hurry.

I pulled my lace up converse on over my knee-high stockings that were pink and blacked striped like most of my clothes and shook my hair. I didn't feel like putting hair clips in and all the other annoying accessories. I was surprisingly tired even though I felt like id slept so hard that night.

Sighing I picked up my bag and jacket after inspecting my wrists for any visible cuts left over from my last episode.

"Well maybe just a couple bracelets…" I grabbed a couple of my best bracelets off the dresser and shoved them on my arm. The other ones farther up my arm could be hidden or simply mistaken for cat scratches…even though I didn't have a cat…

With my bag slung over my left shoulder and nonchalantly made my way down the stairs happy for the piece and quiet of an empty house.

"Might as well grab an apple at least…" I really didn't care about being late. My "parents" made no effort to wake me up either so why should I hurry. Laughing to myself I headed to the kitchen to grab an apple just when life decided to be a bitch…

Around the corner came my annoying little sister with a huge smirk on her face. She looked like she was ready to unleash the shit storm and I was its helpless victim. My head immediately started hurting before she even spoke her first words.

"So I heard you got in a lot of trouble last night." she teased in her sing-songy voice.

"Thanks for the update Sherlock." I decided to skip eating all together and head for the door, my day officially ruined.

"Shouldn't you be at school? You're already late. I should tell mommy, no wait she already knows. Your gonna be in such big trouble. No wonder you're doing so bad in school and you have no **real **friends. Who'd want to be friends with a bum like you?" She kept talking, hurling every thought that came to her head at me.

Containing my anger as best as I could I snapped letting only a little of the storm I could produce erupt. "Shouldn't you be at school or at least anywhere that's not here? You think you know everything while in reality you just a spoiled little brat who has nothing better to do cause no one really like you! No what else? The reason why no one takes you swimming is because no one likes you!"

It didn't take much to hurt a little kid like her and it worked better than I wanted. Tears welled up in her eyes and she began sniffling while she tried to hang onto her anger.

"Oh yea, well…"

I started laughing watching her struggle to return with a better insult. "Awww, is baby gonna cry?"

I felt so empowered as I headed for the door. "So stupid…" I mumbled with a sneer on my face. I could hear Ami crying behind me and I only felt an ounce of guilt as I remembered how this would have turned out when we were younger.

Back before my sister was a brat; when she was still an angel, if she had of cried like this I would have been the first one there to comfort her. I felt the pain of the past began to creep out and I shoved it away before it could reduce to me tears.

I almost made it on the porch when I heard a man clear his throat behind me. Something told me to ignore it but sadly I turned around. Daichi stood in the living room stroking Ami's head giving me a disappointed glare.

"What?" As if I really cared what he thought…

"Your mom wants to see you. I don't even want to get started with you on this." he said motioning towards Ami who was looking down and sniffling.

I dropped my bag and sighed as I strode towards my "mothers" room. "Whatever…" Out of the corner of my eye I saw him shake his head in my direction.

I crossed my arms as I entered my "parents" room. The walls were still the color they were before my dad had died and it made me a little nostalgic. I looked around at all the other things that had replaced my dad and rolled my eyes disgusted.

My mom sat on the end of the bed with her legs crossed. She looked so stiff in her business outfit as she glared at me. I was a little intimidated but I held my ground.

"Don't you know I'm late for school?" I wanted to leave as soon as possible out of this hell house.

"I don't want to hear that. You've made no rushed effort to get to school. I know what you've been doing…taking your time. I'm so disappointed in you Amu."

"What is it this time?" When wasn't she disappointed…?

"Everything. That little stunt you pulled last night with that delinq-"

"Don't call him that! His name is Ikuto!" I hated when she called him a delinquent. He was nobler then she knew…in my eyes at least.

"I'm well aware of what his name is! And don't interrupt me again!" she yelled back at me with such force that I actually was shocked.

"I'm not going to argue with you! You will not see him anymore! Also you're grounded again! There is no leniency this time! I gave you a chance to repent and had some type of hope in you but now you go and do this!" She was really starting to make my blood boil now. I clenched my fists fuming.

"You act like what I did was so bad! You knew I was leaving with him! Just because I stayed out a little bit past this "curfew" you suddenly decided to give me without telling me the time doesn't mean it's the end of the world! And besides it's not like you tried to wake me up to make sure I got to school!"

She laughed and stood up with her arms crossed. "Oh so now you have to be babied? It's not my responsibility to make sure you wake up on time for school! I have other things to be doing this morning! Did you not take any notice of how you sister is not in school right now! That's because I had to make time to talk to you! You're just so selfish anymore Amu…"

I felt my anger rise to immense levels as I screamed back. "That's all you ever think about! I'm not being selfish; my problems just don't matter to you!"

"Stop being so overdramatic Amu! The world doesn't revolve around you! You are not to see that boy anymore and that is final!"

I laughed even with so much rage coursing through me. "No it doesn't since it obviously orbits Ami's gigantic ego!"

I was done arguing with her. I stomped off not even caring if she was done talking to me or not. I heard her calling for me but I didn't give it a second thought. Even Daichi tried to stop me.

"Amu! Your mother isn't done talking to you!"

"I'm late for school…save it." I slammed the door behind me and stormed off into the street. I didn't notice how fast I was walking until I noticed I was halfway to school. My mind was completely quiet without any thought, but my hurt was burning with so much pain.

I stopped walking to catch my breath so frustrated and confused. I didn't know what to do but I knew school was not in my forecast anymore. I couldn't take anymore yelling. I would just snap if I heard one more person yell at me over anything.

_Ikuto…_

With wide eyes I pulled my phone out and flipped to his number. I stood there with hesitation and finally decided to call him.

The phone rang for what seemed like forever before he finally answered.

"Hm…what's up princess?" he sounded drowsy like he had just woken up.

I reluctantly continued. "Hey…um, you up for a little youthful rebellion?"

"Feeling all angstey right now?" I could hear him snicker through the phone as I imagined his sexy smirk. My heart jumped and I shook my head trying to focus.

"Yea…sorta. I just don't want to go to school today…mind entertaining me?" I was hoping he wouldn't ask why.

After a pause I heard him yawn followed by an alluring laugh. "Sounds like my field of expertise. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"The park." I blurted it without a second thought. I moaned on the inside at my choice. Couldn't I have chosen another place?

"Sure. You sure you want to rebel today?" I could hear him laughing again which calmed me.

"Yea, besides I forgot my bag." I started laughing then at the thought. I would never make it through a school day. I just wanted to forget everything and I knew he could melt all my fears and anxieties.

"Good job. Give me 5 minutes. Go wait for me. Cya." I was already making my way there before he hung up. I couldn't walk any faster to the park…our first meeting place.

* * *

><p>The park was empty and I was so thankful as I sighed from exhaustion and collapsed on the bench. All that arguing had exhausted me more than I realized, after all I was already tired.<p>

I sat looking at the park which brought back so many memories that I didn't really want to see. I closed my eyes and let myself drift away while I waited for Ikuto to come.

"_Daddy! Daddy! Wait for me!" _

_I was panting as I ran after my father. _

"_Run faster Amu or I'll escape." I laughed as I tried to run faster. _

"_Wait daddy! You're going too far! I can't catch up!" I started to panic. _

"_Amu I'm right here! You're so close…" I could no longer hear him as he ran farther from me. _

_The world around me fell into blackness. I was 7 again trying to reach him in vain. I kept reaching out into the darkness grabbing nothing. I could still see him but I couldn't hear him. _

"_Daddy wait! Wait!" I cried as I kept running, panting harder. Suddenly I began to fall into nothingness. _

I was gasping for air and felt someone pull me into a hug.

"It's ok. Sorry I took so long." It was the familiar voice of someone so important to me.

"Ikuto…" He let me go and I looked into his dark blue eyes which were filled with worry.

I stood up trying to convince him with a laugh that I was ok. "I'm just kinda tired. A lot happened this morning. So how are you gonna entertain me?" I asked all flirty.

"Mmm…" He just kept staring at me which made me blush. I began to feel nervous until he finally closed his eyes and stood up.

"What do you want to do?" he asked obviously amused entertained by my attempt to flirt.

I shrugged not really knowing when something struck me. "What's your house like?"

"You want me to entertain you at my house?" he raised his eyebrow and gave me his usual smirk.

"Not like that you pervert!" I backed away from him as my face began to blush.

He wrapped his arms around my neck and bit my ear lightly.

"Eeeek!" I pushed him away even though I liked it…

"I said not like that! Let's do something that doesn't involve molesting me!"

"Hm everything else seems boring…" he mumbled.

I shot an evil glare at him and he raised his hands laughing. "I'm only kidding. Come on, I'll take you to my house and not molest you unless you ask."

I smacked his arm and started laughing. Grabbing my hand he led me on a wild journey to his house.

* * *

><p>It wasn't that far from the park but it was at least a 10 or 15 minute walk which left me even more exhausted by that time we made it to his house. He lived in this beautiful condo complex or whatever you called it. Beautifully decorated with an assortment of flowers and bushes all the same size. It felt so fancy and high class and I looked at him feeling bad.<p>

"You thought I lived in some bum apartments where they would steal the shoes off your feet didn't you?"

"No…" I lied. He laughed and walked into the complex. The lobby was amazing and had a doorman who greeted us when we both walked in. He led me to the elevator (yea elevator!) and we rode it to the 4th floor which was as high as it went.

"Wow you live on the highest floor? That is not surprising…" I started laughing as I thought about it more. "Ha ha…you and your cat jokes." I saw a smirk form on his face and a poked him.

His apartment was the 3rd door and he kicked it open having not even shut or locked it. I guess this wasn't a place you worried about break-ins at…but he should still be more careful.

"Welcome home."

I stood open mouthed in his doorway in total disbelief. "Thi…this is really your house?"

"Yes and no, but mainly yes." he kicked off his boots and stretched as he walked around the corner.

"Are you just going to stand there and let bugs nest in your mouth or are you going to come in?"

"Sorry, it's just so amazing." I slowly walked into his house looking at every detail. His walls were so perfectly painted and matched the living room chairs which were solid white. There was an elegant little coffee table across from a huge TV that was guarded by two beautiful house plants on either side.

Adjacent to the living room was the dining room/kitchen. Everything was just so overwhelming and bright. I looked at him with a huge smile on my face.

"I love your house!" I walked over to the couch where he was sitting, watching me like a cat.

"Thanks" he softly laughed. "Not really my taste though…"

I raised my eyebrow confused. How could he not like the place he decorated?

"Are you hungry?" he asked stretching as he walked into the kitchen.

"Your gonna order them to bring us food?" I was so excited.

"This isn't a hotel. I'll make you French Toast. I love French Toast." I watched him as he walked into the kitchen and pulled out everything he was going to cook with.

"Want me to help?"

"No, it's my turn to cook for you." he winked at me which made me blush.

I blushed and walked around his house. "Don't get lost."

"Shut up." I started laughing at his usual teasing ways as I ventured around his house. I was really looking for his room which wasn't that hard to find. One door opened to the bathroom and the other one was locked which puzzled me but I went to the last door at the end of the little hallway.

I walked into Ikuto's room which felt so relaxing. His walls were painted dark blue with a matching carpet. His furniture was all black and his bed looked like the softest bed in the world. The pillows looked and felt amazingly expensive and his covers felt like the softest material I had ever felt. I walked out the sliding door which led onto a balcony with a view of as far as the eye could see.

I looked down at the pool that was sparkling from the sunlight and wished I lived here by myself for at least a day. It was like a dream. I turned around when I heard his soft laughter.

"Time to eat. We'll come back in here if you want. This area is more of my taste."

"It's so nice in here." I kept looking around and he had to grab my hand and lead me back into the kitchen.

"Eat." he ordered.

I sat down looking at my delicious entrée and dug in. I was so hungry and so good. I didn't even talk as I ate. I sat there in silence eating while he watched me.

"Where's yours? Are you not gonna eat?" I finally asked between a bite.

He laid his chin on his arms and smiled. "I already ate. I wake up really early, eat, then go back to sleep."

I laughed at this little quirk and continued eating. When I was finished I gathered my dishes and walked to his kitchen. "Let me wash the dishes at least. You go wait for me somewhere where I won't get lost." I gave him a look that made him put his hands up and laugh while he walked away.

He seemed really tired which worried me…but then again so was I.

I quickly washed the dishes and skipped to his room excitedly. I gently pushed his room door open and saw him sprawled out on his bed with his jacket he usually wore on the floor. I looked around his room one last time and saw a picture of him as a child with two other people. His parents…

His mother was so beautiful and had the most loving expression. She was holding an Ikuto who had the brightest expression on his face which made me smile. He looked just like his father with his dark blue eyes and hair.

I frowned thinking of how he lost both of them. Walking over to his bed I sighed. I lay down beside him after he moved over and faced his ceiling.

He grabbed me snuggling me as he lay with his eyes closed.

"Why do you always do this with me when you sleep?" I wasn't really bothered…

"Why do you always complain like it bothers you?" he mumbled.

"Do you live here alone?" The locked door had me puzzled.

"No…kinda. I live with my cousin Utau."

"Wait? Utau the big pop star is your cousin?" I was so shocked. That meant that she was Tadase's sister.

"Yep. She begged me to come live here with her even though she's never here. Then when she goes on the road she makes me come visit her and spend time and blah blah blah…that's where I was on my "vacation" more like a headache…" he was mumbling everything he said and I knew he was sleepy I just couldn't stop asking the questions.

So that's who that "she" was…it was a major relief to know she was only his cousin. A superstar cousin! With my mind at ease on the possibility of him being some play boy I continued questioning him.

"Why does my mom keep calling you a delinquent? And how does she know you?" Finally an opportunity to ask all the questions I could.

"Oh…your mom knows my aunt. My family claims I stole precious jewelry from them that actually was left to me by my parents when they died. That's why my aunt hates me even more now. She went around telling everyone how I was no good and now that's what people believe. Except for Utau which is why they don't get along…"

I snuggled closer to him feeling tired myself the more he talked. His voice was so soothing. "That's terrible…"

"Anymore questions?" he asked teasingly.

"Not really…I'm just beginning…" I couldn't think of any other question to ask because my mind started to drift away. I snuggled closer to Ikuto, happy to be in his embrace falling asleep next to the man I…loved.

* * *

><p>I woke up after a deep and comfortable sleep feeling more awake then I had in a long time. He could always do that to me and it made my heart flutter to think about it. I gently and quietly made my way out of his hug and sat on his bed with my legs crossed. Watching him sleep was like looking at an angel…<p>

He was slowly breathing in the most peaceful slumber I had ever seen anyone in. I could have watched him forever but something told me to look at my phone. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and saw the message I had received from Tadase earlier this morning.

Tadase: Hey Amu, I was just wondering if you were ok. I wanted to talk to you about what happened the other day…but in person. Everyone misses you.

I sighed and continued to stare at it not knowing how to reply.

"Ugh…what am I going to do…?" I looked at the time and that's when my peaceful world exploded.

It was 4:23, way past the time school let out and I knew I was in trouble. I didn't think I would sleep that long and knowing my mom and how crazy she was today she was most likely going to come pick me up from school or something ridiculous like that…

Panicking I looked over at Ikuto who was still sound asleep. I hated to do this but…

"Ikuto! Ikuto! Wake up!" I shook him many times realizing how hard he was sleeping.

He moaned and slowly opened his eyes looking confused but gorgeous.

_This is no time to swoon Amu!_

Shaking my head I tried to focus on the situation at hand rather than his angelic face.

He rubbed his eyes and yawned. "What's wrong?" he mumbled.

I started to speak and he put his head on my lap which made me loose all train of thought.

"Ugh! No Ikuto don't fall back asleep. Sit up its important!" I tried to make myself sound urgent but even I wasn't convincing myself.

Thankfully he sat up and stretched. Still rubbing his eyes he tried to pay attention. "I'm awake…what's up?"

"Ikuto I have to go! Like now! We overslept and I'm in so much trouble! I can just feel it and-" I started to ramble and I ran around his room looking for my things even though I didn't leave anything around.

Ikuto sighed and stood up stretching and scratching his head. "Calm down princess."

He grabbed my face trying to make me focus which made it even harder for me to concentrate.

"Agh!" I smacked his hands away and ran to the door not knowing what to do.

I heard him following me and turned around to put my hands up. He face revealed no emotion but in his eyes I saw a hint of worry.

"Don't follow me! I don't want you getting yelled at and called a delinquent and taken to jail!"

He started laughing and playing with my hair. "Your gonna get lost going home by yourself."

"I'll be ok…" I really didn't want to leave him. I felt so comfortable with him but I had to.

"Ok, well text me if you get lost." He grabbed my face and brought it closer to his. He lightly traced his lips over my cheek which made me stop breathing before he gently pressed his lips to mine.

_Great! Now I'm really gonna get lost!_

He reached behind me and opened his door letting me stumble my way out. I heard him quietly laugh as I tried to remember how to work an elevator.

When I finally made it on and out of his sight I grabbed my chest and fell back against the wall. I was panting as I remembered the hotness of the kiss. My lips were still tingling and in honesty I wanted more. I let this be my only moment to revel in the moment before the elevator doors opened and I ran out immediately trying to make my way home.

* * *

><p>I was panting and looking around obviously lost. I contemplated texting Ikuto, but I really didn't want him in the middle of it…<p>

I was getting more and more frustrated as I continued walking around confused eventually ending up back in the same place I started. I started to ask directions when I heard a familiar laugh.

I turned and around smiling as I took in all of Ikuto's beauty. He stood with his hands in his jacket pockets watching me.

"Need some help?" He offered me his hand and I took it gladly finally swallowing my pride.

"I won't take you all the way home. Just to the park." I could hear the worry in his voice and it made me sad.

We walked hand-in-hand quickly to the park. When we finally made it to the park it was full of kids playing with their parents or friends while their parents watched them affectionately. It made me heart ache and I looked away…

I looked at Ikuto who was looking down and it made me worry. I knew he was about to tell me something bad.

"Amu…I have to go on "vacation" again. Try to stay strong while I'm away. I know this is bad timing, but I couldn't tell you earlier." He looked upset and I didn't want to see his face like that.

I immediately hugged him tight burying my face in his jacket. "I'll be ok." I tried to look as strong as I could even though my heart ached. This time I took the initiative and stood on my toes to gently kiss him before running away waving back at him.

I couldn't dare look at him…I didn't want to think about us being apart…

My parents were home of course and I knew they were waiting…

I stared at the place I called home, even though it was far from a home to me. I took a deep breath and held my chin up opening the door and charging in.

My mom was sitting on the couch her face in her hands crying as Daichi comforted her. When she heard the door open she looked up and immediately ran up to me pulling me into a tight hug.

I was in such shock. My mom hadn't hugged me in years and I didn't know what to do. I started to hug her back when she pulled away and smacked me with so much force that I fell over holding my cheek.

I looked up with tears in my eyes at my mother angrily glaring at me. She continued to cry but anger was taking over her emotions clouding her sadness.

"Where the hell have you been! Do you know how worried we were! I cant believe you would do this!" It was the first time she had hit me and I sat on the floor in shock. I could feel the tears in the back of my eyes but I wouldn't let them see.

"I'm so sick of you! Daichi was right! We should send you to a boarding school and that's exactly what we are going to do!"

I looked up in shock finally letting my tears run over. Many things went through my head at this moment.

_Boarding school…Away from here…_

Only one thing mattered to me more than my friends at school or where I was right now.

_Ikuto…_

**AN: **_Oh my god! Boarding school! Are you kidding me! Poor Amu! What's gonna happen to her and Ikuto? Dun Dun Duh! This was the longest chapter I have ever written which I did to kind of tide you all over until I wrote the next chapter. I've been really busy lately but I will try to update as soon as possible =3 This is not the last of Utau by the way. She will show up again with a formal introduction. Anyways, write me a review and let me know what you thought. Until Next Time!~_

~MewRaven94


	14. Chapter 13

**AN: **_It's about time that I wrote a new chapter! I know you are all thinking it and I got a review the other day asking me to please update…a lot. I didn't want to make anyone wait any longer because I know I pull my hair out when it takes a long time for an author to update. Thank you for the continued reviews and the patience, my life is starting to get under control again so hopefully you won't all have to wait so long for an update. Also ive been thinking of new ideas for new stories and an interesting play on this story I may write once I finish with this one ;) Anyways, here is the long awaited Chapter 13. I hope you all enjoy!~_

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 13<span>

I was sitting on my knees at this point in complete shock at what my mother had just told me. I could feel hot tears running down my face and I didn't realize it until a minute later but I was breathing really hard…hyperventilating would be a better word for it. I could still only think of Ikuto and how I didn't want to loose him. I could never imagine not being able to see his beautiful dark blue eyes or his teasing smirk…

"There is no point crying! You've forced this on yourself! We tried working with you but you have no intention of changing and all you're doing is causing more worry for this family!" My mother's words snapped me out of my shock and I began to find my voice to speak through all the tears.

"N-nnn-no…no…wait…" I struggled to speak in between sobs only coming out as desperate mumbles.

My mother began to turn away shaking her head and I finally found my voice. I felt so helpless but I couldn't give up.

"NO, wait, PLEASE!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I was trying to control my breathing and stop hyperventilating. I was already so light-headed but I couldn't stop.

"Please, please, please!" I cried out begging as I tried to wipe the tears away that were running down my face.

"Please mom, please don't send me away! I'm so sorry! I don't want to go away! Please don't do this to me! I'll be good and do anything you want! I'll try harder I promise just please don't send me away!" I buried my face in my hands and cried. I felt so distraught. I knew I had to deal with this alone and all I wanted was to run away into Ikuto's arms where I knew I was safe…

"No! I've had enough! Besides, you're only going to keep sneaking to see him. This way I can totally remove him from your life and set you on a better path." She didn't even turn to face me but I could hear hesitation in her voice.

She wanted me away from Ikuto so bad…but why? How could she keep me away from someone I loved so much all because she didn't think he was good for me? Because she thought he was a delinquent? He was the best thing for me. She didn't even know the whole story. I felt my heart began to rip apart as I formed the words in my head. I knew what I had to do and even though I didn't want to I couldn't risk never being able to see him again.

"NO! I-I-I promise! I will never see him again! I'll end it and I won't sneak out anymore! Please…just please don't send me away!" I choked the words out the best I could trying to sound as believable as possible. Every word hurt as I thought about erasing him from my life for even a day.

She finally folded her arms and turned around, her face hard showing no emotion. "Fine. You'll have to agree to my terms then."

I slowly shook my head still crying. "You will go to school every day and you won't be late anymore. I'll start driving you to and from school so we won't have to worry about any attendance problems. Also, no more bad marks from your teachers. I don't want to have to come see the principle anymore so you better be on your best behavior because if I get one call from any of your teachers about bad behavior you're gone. Lets not forget how grounded you are. You won't be going nor doing anything for awhile. Do you understand?"

I was starting to go numb as my emotions slowly began to recede into my mind rebuilding the walls that Ikuto had finally destroyed. I could still feel tears running down my face as I shook my head as I stared at the ground. I knew the worst was yet to come…

"Most importantly, no more seeing that boy." she said with such disgust, as if he was something dirty in her mind.

"Now call him and end it."

I hadn't expected that. All the emotion rushed back to my body and my eyes shot open. I began to shake my head pleading with my mother through my eyes to not make me do that. I started laughing through shallow breaths as I could feel myself began to hyperventilate.

"Wh-what are you talking about? End what?" I shook my head as I tried to laugh. I tried to sound believable but I knew there was no use…

"I'm not stupid Amu! Now call him and end it right now in front of me." She gave me a warning look and I reluctantly pulled my phone out.

I flipped my phone open and began to slowly search for his number. My body was shaking and it was hard to see through my tear filled eyes as I tried to draw out this painful even for as long as I could. When I landed on his name I stared at it for a moment while tears ran down my face.

I grudgingly looked up at my mother as I placed my finger over the call button. "What do you want me to say?" I mumbled against my own will. I could never form the words in my mind to end it…

"Tell him you're done seeing him. You had fun, but it's better if you didn't see him anymore. He can't be in your life anymore. You need to sound real so stop crying."

I choked back a sob as I pushed the call button. Trying to control my voice I continued to cry no matter how much I wiped my eyes. Taking a deep breath I waited for him to answer. I was praying that it would go to voicemail…

"What's wrong Amu?" The minute I heard his voice my heart shattered. I pulled the phone away from my ear and choked out a silent sob as my mother turned away with her arms still crossed. I could hear him calling my name becoming increasingly worried as I didn't answer. He knew something was wrong…

"Amu! Amu! Answer me! Are you ok?" he yelled into his phone.

I took a deep breath composing myself. I knew that I had to do it…

"Yea…im ok."

"What's wrong? You sound…off." I smiled at his concerned words as more tears escaped.

"I'm sorry…Ikuto." I mumbled sounding barely convincible.

"For what?" His deep voice was so relaxing and comforted me even though I was so distraught…I couldn't imagine not hearing it again…

I took a deep breath and continued. I felt my body trying to destroy itself as I thought these poisonous words.

"I don't want to see you anymore. I had fun bu-" He stopped me before I could finish.

"What are you talking about?" he said sounding so confused and worried.

"I don't want to see you anymore!" I yelled as I began to cry harder.

"Its better if you're not in my life! Thank you for all you've done…goodbye Ikuto." I whispered.

"I love you Amu."

I immediately flipped my phone closed ending the call before dropping it on the floor and breaking down. I hadn't cried this hard since I had lost my father…

I saw my mom pick my phone up off the floor before flipping it open and proceeding to erase my phone.

"I'll hold onto this for awhile. Its empty now but I'll be the one to decide when you get it back. I'm doing this for your own good Amu."

I looked up through thick tears and started to stand. With my head down I turned towards the stairs that led to my room. "Why couldn't you have died instead of dad…" I mumbled.

"Amu!" I heard Daichi yell but I paid him no attention as I made my way up the stairs.

I was so heartbroken and in pain that I immediately collapsed after slamming my door shut. I lay on the floor for what seemed an eternity crying as the swirls of pain ricocheted through my body. My entire body hurt and I felt the waves of my emotions trying to rip from my body. Mustering all the strength I could I crawled to my desk snatching my drawer open, spilling its contents on the floor.

There was only one thing I was looking for. The only thing that would release my pain. I angrily flung papers around looking for the source that had brought so many scars to my wrists and arms. Finally grasping my hands around it I scooted my back against my bed, resting my weight on it as I pulled my sleeves up. I could feel the tears still running down my face as I thought of him.

_Ikuto._

He wouldn't be here to save me this time…I wanted to run to him so he could take me away from everything…but I knew that this time…I was all alone. My heart yearned for him as I brought the razor to my wrist dragging it up my arm making the first cut. I kept replaying the short memories of him in my mind trying to relive every moment with him. I switched to the other arm as I began to rebuild my walls. With every cut I could feel all my pain escape as my emotions began to be sealed behind those high walls again.

I finally felt my tears stop and I dropped the blade as I stared at my window where he had appeared so many times. I pulled my sleeves down letting the blood soak into my jacket as I tried to climb into my bed.

Curling into a ball I felt my conscious began to slip…not before hearing his last words.

"_I love you Amu."_

* * *

><p><strong>BANG! BANG! BANG!<strong>

"Amu! Wake up! You have 30 min to get ready and be at my car!" my mother shouted through my door.

I slowly felt my body reanimate as I opened my swollen eyes. I felt so empty and emotionless. I moved robotically going through my usual routine for school. I alternated between a cold and hot rag over my eyes to reduce the swelling and brushed my hair not even putting any special pins in.

I grabbed my jacket and looked at the new cuts on my arm. They were so inflamed and painful, but it kept my inner pain away. I put my jacket on after rubbing my finger over them and ran down the stairs after grabbing my bag off the door. I didn't care what time it was…so I didn't know if I was late.

"Heard you got in big trouble last night!" Ami sneered. She was probably still bitter from the other day when I made her cry.

I didn't even look at her though…I kept walking and without noticing it I was in my mother's car. The drive was short and silent, but then again that's what I wanted.

"Have a nice day at school…" I heard her mumble.

I jumped out of the car and started walking towards the school, not even glancing at her.

I heard all the kids talking about their fun filled lives and their plans for the weekend as I opened the door.

Conversation stopped when I walked in but I didn't care. I stormed towards my seat and put my hands in my face when I was finally seated. My mind was completely blank…

"Hey Amu, are you okay?" I looked into Kukai's beaming face which was covered with worry as was Tadase's who stood next to him. I heard Rima and Yaya chime in next to me.

"Yea, we were worried when you didn't come to school yesterday." Yaya looked almost ready to cry.

"We had Tadase text you but you never answered, right?" Kukai said nudging Tadase.

"Um yea…"

All there faces were full of such worry and pity. What were they called again…_friends_?

"Um…" I started to talk when the homeroom teacher walked in. They all rushed to there seats after giving me "we're not finished" looks.

"Alright class settle down! Enough talking! That's what lunch is for!" she came booming in. I didn't even remember her name.

"Now then good morning." she said with a bow as we all stood and responded with a bow.

"Now let's see who all is here toda-" she stopped when she looked at me. She put her hands on her hips and gave me a disapproving look.

"So nice of you to join us today Ms. Hinamori. Hope you enjoyed your little day off. I spoke to your mother early this morning. I guess we should expect a better behaved attitude right?"

I started to grind my teeth as I looked down. "Yes…"

"Good. You missed a lot of work while you were playing hoo-" Tadase stood up stopping her mid-sentence.

"Sorry to interrupt you but the student council has to discuss ideas for the upcoming school festival with the class and since im the representative for this class and the president I need to do this quickly." I gave him a faint smile as I put my head down not wanting to hear anything else.

* * *

><p>Lunch finally started and I walked in a daze to the lunch line buying something I wasn't even going to eat. I hadn't eaten all day and I was starting to feel more light-headed. I forced myself to sit with my "friends" as I awaited their many questions.<p>

"Hey Amu!" Kukai was the first one to speak as usual and I nodded trying to smile.

"That was totally not right the way Ms. Hisashi did you this morning! She's such a total bitch!" Rima started yelling.

"Rima." Yaya whined. Nagahiko only laughed as he put his arm around her.

"I'm sorry but someone had to say it!" Rima huffed leaning into her boyfriend.

"It doesn't matter…" I mumbled.

I was too heartbroken to care.

Everyone's face dropped. Usually I was "cool and spicy" or whatever they called it…but today I was just completely empty. My words carried no spicy sting to it…

Kukai coughed and immediately changed the subject. "So! I heard you weren't doing well in math so I think it would help if you got a tutor and what better tutor than Tadase!" He nudged to his friend who put his hands up in defense.

"I'm not that good…" he shyly remarked.

"Whatever Mr. A++! No one "not that good" scores 103 on a math test. I don't even know where the extra 3 came from! We didn't have any bonus questions!" Kukai shouted.

"Yea Tadase! Your amazing at math. You help me all the time when I confuse numbers." Yaya chimed in.

"Confuse numbers? What?" Kukai whispered to Tadase.

"Aww Yaya, you're so cute!" Rima broke away from kissing her boyfriend and started patting Yaya's head. "Let's go get a cookie! For you of course cause im watching my weight." she laughed as they stood up.

She ran her fingers through Nagahiko's hair before walking away. They were definitely having sex…

"Anyway! Let Tadase tutor you. You're guaranteed to pass and you don't have to pay him." Kukai motioned to Nagahiko and they followed the other two girls.

Great…another genius Rima plan to get us alone…

"I don't have to tutor you if you don't want me to. They can be so pushy sometimes, but I don't mind helping you if you need it. I mean not to say you need it. Not everyone is good at math…um not to say you're not good at math! I just meant!" His face started to turn red as he struggled with his words.

I smiled faintly and rested my chin in my palm. What could it hurt?

"It's ok. You can help me if you want. I really do actually need a tutor but im not some leech. I will pay you some kind of way."

He shook his head smiling. "You don't have to pay me. That's what friends are for, right?"

I looked at him with wide eyes as I felt a piece of my wall crack. I smiled genuinely and softly laughed. "Thank you."

He looked away blushing as Kukai and the gang walked back over. "There we go! I knew you would get her to smile!"

Yaya scurried over to me and handed me a cookie smiling. "Cookies make everyone smile…well except cookie haters…or mean people or mayb-"

"Just give her the cookie Yaya!" Rima walked over laughing as she placed her arms around Nagahiko's neck.

I reluctantly took it and thanked her smiling genuinely. This is what real friends were like. I nibbled on the cookie listening to their funny conversations feeling my mind slowly awaken.

* * *

><p>"Do you want me to start today?" Tadase asked walking with me to the parking lot where my mom was waiting.<p>

I started to say no when my book bag rubbed against my cuts and I winced in pain. "Are you okay?" Tadase immediately asked.

"Yea its nothing. I just scratched my arm climbing out of a tree." I lied. It was the first thing to come to mind and I wished I hadn't said it. I bit my lip and waited for him to start asking questions, I mean what could I have been doing in a tree?

He didn't though. "Oh, well im glad you're not to badly hurt."

"Yea…" How ironic his words were. My mother had basically stabbed my heart.

"By the way, you can start today if you want…well if my mom will let you." I thought about being alone in that empty house and all the room it would give me to think. I didn't want to think, I wanted to forget and lock my feelings away.

"Alright. I'm sure I can get your mom to agree." he laughed following me.

When I saw the car waiting for me in the parking lot I was filled with instant rage and I looked at my mother. I felt such hatred and betrayal but I had to mask it.

Walking up to the window I proceeded to introduce Tadase. "This is Tadase Hotori. If it's ok with you, he plans on tutoring me and helping me with my work."

"Nice to meet you Mrs. Hinamori." he said bowing.

She looked at him with a strained smile. "My how you've grown. Your mother tells me about how well you're doing in school, Mr. President."

He looked down laughing. "That's nothing…"

"Oh but it is. You're an outstanding young man." She looked so pleased with him and I hated it…

"If it's ok with you I don't mind tutoring Amu with her school work."

She glanced at me then nodded. "Alright, she could use the help. Thank you very much. I'll pay you at the end of every week. Just tell me how much you want to charge an hour an-"

Putting his hands up he nervously shook his head. "That won't be necessary. I'm doing this for free. Amu is my friend and friends help one another."

I looked at the ground as they continued barely hearing the conversation. My blood was boiling with the rage I felt towards my mother.

"You're so sweet. Well hop in. I can drive you to our house. We have a dinner party tonight so we'll be leaving but you and Amu can continue studying." She had such a bright smile as she looked at him approvingly. I could see the look in her eyes like this is the boy my mom wanted me with…I was starting to rethink my initial plan.

"Sure. Thank you." Tadase began climbing into the backseat while I sat in the front staring out the window.

They talked the entire ride but I never really heard what they were saying. I kept building my walls in my own silent world.

* * *

><p>Tadase was a really good tutor and helped me understand a lot of problems that I usually didn't even attempt to do. He also took my mind off of everything else. I admit that he was pretty cool, just shy which was…cute.<p>

"See it's not that hard." he laughed checking over my paper.

"Of course not when you're a genius." I teased back.

"I'm not a genius. Nagahiko is actually way smarter than me." he said begrudgingly.

"No way!" I shook my head laughing. "He's so quiet and glued to Rima."

"Yea well his grades are better than mine. I may be the president but he's at the top of the school. Remember that test Kukai said I scored a 103 on? Yea well Nagahiko scored a 105." He looked jealous and I laughed placing my hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry. You're just as good, better even since you're the president." I said winking at him.

"Thanks…" he said looking down embarrassed.

His shyness was cute. I could feel the ice around my heart melting as feeling started to run through me again. The walls were still strong, but I didn't feel as empty. I didn't feel so alone…

"Look at the two lovebirds." I heard Ami sneer.

My body tensed up as I glared to were she was standing. "Don't you have some more pink things to try on?"

"You're just jealous because you can't go to the dinner party." She marched into the living room looking proud.

"Yea anyone would be jealous if they didn't get to pin the tail on the donkey." She was started to annoy me which would bring my blood to a boil again. I didn't want to have a freak out session with Tadase here.

"So unsophisticated." she said tossing her head back laughing.

"You can't even spell that."

"I can so!" she yelled balling her hands up.

I looked over near the door where the umbrella was sitting. Wasn't there a time when I was going to use that to beat her?

Before we could argue any further Tadase laughed.

"You must be Amu's cute little sister. My names Tadase Hotori. Your dress is really pretty." He smiled trying to sooth the storm that was brewing between us.

Ami stood wide eyed looking mesmerized by Tadase. Her face was flushing red and I started snickering failing to hold back my laughter.

"Um…Thank you." She looked down and started playing with her fingers just as my mom walked in.

"Ready to go Ami." She looked so tired and stressed but still managed to look beautiful.

"You look lovely Mrs. Hinamori." Tadase complimented.

She seemed to be in some sort of daze quickly snapping out of it when Tadase spoke.

"Thank you sweetie. Well you two have fun. Let's go Ami." she said ushering Ami to move.

She waved to Tadase before running out of the house. Daichi followed behind my mother and glanced at us giving Tadase a small smile. When they were finally gone I realized the problem at hand. I was alone with Tadase.

I turned around making eye contact with him before looking away nervously. "So…um are you hungry?"

"No thank you." he answered politely. We sat in silence for a moment as I searched for something to say.

"Thanks for helping me with all this." I motioned towards the schoolwork and he smiled.

"No problem. You seem to be feeling better. You seemed too depressed today."

I turned towards the table and shrugged. "Sorta."

"I don't want to be nosey, but is everything alright?"

I looked into his eyes which held such strong concern. I smiled sadly. "Yea ive just been going through a lot lately."

"Did he do something to you?"

My head shot up at his question. "No! Never!" I quickly denied. Except make me love him…

"Ikuto…" I struggled to say his name. "He's nice to me. He saves me."

"Saves you? From what?" He sounded so concerned and I looked at him sadly reluctant to tell him. So I lied.

"From life…when it gets to hectic."

"Weird…I thought he only cared about himself." he mumbled.

I turned to face him confused. "Why would you think that?"

"Because…Ikuto has always done what he wanted to do no matter what trouble it may have brought on our family. He stole my mother's jewels and sold them for his own personal wealth and what makes it so bad is that my sister stands by his side and supports him…" I had never heard him so angry before.

I wanted to deny everything he said and tell him what Ikuto had told me but I was afraid that Tadase wouldn't believe me.

"My mom was so good to him and he just ignored it and did what he wanted…hes just a thief." He looked down as he balled his fists.

I stared at him speechless as the pain set back in. I missed him so much…

"Please don't cry! I'm sorry, I just get so mad when I talk about him!" He caressed my cheek wiping away the tears as he had done once before as I realized I was crying.

I jerked away shocked rubbing my eyes. "I'm sorry…" I couldn't help the tears that flowed down my face and I buried my face in Tadase's shoulder as I cried. He gently held me as I cried.

I was so angry with myself for letting my walls fall again but I couldn't help it around him for some reason.

I pulled away sniffling and wiping my eyes. "You love him don't you?" he asked sounding sad.

I looked away not wanting to respond. He sighed and poked my cheek making me turn to face him. "I'm not giving up." I was confused as I stared at his smiling face.

"Giving up what?"

He shrugged and started laughing. "Nothing. So you and your mom don't really seem to get along, so if you want the gang and I can come get you in the morning and drive you to school then I can come here after for tutoring, if you'd like?"

I smiled and thought about it before shrugging. I felt tired like I didn't have the energy to speak.

"Don't worry we'll make your mom agree." he told me winking. I felt my heart flutter as my face began to redden. Who knew he could be so prince-like…

I nodded and stood up to stretch. "Well I'll see you in the morning Amu." he said as he gathered his supplies to leave.

"Wait! How are you getting home?" I felt a chunk of the energy left in me deteriorate as I reached out to grab his shoulder to stop him. I immediately withdrew my hand and pulled them behind my back.

"Don't worry Kukai lives right up the street from here." He was smiling as always and it made me feel warm.

I was unconvinced but I let him go not having the strength to argue any further. I nodded and opened the door for him but before he could leave I did the unthinkable. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him.

"Thank you for everything Tadase." I mumbled.

"No problem." he laughed nervously. I pulled away and waved him goodbye before shutting the front door. That's when the loneliness began to eat at me.

I stared at my things on the living room table and made my over to shove it all in my bag before trudging up the stairs.

I felt so alone and I wanted more than ever to hear his face. As I walked up the stairs I stopped at my door, hoping that he would be on the other side. Hesitantly pushing it open I stared at an empty room. Throwing my jacket off onto the floor I crawled into my bed realizing that I still hadn't really eaten today. Holding onto my pillow I drifted away into a deep slumber….and that's when the nightmares started.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:<strong> _I know this chapter was sad but things will look up in a bittersweet type of way, and sorry to say but I do have to give Tadase a chance at least lol. So don't give up on me yet. I realized im starting to make longer chapters…I hope it's not too much for everyone to read. Anyways, write me a review and let me know what you thought. They are much appreciated. Until Next Time!~_

_~MewRaven94_


	15. Chapter 14

**AN: **_Oh my goodness, thank you all so much for the reviews and the alerts/favorites. You don't know how happy that kind of stuff makes me! I want to try to be more interactive with those that review just to show how much I appreciate it, so don't hesitate to ask questions. I started to write this chapter like a week after I had released the last chapter but I got seriously sidetracked unfortunately. Anyways, sorry for the late update but once again thank you for the support. Hope you enjoy~_

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 14<span>

"_Ikuto! Ikuto! Ikuto please! Wait!" My lungs felt as though they were on fire as I continued to run deeper into the dark abyss after the one I loved so much. My legs felt as though any moment they could would give out, but I couldn't stop. I pleaded with my body to not give up and I pleaded for Ikuto to turn around. _

_He was walking nonchalantly with his hands in his pockets into the dark abyss, oblivious to my screams. "Ikuto!" I could make out his usual attire and the jacket I had buried my face in countless times to cry. If my hand could just reach a piece of his furry hood maybe he would stop…_

_The desperation in my voice scared me and I began to panic. It was becoming harder to breathe at this point and I could feel the tears begin to form in my eyes. No matter how fast I ran or how loud I screamed, he couldn't hear me. He was disappearing in front of my eyes…_

"_IKUTO PLEASE!" Giving one last scream I stretched out my hand in a useless attempt to reach him and he finally stopped walking. Finally turning around, he mouthed my name as I continued to run, gasping for air. Choking out a laugh I nodded as he stretched out his hand to me with his usual teasing smirk growing on his face. _

"_Don't leave me Ikuto! I'm coming! I love yo-" Before the words could escape my mouth in a rushed slur the blaring horn of a large truck drowned my voice out as the headlights illuminated my dream making Ikuto…disappear. _

"NO!" I lurched out of bed, ending my horrid nightmare. Gasping for air and sweating I wiped the pick locks stuck to my face and throat away before realizing I wasn't alone in my room.

"Amu!" Looking up with wide eyes into the worried face of my mother I quickly searched for a comprehensible sentence to justify what she may have seen.

"What?" It was all I could whisper. Clearing my throat I tried to speak louder but she cut me off.

"What! What do you mean, what!" Her eyebrows were drawn together in a face I hadn't seen since last night…a mixture between anger and worry.

"I-I don't know what you mean…" I mumbled quickly looking down.

"Don't give me that! You know what I mean!" She had scooted closer to me on my bed and grabbed my hand to which I quickly jerked away.

Feeling the panic rise in my throat I fought to contain my emotions. "It's nothing…"

"How can you say it's nothing! How long has this been happening! When did it start!" She was firing questions like a game show host during a lightning round as the flood gate that controlled my emotions began to break.

"Why haven't you told anyone!"

Blinking back the tears that began to form in my eyes against my own will I mentally reconstructed the walls in my mind and unleashed the only emotion that was normal to me…anger.

"WHEN DID YOU START CARING!" My mother flinched with a hurt expression as my anger erupted.

Everything was silent as though neither of us knew what to do next. Throwing my covers off myself, I slid out of my bed without another glance at my mother.

"Amu…" she whispered hesitantly.

I began to walk to the bathroom trying to ignore her little attempt at reaching out. Stopping short of the bathroom door I huffed out a laugh.

"The nightmares are all your fault." I waited for her response before swiftly opening the bathroom door. The last thing she mumbled fell on deaf ears as the door muted out all outside noise with its echoing slam.

After a small hesitation to open the door and run into her arms, I fell to the floor and grabbed my knees. The nightmare had exhausted me and his name still wouldn't leave my mind as it made futile attempts to lock all his memories behind my once strong walls.

"I'm so scared…" I whispered. Why did he have to disappear in my dream?

* * *

><p>Finally being able to drag myself off the floor and into the shower began my tedious routine to prepare myself for school. It took many applies of a hot and cold rag to reduce the puffiness of my swollen eyes and it wasn't until I was halfway down the stairs did a crippling headache erupt through my head. Gasping at the pain and grabbing my head I steadied myself against the wall so the harmless trip down the stairs didn't turn into a painful tumble.<p>

"Ugh…is this what a hangover feels like?" Taking a deep breath and letting go of the wall helped me to at least make it to the kitchen table where I could collapse. Resting my head on the table I eyed an apple as my stomach began to churn. Maybe food was the solution?

Before my plan could make any progress the annoying footsteps of Ami entered the kitchen. Yes, even her footsteps annoyed me…

Sighing I prepared myself mentally for the shitstorm. Glancing over at her helped me analyze the level of the storm she was about to unleash. It looked like it was hurricane season…

"You made mommy cry you doodie-head!" she shouted with her hands balled up at her sides.

I laughed weakly as I pushed myself up to face her. My head was radiating pain through my head but she wasn't going to think she had won. My umbrella had been ready for this storm…kind of.

"What are you five? Doodie-head? Is that the best you can do and you expect Tadase to like you?" I unleashed my fury with a triumphant smirk on my face.

"Shut up! Only reason why Tadase hangs out with you is because you're so stupid and he feels sorry for you! Mommy doesn't deserve you annoying attitude! Why don't you just go away, for good!"

That last one actually hurt a little. My own sister wanting me to disappear after all I had done for her…

It was me who helped her pull out her first baby tooth. It was me who took care of her when she had the chicken pox and the flu. It was me who taught her how to ride a bike. So many memories that meant nothing to her now…

"Maybe I will soon. Then you can stay in this shit hole fantasy you've created to erase all the pain. Its got to hurt to not even remember your own father." The smirk was gone and our faces turned serious. This wasn't our usual argument, this wasn't even a shitstorm, it was something deep and painful that hurt us both to talk about.

She crossed her arms and tossed her head up with a huff. "I don't need to remember him. I've got Daichi. You're the one without a father."

Laughing I placed my hand on my head. "You make me sick. You're so pathetic. His time and love were wasted on you."

The doorbell rang which ended what was about to be a rant. Rolling my eyes at my sister I drug myself to the door with a smug look.

"No we don't want what you're selling; we only pretend to be interested so you won't quit your day job." I leaned against the door with a bored expression as I closed my eyes thinking the salesmen would continue to try anyway.

"Um…Amu?"

Tadase's gentile voice snapped me back to life as the embarrassment of the situation set in. "Oh! Sorry! Good morning! Um…"

Looking at his boyish smile as he laughed relaxed my nerves and I smiled shyly.

"Good morning. You must have a lot of salesmen come by to your door in the morning."

I shifted my stance and grabbed my hair in embarrassment. "Well kind of…anyway, what brings you here?"

His blushing face gave away his nervousness while he tried to explain his reason for being here. "W-w-well, I was just wondering if you wanted-"

Before he could finish Ami came to the door shoving me out of the way. I stumbled a little and place my hand on the door frame to steady my balance as the world began to spin. Unfortunately, Tadase noticed.

"Are you okay Amu?" he asked worriedly with an outstretched hand to help me.

"Yea, I'm fine." I waved him off and glared at my sister who was about to get kicked off the porch.

"Oh, I'm so sorry nee-san!" She was facing me so that Tadase couldn't see her devious grin. Scraping my nails on the door I fought to control my anger.

"Aren't you sweet? How are you doing this morning Ami?" Tadase asked placing his hand on her head. The little contact made her eyes sparkle like diamonds.

I turned away sickened by this display of fake cuteness. Who did she think she was fooling? Grabbing my churning stomach I walked into the living room where my mother was putting her shoes on. She did look like she had been crying but any remorse was crushed when she looked at me with her cold eyes.

My mother's once gentile smiling face was now calloused with a business-like glare. The only remnant of this once beautiful face was the faint laugh lines that I'm sure only I noticed.

She started to acknowledge my presence when Tadase and Ami walked in the living room laughing which triggered a seismic wave of headache pain. I sighed and placed my hand on my forehead. Everyone just needed to disappear…

_Ikuto…_

_**Stop…don't think about him.**_

"So is that okay with you Mrs. Hinamori?"

Bringing myself back to reality I quickly tried to find the reason for the question. "Are you sure it wont be any trouble?" my mother asked tiredly. She was beginning to look more exhausted everyday…

"I promise it won't be any problem. Plus it will make it easier for me to tutor her if I can drive straight here after school with her."

I glanced over at him in shock, was he really keeping his word? He smiled warmly at me and my heart began to flutter.

"Alright. Just have her home after school. Come on Ami, we need to get you ready for school." she said standing and grabbing Ami's hand.

"Bye Tadase!" she blurted out, waving with a dreamy expression.

"Have a nice day Mrs. Hinamori." Tadase called as he followed me out of my house and towards his car.

As I stepped off the porch another wave of pain pulsated through my head which made me stumble back into Tadase. Trying to keep the world from spinning I closed my eyes as Tadase grabbed my shoulders to help steady me.

"Are you sure you're okay?" His voice was drenched in worry as he moved closer to me so I wouldn't fall.

Slowly nodding and finding the willpower to move I stepped away from him laughing. Making a quick lie was easy. "I'm fine. Just drowsy. I'm not much of a morning person."

I tried to sound convincing but to me, it sounded like a lie. Turning to face Tadase I saw that he wasn't buying it either.

"Don't worry, dude." I said playfully smacking his arm. "We better go before we're late."

He smiled and nodded as he reached past me to open the door. For a second our eyes met each other and we both quickly walked away, blushing. "Ex-excuse me." he mumbled running to the driver's side.

Why was I blushing around him? What were these feelings? I always did this around him and it made me feel as though I was betraying…

_Ikuto_

_**Stop!**_

The car engine startled me away from my inner thoughts to my relief and we began our drive to gather the rest of out group.

Along the way we made idle chat and laughed a little while my head tried to crack open against my pleas for it to stop.

Kukai was the first stop. His face was beaming with excitement when he saw me in the car and he hurriedly climbed in.

Kukai playfully punched Tadase in the arm once he was secured in the car and laugh loudly. "You sly dog. What's up Amu?"

"Morning Kukai. You're energetic as always." I laughed. To bad laughing hurt…

"Why thank you!" he bowed waving his hands in an elegant way.

"Why don't you save some of that energy for your soccer match today?" Tadase teased.

"Yea, whatever man!"

Kukai was like a ray of sunshine with heat rays that beat through your back. Too much to handle…

The car turned into a melting pot of laughter when Yaya arrived with her bubbly attitude. "So Rima said not to swing by her house."

"Aww why?" Kukai whined.

"Her and Nagihiko are being driven to school together by his butler or something." Yaya mumbled disappointed.

"I think they are called chauffeurs Yaya." Tadase corrected laughing at her.

"Oh! They aren't the same thing?" The whole car burst out in laughter.

They all were so happy and I envied it…I wanted that kind of peace. The short drive to school with them had exhausted me even more to the point that I didn't even notice when we had arrived till the engine cut off.

We continued laughing as we walked towards school with Kukai's animated yet cool personality and Yaya's bubbly yet dopey comments. Tadase walked beside me calmly mostly laughing, making his own comments here and there. I tried to keep up, but I was beginning to feel more and more ill but I refused to ask for help…I couldn't ruin this peaceful moment with them.

"Eww Rima! First you don't ride with us school then you expect us to watch us make out with your boyfriend?" Yaya shouted.

There she was with all her beauty. Rima with her tongue down Nagihiko's throat. He pulled back immediately embarrassed as Rima stood there puzzled and unashamed. They were definitely having sex…

"You're just jealous because I have a boyfriend Yaya." Rima teased. Rima was average height with such beautiful long hair that would make any girl jealous. Her air of confidence could be intimidating which I wish I possessed.

I waved at them both quietly from the sidelines as my headache began to pulsate once again, this time not stopping.

"Hi Amu!" she giggled as she grabbed Nagihiko's hand who nodded at me with a warm smile.

"Come on guys, before we're late!" Kukai bellowed.

"Since when were you worried about being late to class?" Nagihiko asked with a raised eyebrow.

"I've got to soak up my pre-game praise and reassure everyone of our victory today!" He clenched his hand into a fist and tried to look importance to which they all laughed. I tried to laugh to no avail.

I realized that my voice was empty with no emotion as my head began to surely split. Once again the world began to spin but this time even closing my eyes wouldn't stop it as everything around me began to blur. I grabbed my head and looked around in desperation and the world spun faster and completely faded out into darkness.

Suddenly I was falling as people frantically yelled my name and the world went silent. The last thing I heard was Tadase whisper my name in my ear.

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><p><strong>AN: <strong>_Phew! Okay, there is Chapter 14. It took me so long to write it since I actually finished it like yesterday but I didn't like it so I erased it and rewrote the entire thing, but it was a labor of love~ This chapter was kind of long. Anyways, don't forget that dream. It has a lot of meaning. Well, write me and let me know what you think. I love everyone's reviews and they motivate me to continue. I want your honesty and criticism! It helps me become a better writer. I'll try to update by next Tuesday. Until Next Time!~ _

_~MewRaven94_


	16. Chapter 15

_**AN: **So I know it's been a very long time and I've missed you all dearly. I've also missed writing and it's good to be back with all new ideas and passion. Thank you all for continuing to like my story! It makes me so happy to know people are still reading my story. So after a long absence, I hope you enjoy!~_

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><p><span>Chapter 15<span>

_Everything was so black. I had this sensation that I was floating in an expanse of darkness with no way out…but I didn't feel afraid. I felt as though this was were I belonged. After feeling so many conflicting, painful emotions, it felt welcoming to be in a place where none of that mattered…just floating. I wanted this feeling to drench me until I could drown…_

"_**Do you…mind if I sit there?" **_

_W-was that my voice? _

"_**It's not my bench."**_

_Ikuto…Suddenly my heart lurched with a crippling emotion I didn't want to give recognition. I wanted to stay in this numbing darkness. _

"_**Well what is your name?" **_

_I felt myself shiver at the sound of his voice. Was this a memory? _

"_**Well what is yours?" **I could hear my nervous attitude I always used to hide my shyness. _

"_**I asked first." **Hearing his laugh made the darkness slowly fade around me. The numbness was slipping as the pain became more relevant. The memory hurt…_

"_**But I'll be a gentleman and tell you. My name is Ikuto. Now what is yours?" **I could feel my breath catch in my throat as I realized the memory. _

"…_**Amu."**_

"_**Amu…that's cute."**_

_It was the memory of when we first met. My face began to contort in distress…I wanted to run from this memory. I was always running away…but I wanted to see him…just one more time._

_Just as the feeling began to rush back into my body a loud truck horn blared, planting a feeling of unparalleled panic in my heart. _

"_Ikuto!" I screamed as I shot my arm out into the darkness. He wasn't there…_

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><p>I lurched up from wherever I was laying and tried to catch my breath. My heart was beating out of my chest and my lungs felt like they would burst at any moment. What kind of dream was that? Placing my head in my hands I tried to recollect my thoughts about the dream. I didn't want to forget it but I knew I eventually would…but I had to hold onto that memory.<p>

Taking several deep breaths finally gave me the opportunity to notice my surroundings with my panic subsiding. The walls were so disgustingly white and the entire room smelt like rubbing alcohol with a hint of latex gloves…a repulsive smell. The nurse's office…I was laying in a bed in the nurse's office…the last place I wanted to be.

Giving an exasperated sigh I began to remember the events that landed me in this disgustingly white office. Fainting…

"I see you're finally awake! I'm so glad. We were beginning to worry." A cheerful voice blurted.

I winced at the sound of her voice and glanced towards the doorway where the source of the voice and Tadase were standing.

"Now, I need to conduct a few health procedures on you and ask a few questions. It won't take long so please bare with me." She chided with a cheerful grin.

I nodded in response and glanced at Tadase who was quietly standing next to the nurse, looking at me with a face plastered with worry. My eye twitched as the irritation developed in my body. Why was I so frustrated?

"Now open your mouth." How did she get over here so fast, with a chair? She gently placed the thermometer under my tongue as she sat next to the bed. After about a minute she finally took it out.

"Hmm looks normal. Now if you'll just answ-"

"I'm sorry." I interrupted. "I really don't feel like answering any questions. I assure you, I'm fine. I just forgot to eat and didn't sleep to well, so please just let me leave." I could hear the irritation in my voice and had to force myself to bottle it.

"Please?" She was a sweet looking woman in her early twenties, but the tight bun her hair was pulled in made her look older. Maybe that's what she was going for considering we were in a high school full of hormonally insane boys. With her face being heart shaped, she looked sweet and innocent not to mention her figure.

"I understand but I have to make sure you're alright before I release you from my care. Besides your parents should be here soon, right?" She asked looking at Tadase.

"Well, I called them back like you asked and they asked me if I would bring her home since they were so busy with work. I usually drive her home from school anyway, so Amu's mother was fine with it." He spoke with such a proper tone but I knew he was lying. He hadn't really called my parents back and the nurse would believe his lie. How couldn't you with how innocent Tadase looked?

I shook my head and grinned slightly. "So it should be fine then, right?"

She sighed and stood up crossing her arms. "Fine, but you need to make sure you get enough rest and eat something tonight! In fact, young man make sure this little blossom eats something."

She winked in an innocent yet flirty way as I stood from the bed. My head couldn't stand one more second of this room or its smell. "Yea, he'll get right on that…" I mumbled before rushing through the door.

"Amu wait!" Tadase called. Maybe if he wasn't flirting with the nurse…

I waited until he walked out of the room before turning back to rush towards the door again. My head was speeding through so many emotions I could have gotten whiplash.

When we were finally outside Tadase caught up to me and grabbed my arm with enough force to stop me. "Amu, wait."

"Thank you. Thank you for catching me…for taking me to the nurse…for waiting. Everything." My voice sounded so small. "You don't need to do anything else. I'll walk home myself."

He wasn't letting go of my arm though which made me smirk in annoyance. "Amu…What's wrong? What is really going on with you?"

My face twisted into bewilderment. "What do you mean Tadase?" I smiled in an attempt to lighten the situation. Suddenly I was feeling very panicky again as he still wasn't releasing my arm.

"Don't make me say it…just tell me what's going on? I'm your friend right?"

I laughed at his response. "Yes, and as my friend you should believe me when I tell you I'm fine."

"Then why are you running from me?"

"Wha-"

"You know what I mean! You always run from us! How can we be your friends if you're always running from us?! Even me! Every time something happens to you…it's like you close yourself off from the world. Ikuto isn't the only thing that matters in this world!"

I felt my anger flare as I tried to pull my arm from his grasp to no avail. "Shut up! You don't understand anything!" The mention of his name began to send waves of fire through my veins as the dream resurfaced in my mind.

"He's the only thing that has ever been there for me!" I shouted.

"That's because you won't let us be there! I've tried to be there for you Amu, but you always push me away! I can't understand anything unless you tell me and I'm tired of being friends with a lie!" he shouted back.

His words hurt me more and I felt myself begin to crumple like a wilted flower. I didn't want to fight with him. Hot tears surfaced in my eyes as I looked away. "Please…nothing is wrong."

He sighed and moved his grasp down to my hand before lifting my arm up and doing the unthinkable. He yanked my sleeve down as hot tears of anger spilled over onto my cheeks. "What are you doing!" I shouted.

"What are YOU doing Amu!?"

My breathing picked up as I yanked my arm away and began pulled my sleeve down looking around in paranoia. The cuts were so visible and red against my skin. How did he ever see them?

When I fainted…

"You don't get it! You don't understand and I don't want you to! You'll leave just like everyone else and I'll go back to being alone! Quit trying to understand me! I was doing just fine before I met any of you!" The tears were gone as the numbness tried to resurface…I wanted it to so bad. This would end our "friendship".

"Even Ikuto?"

"Shut up!" I growled.

"How do you know we would leave you? Don't compare me with everyone else! I'm here for you Amu! I've always wanted to see you smile. You've never given me a chance. If I didn't care so much I wouldn't keep trying." He sounded so pained but I couldn't look at him.

"Please Amu? Trust me?" He gently placed his arm on my shoulder which sent chills through my body.

Tadase was the one who gave me the flower when my father died. He still remembered to this day…he was always trying to comfort me. Why couldn't I see that?

Turning around shamefully, I nodded slowly and tried to smile. Suddenly he scooped me into a warm hug as I stood there motionless.

"Stop trying so hard. If you're upset just tell me. I'm here for you, I promise. You don't have to run away."

I held back my tears and smiled as I buried my face into his shoulder. "Thank you."

He pulled me back and cupped my face in his hands. Blood immediately rushed to my face at this surprising contact and my eyes fluttered.

"Now, why don't we go get something to eat?" he smiled brightly.

Taking his hands I smiled softly and looked up for once. "What about my parents?"

"Don't worry. I'm good with parents." He replied with a wink.

I laughed gently and followed him to his car. My body felt so warm again and I felt like I had a place to belong. This feeling made the darkness feel so cold…and empty. My walls gently fell as I tried to awaken my cold mind…but I was scared. I didn't want to forget him. I missed him so much still…could I ever have him back? My heart silently yearned for him as me and Tadase drove together down the rode into a hopefully, brighter future.

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><p><em><strong>AN: <strong>It felt so good to write that! I'm even more excited to write the next chapter. Since you all have waited so patiently, I'll finish the next chapter tomorrow and update. Do not spazz! Ikuto is coming back ;) I tried to bring back some old moments of how Amu and Ikuto first met. It made me so sad writing that! I miss them lol I try not to make my chapters to long. I don't want anyone getting tired while reading, but if you want them longer let me know. Anyways, once again thank you for reading. Tell me what you think? How can I improve? I'm here to please you guys! Until Next Time!~ _

_~MewRaven94_


	17. Chapter 16

_**AN: **Finally have some down time to write a new you for all the reviews and favorites, since they really keep me going. You have no idea! I'm in my senior year of high school and since last year was kind of a bust…I've got to make up for all that failure and really stay focused. So bear with me guys, but thank you so much for your support. I just recently finished writing my graduation essay and battling writers block. I've rewritten this chapter many times and learned a lot from my many sources. Hopefully this new approach will help. Anyways, hope you all enjoy! I've given you all a surprise~_

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><p><span>Chapter 16<span>

-A Month Passes-

Time flies so fast and days become such a blur. I never thought that I would actually make friends at school, but I actually have. Surprisingly things have gone a lot better, well at school at least. I'm still more or less invisible at home, but that's okay because I kind of like it better that way…don't I?

I was dragging myself through my usual morning routine for school thinking faintly of my day ahead.

_I hope something interesting happens today…_

Everything had become such a routine but I couldn't really complain too much…but everyday life gets boring without a little spice. Just as I was clipping my x-shaped bows into my hair there was a faint knock at my door, followed by my mother strolling through with a stern look on her face.

_Greeeeat…here we go._

She crossed her arms and stared at me as I stood in the middle of my room confused. "I just thought I'd praise you on your recent behavior." She began.

"Your teacher's have all spoken fondly of you lately and your behavior has been better around here. Not to mention you have actually started to mind me."

_Mind you!? When do you ever pay attention to me unless I'm doing something you don't approve of!? _

I felt my eye twitch as she continued.

"Nonetheless, I am very proud of you so here you go." She stretched out her arm to reveal my long lost cell phone.

I didn't really know how to react so I only stared with some type of shock possessing my features. My arm began to tense up like it wanted to reach out and take it, but my mind said otherwise still absorbing the situation. Was this a dream?

"Well, do you want it back or not?" she asked impatiently. Snapping myself out of shock I hesitantly retrieved my phone from her hand.

Glancing back up at her I mumbled a hesitant "Thank you." She nodded back in response and smiled forcefully before clearing her throat.

"Also, you are ungrounded. Have a nice day at school." She ended the conversation at that and quickly left my room without another glance.

I was still in shock…did my mom really just praise and reward me? Looking down at my phone quickly brought back all the memories of a month ago which killed any feelings of gratitude towards her. Grabbing my jacket and book bag off the door I hurriedly ran down the stairs to await Tadase's arrival. We all carpooled to school together everyday and it was actually something I had begun to look forward to.

I noticed how quiet the house was as I suddenly felt vulnerable. I felt like a deer being stalked by a cougar as my little sister stormed in the kitchen with her hands on her hips just as I was biting in to an apple off the counter.

"Hmmph. I bet your happy mom gave you your dumb phone back. So not fair, she was going to give it to me." She pouted.

All I could do was laugh. I didn't even have the heart to argue with her, so I only laughed and walked away with my apple. "What's so funny!?" she screamed furiously.

"Oh, nothing. That was a funny joke." I teased in between laughs. Her face began to turn red as she armed herself with insults but I ignored her as the Tadase's horn beeped outside.

"Bye sugar baby." I teased throwing my apple in the trash and running out. I stared at the car happily until I remembered my phone in my pocket.

Once I was in the car everyone loudly, yet cheerfully welcomed me like every morning as I laughed.

"What do you look so puzzled about?" Yaya pestered from the back seat.

"You look like you have some big news, spill it girl." Rima nudged.

I rolled my eyes and sighed. "It's not really big." I began fishing my phone out of my pocket. "My mom just gave me my phone back and sort of…ungrounded me."

I heard Kukai cough like he was choking on his spit while Yaya hugged me from the back seat. "Yay! Now we can have slumber parties and go shopping and eat cake and pla-"

"No way! About time!" Rima interrupted. Kukai nudged Tadase sharing an unspoken conversation they only they understood. Tadase's face began to turn tomato red as Kukai smiled brightly still poking him.

"Okay, we definitely have to celebrate! Shopping!" Rima shouted.

"That's all you ever want to do." Nagahiko teased.

"Well what else is there to do?" Rima and Yaya replied in unison.

I was just about to say something when Yaya screamed excitedly. It's a wonder we hadn't all crashed yet…

"Look! It's Utau! She's finally come back and she's going to perform live here!" she exclaimed.

"She is so beautiful. I hope and pray I can be as pretty as her one day!" Yaya idolized Utau, but had never met her even though she was Tadase's sister. Glancing over at Tadase I could see that he wasn't all too happy about his sister returning but didn't want to ruin the excitement.

"You should totally get us tickets to go see her! Pleeeeease?!" Yaya begged.

"Well-" Tadase began.

"She's not that great. I know she's your sister and all but people act like she's a freaking goddess." Rima boasted, unimpressed. What did Rima have to be jealous of? She was already beautiful and sought after by almost every boy. Her hair and figure was model perfect and she knew it.

"Right Nagahiko?" she asked lovingly.

"She does have an amazing voice. I could say that's goddess-like." He hesitantly replied.

Wrong answer…

"Whatever! I can sing too!" she replied angrily.

"Like a dying animal…" Kukai mumbled.

"WHAT!?" Rima yelled.

"Nothing. I said nothing." Kukai nervously answered shielding his face.

"Why don't you go out with her if she's so goddess-like then?" Rima grumbled at Nagahiko.

"Wait, I never said she was goddess-like." Nagahiko whined.

"DIVORCE!" Rima yelled.

"When did you two get married?" I laughed joining in.

Everyone in the car laughed as we arrived at school. Yaya continued to boast about Utau and beg Tadase for tickets and a chance to meet her, as Rima and Nagahiko settled their "divorce" all the way to class.

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><p>Class was such a bore and I hated my teachers, but it was either be civil or loose the war. I stared out the window thinking of how much my life had changed in just a month. Rima and Yaya had become like my best friends telling me everything and vice versa. They really looked out for me, but Yaya was my favorite. She was so sweet and innocent with a cheerful disposition to match.<p>

We had spent a little time together here and there at my house when Tadase let her come with him on our tutoring sessions. Tadase…

I don't really know where we stand…but he's one of my closest friends. Whenever I need to talk I always go to him and there have been many nights where we have just talked about anything and everything. I was most thankful to him, but he didn't make me completely forget…

I lightly squeezed my phone as my heart lurched. He was gone…I'd probably never see him again, but I still wanted to so bad. Sometimes I would sit on my window sill and just remember…everything.

That smirk…his deep mesmerizing voice…his gentle touch…his laugh…our kiss…

Just as my heart began to sink a note was thrown on my desk. I glanced at the note then around the classroom. Kukai was asleep drooling on his desk. Rima was twirling her hair around her finger staring longingly at Nagahiko who was staring back. I guess they made up. Then there was Yaya, trying to stay awake as her head bobbed in a war of consciousness that she was loosing.

Tadase was focused on the teacher so I finally just opened the note.

_Want to come over my house for dinner, ya know, in celebration of your freedom? –Tadase_

I smiled faintly and looked up to meet his nervous eyes. I nodded eagerly with a bright smile on my face as he blushed shyly.

_What did I just get myself in to?_

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><p>"I knew it!" Kukai shouted.<p>

"Shhh, it's not that big of a deal! You all could come if you weren't busy." Tadase argued.

"Yea, like you'd want us there." Kukai teased nudging him. "Besides I'm not really allowed in your house anyway…well see ya!" he yelled with a wink as he dashed off to soccer practice.

"Well I can still take you three home, unless you want to come?" Tadase asked politely.

Rima smirked and grabbed Nagahiko and Rima. "No no, we have much shopping to do and we just can't wait any longer! Right guys?"

"Yep!" Yaya agreed. Nagahiko simply rolled his eyes and laughed. "Bye!" she exclaimed before dragging them away. "Call me later Amu!" Yaya called.

My heart was racing. This was the first time I would be going to his house, alone, with him. I looked up at him hesitantly and we met each others nervous eyes before looking away quickly.

"Um, well shall we?" he asked opening the door for me.

I nodded shyly and entered the car.

The ride was pretty quiet since we were both nervous. Other than the radio, my heart was loud enough to be mistaken for drums. I couldn't bear the silence much longer.

"So, what's your house like?" I asked.

"Oh it's nothing special. Well, it's pretty big but it's just home."

I believed him until we pulled up to his gate. That's right, I said gate. They opened and he drove up this long driveway lined with perfectly cut trees lined along the side towards a giant mansion before stopping underneath a large archway where he had butlers open our doors.

Butlers! I was in such awe that I could only stare, but my mouth really dropped when we went inside.

"This is the foyer. My mom just had it redecorated and-" I had stopped listening. I could only stare at the giant foyer. The floor was made out of marble clear enough to see my reflection in, and the walls were decorated with expensive looking pictures with a classical feel. There were large drapes and rugs fit for royalty. This was nothing special!? The stairs were made out of marble to with a large red rug leading to the top with beautiful expensive cloth hanging off the railing. This was like a king's palace!

"How?" Was all I could mumble.

He laughed and waved a hand in front of my face. "My mom and dad are basically rich. My dad owns many companies around the city, but we don't have the same last name so that's why you wouldn't recognize our relation."

"Why not?" I asked curiously.

"Super long boring story. The gist is he wants the business to fall in my mothers name since our name is pretty well known by itself and blah blah blah."

"It's so pretty." I mumbled still in a daze.

He laughed and smiled brightly. Just as he was about to continue a woman cleared her throat. At the top of the stairs stood the one and only Utau, with her two body guards. She was wearing her signature black ballerina dress enhanced by her knee high boots. She really did look like a goddess with her long blond hair and her overwhelming air of confidence.

"Well well, long time no see little brother! You look nice." She exclaimed. She began prancing down the stairs gracefully as I watched in awe. This was really her? She stopped in front of me and gave me a once over before smiling brightly and introducing herself. "As you already know, I'm Utau. You must be Amu. I've heard a lot about you." She said with a devious look on her face.

_She had heard about me? Did that mean he…_

Any further thought was interrupted by Tadase's forceful question.

"What are you doing here?" Tadase asked obviously angry.

She glanced at him before snapping her fingers. "She's the one." Before I could react I was being hoisted over one of her bodyguard's shoulders.

"Ill be kidnapping her now! Bye bye!" she exclaimed before clapping her hands and running.

Tadase was furious at this point and started chasing us to no avail as I was thrown into a limo next to Utau. It all happened so fast that I didn't have any time to react. She snapped her fingers again and the limo sped off making me fall from the seat.

"That was exciting." She laughed crossing her legs.

After climbing back onto the seat my anger exploded like a volcano. "Did you just kidnap me!? What do you think you're doing!?"

She was completely ignoring me. "So, how long have you known my dumb-dumb brother?" she asked calmly.

"Stop ignoring me! Answer my questions!" I screamed.

"What do you want to know?" she asked shrugging.

I was just about to continue yelling when my phone began vibrating. I had completely forgotten about it and immediately dug it out of my pocket and answered.

"Amu!? Amu!? Are you okay!?" Tadase sounded frantic.

Before I could answer Utau had pulled the phone from my hand and stuck her high heel in my face to fend me off.

"I'll bring her back when I'm done. You sit pretty." She teased and hung up.

"You are so crazy!" I screamed wanting to attack her. I'd heard of celebrities being kidnapped by fans, but fans being kidnapped by celebrities?!

"That's so rude! After all I'm doing for you!" she replied.

"What are you doing!? If you would just explain something to me!" I yelled back.

She was about to answer when the car stopped. "Ooooh! Show time!" she yelled. Grabbing my hand she yanked me out of the car, dragging me to a large building full of condominiums.

"Where are you taking me!?" I began to feel panic creep up my spine as she pulled my up flights of stairs.

She suddenly stopped startling me. "Okay, stop fighting me or do you want to be carried up here?"

"I want you to tell me where you're taking me!?" I yelled back.

She groaned and covered my mouth before yanking me in front of a door. "Just shut up for awhile okay? You'll be thanking me in minute."

She was giggling madly as she frantically knocked on the door. When no one answered she beat harder. "Ugh! Answer this door you lazy bum!" she yelled beating harder again.

Suddenly the door swung open. "Why are you knocking? You have a key, besides I was slee…"

She let her hand drop from my mouth still giggling. "Surprise!"

There in front of my face stood…Ikuto.

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><p><em><strong>AN: <strong>I know it's been a very long time and I apologize. I did a lot of editing and proofreading to correct any mistakes or enhance any certain parts. Writers block is so cruel…hopefully this developed smoothly. I hope you all enjoyed nonetheless, and there is your SURPRISE! I've brought your promised guy back~ I bet you thought I was going to leave her with Tadase lol! Anyways, I'll try to update as soon as possible, what with balancing work and school…more excuses…I'm developing a lot of new story ideas I hope to begin soon. Well, Until Next Time!_

_~MewRaven94_


	18. Chapter 17

_**AN: **__Hello my lovelies! So very sorry to have been gone for what may have been a year. I feel horrible about it but greatly appreciate all the continued reviews and favorites, because without them this story may never be finished. You guys continue to motivate me, so thank you! Anyways, I hope you all enjoy after a long hiatus~_

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><p><span>Chapter 17<span>

I couldn't believe my eyes. My mind wouldn't process the image in front of me, as though he wasn't real. It had felt like forever, a complete eternity since we had last made eye contact. A month seemed like a long time, especially when you spent most of it erasing that persons existence.

"…" I could only stand there gaping, mentally kicking myself for something to say. Although what could you say…last time we talked…he was being erased.

He leaned against the door frame looking so calm and stoic, wearing all black house clothes. Was he always this beautiful?

"What's up, princess?" His voice sent shivers down my spine as my body seemed to be enveloped in warmth. His signature smirk played at his lips making my heart began to flutter. It felt like I was waking up for the first time…

"Stop trying to act cool!" Utau erupted. "I thought you'd be all over her by now by the way you talked about her. You spent all this time pouting and moping and now she's here and nothing?!"

_He was worried about me?_ As my face began to turn red I looked away to avoid his eyes. Tears were beginning to burn at the back of my eyes as my mind fought for control over my emotions.

"I'm sorry I can't think straight over your shrill voice." He teased.

"Yea sure, it's definitely my angelic voice that is clouding your mind." She returned with pride.

He sighed and ran his hand through his sexy hair and glanced at me with a look that I couldn't describe. "What's she doing here?" he calmly asked.

"No thank you or anything?" Utau fussed. "It's not like I had a hard time getting her here or anything. Such ungrateful people…"

"Just exactly where did you get her from?" he asked concerned.

"From Tadase of course." She replied with a sly look.

For a second I caught the look of irritation on his face, but he seemed to control his emotions before giving me any concrete evidence. Utau seemed to see through his face and continued to tease him.

"Now you want to thank me? Whatever this is your time so count this as a token of my love for you." She had her arms crossed with a confident look on her face which suddenly turned serious.

"Now enough of this boring drabble! Time to get intimate." She winked before pushing us both in the house.

"Now you two get cozy while I deter my brother. You can thank me later." She added before slamming the door behind us.

I could hear her high heels clicking down the walkway as we both stood side by side in her massive apartment.

It was cozy yet luxurious like Tadase's mansion, but who could expect less from a superstar like her. The house was mostly white and black with an actual white carpet complimented by small specks of red accessories around the apartment.

Ikuto sighed snapping me out of my daze as he strolled over to the black couch stretching. He yawned as he sat down and dazzled me with a sexy smile.

"You just want to stand?" he mumbled.

I shook my head and took my shoes off before strode over to the couch, noticing how his eyes followed me. Sitting as far away from him as possible I cleared my throat and tried to speak.

"So, what's up?" I mumbled nervously.

Why was I so nervous!

He raised an eyebrow and continued to stare at me. "What did she do to you?"

"Oh nothing just kidnapped me." Wincing at my stupid reply I looked away.

We sat in silence for awhile, both at a loss for words. My heart felt like it might burst as I tried to control my emotions, finally failing as the flood gates opened.

"I'm sorry." I began, mumbling sadly. I couldn't even look at him.

"I'm so sorry." I began to cry, gasping when I felt him suddenly wrap his arms around me pulling me to his chest.

"I missed you so much Ikuto! I felt so empty! It hurt so badly and just when I thought I'd never see you again, but here you are." I sobbed into his chest.

He held me tighter stroking my hair. "I missed you too, Amu." he mumbled. Pulling me away he wiped the tears off my face and showed me the smirk I loved so much. My body felt whole again as he pulled me onto his lap as I cuddled into him.

"I'm so happy." he whispered into my hair. "I miss this pink dye in your hair." he teased as I shot up with a glare.

He was laughing as my face turned red. "Psh, you wish your hair was naturally awesome like mine. I've got punk rock conquered." I lashed back.

"To bad you don't look that hardcore." he replied poking my cheek. I smacked his hand away, to which he quickly grabbed and intertwined our fingers. Pulling me down he began to lightly kiss my face as I closed my eyes feeling a rush of euphoria.

"Do you always look this happy?" he mumbled into my neck as he began softly kissing it.

Stroking my fingers through his soft hair I smiled happily. "Only when I'm with someone special to me."

He laughed softly moving back up to my face. "So I'm special?"

"More than anyone else." I whispered wrapping my arms around his neck.

He smiled and cupped my face in his hand, rubbing his thumb over my lip before kissing the side of my mouth. I wanted to be consumed by him at this moment as I let go of all my previous nervous fears. I never wanted to loose this feeling again. As he moved to kiss my lips the door suddenly flew open.

"We have a breach in security! Abort!" Utau shouted trying to barricade the door with her slender body to no avail.

"Shut up and move you diva!" Tadase shouted.

_Tadase! _

I immediately leaped from Ikuto's lap as he pushed his way past Utau into the room. "Amu!" he shouted worriedly.

"I'm okay." I strode over to him trying to calm his frantic mind. He smiled at me with a heavy sigh.

"I thought she had taken you to some party or something worse." he panted. I felt a pang of hurt as I though of what he may have went through trying to get to me.

"I'm sorry I worried you." I smiled sweetly. He seemed content until he saw Ikuto.

"Yo." He nonchalantly greeted.

"So this is who she brought you to." He mumbled looking hurt.

"Yes I did! And you should-"

"Shut up Utau." Ikuto sternly interrupted.

She looked hurt but complied with a huff. The air suddenly got thinner as they both glared at each other. I felt the room get tighter as I glanced from one face to another waiting for the impending explosion. Last time they saw each other a fight almost broke out.

"Come on Amu. No need to be tortured by him any longer." Tadase began gently grabbing my hand to drag me off. Suddenly Ikuto yanked me from his grasp and pulled me into his arms.

"I'm pretty sure we were enjoying ourselves until you showed up, right Amu?" he teased lifting my chin to look at him.

What was he doing?

"Stop keeping her here! She doesn't need to be pestered by a lowlife thief!" Tadase yelled back.

"She's a big girl. She can decide who ever she wants to be with." Ikuto responded.

"Yea well her mother definitely doesn't want you around her."

Ikuto laughed and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You're still such a kid. She needs someone older in her life that doesn't listen to every lie mommy tells them."

"Ikuto." I whined. "What? You didn't know that he still does everything his mom says?" he laughed.

"What's wrong with that?!" Tadase shouted back looking hurt.

"Well usually nothing unless you have a lying bitch of a mother. You do everything she tells you regardless of how you may feel about it. You're just like a little puppy." He continued.

Tadase's expression began to look more pained as I looked to Utau for some salvation. She rolled her eyes and walked between us to intervene. "Okay stop you guys. Everybody just calm down. I'm sorry I kidnapped Amu without permission. There, happy that it was my fault?"

"Whatever Utau. Let's just go Amu." Tadase pleaded looking tired.

I couldn't move. I stood there with Ikuto wrapped around me as I stared at Tadase with a hurt expression. I felt torn. I just didn't want to hurt him…

"I guess that's a no." Ikuto teased.

I broke from his grip and turned to face him with a pained look. "I'm going to go with him. It'll be a lot easier." I didn't want to look at him, but I forced myself to.

He smirked and ran his hand through his hair shrugging. "Fine. If that's what you want."

This time I could see the hurt in his eyes as my heart began to drop. Why did it have to be this hard…?

At looked at a grateful Tadase who began to walk towards the door suddenly being pulled back by Ikuto. Pulling my face into a hard kiss I heard Utau gasp before pushing him away.

"What are you doing!?" I yelled feeling flustered.

"What we were just doing on the couch before your boyfriend burst in."

"He's not…" I couldn't continue. I glanced into Tadase's hurt eyes before he stormed out of Utau's apartment.

I felt my anger explode as I turned back to Ikuto with tears blurring my vision.

_**SLAP **_

I immediately cracked my hand across his face. "You're such a…"

He smirked and turned his back to me with his hands in his pockets. "Go away Amu. Decide what you really want."

I felt my heart drop as he strode away from me into one of the back rooms. My throat got tighter as hot tears streamed down my face.

_What did I just do!_

"Utau…please take me home." I begged refusing to meet her gaze.

Everything seemed to freeze as my heart dropped. I'd never felt this horrible before in my life…all I wanted to do at the moment was die in a deep dark hole.

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><p><em><strong>AN: <strong>__There you go! Sorry for the sad ending, but I'll make it up to you I promise. I hope you enjoyed the little bit of intimacy they got. It's my last year of high school so be a little patient with me guys. I'm sorry for the long wait but I will return next week. You can count on it. Look out for new stories soon, with an interesting twist on this story soon to come. Until Next Time!_

_~MewRaven94_


	19. Chapter 18

_**AN:**__ It's been a long time and I've missed this story and writing in general. I haven't had the time to write in so long but I haven't forgotten and have continued warming the fire in my heart for this story. School is over and I have finally graduated after such a tough year, and boy have I had a tough year. A lot has happened, but now starts a new life ahead of me. Nonetheless thank you for the reviews. I hope you all enjoy~_

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><p>Chapter 18<p>

Hot tears streaked down my cheek as I replayed the image in my head over and over again with no hopes of stopping.

_Go away Amu…Go away Amu…__**Go away.**_

I glanced at my hand…the hand that I used to slap him. My whole body was trembling as I tried to analyze my thoughts. What is wrong with me?! How could I do that!? My heart no only ached for Ikuto…but for Tadase too…

I felt so conflicted, as though the walls I had built were beginning to close in around me. I was trapped in my own thoughts and conflictions with no one to turn to…in an effort to make friends and finally accept the world around me…I had emotionally doomed myself.

_**Decide what you really want.**_

He was right…what did I want? Who is it that I really love? I couldn't go back to feeling numb. All that could be done at the moment was break down in front of Utau, humiliating myself in front of someone I barely knew.

I buried my face in my still trembling hands as my entire body shook with hard sobs. This helpless feeling was too much and I really had no one to blame but myself. I had caused all of this. If only I had never opened myself…if only my father had never died…if only I had never met…

"…Amu." Utau mumbled. I ignored her as my body continued to rattle with desperate ugly sobs.

"Amu. Amu! Damn it, AMU!" she finally screamed jolting me from my tears. She sat opposite me with her arms and legs crossed with a pissed off expression.

"Stop crying already! All you're doing is pitying yourself! It's pathetic!" she yelled.

My anger flared. "How can you say that!? You don't know what I've been through! You know nothing about me!"

"Shut up! I do know you Amu! I was you once!"

"…what?" I sniffled.

"I know what you feel. I remember you from when Tadase was younger. I remember hearing about your dad. I know what happened."

I wasn't really shocked. Many people knew what happened to my father. He was adored by so many, it was almost impossible that the town didn't know. But for her to remember about me? Why would she bother?

"I can guess that your mom remarried and you kind of just never dealt with it all. I know why you're upset. I get it!"

I felt so small listening to her.

"When I was little I our family was really…dysfunctional. You see, me and Ikuto are brother and sister. I know he told you that his parents died…well we have the same mom. My mom had him by the famous violinist Aruto Tsukiyomi. Our family didn't accept him or Ikuto since she was already promised to another wealthier man, my father Kazuomi Hoshina. So their relationship was forbidden…anyway she married my father and had me and Tadase. Aruto disappeared only showing up secretly to spend time with Ikuto and our mother. One day they couldn't stand being apart any longer…well our mother took all the jewelry and fancy things given to her by my father and sold them."

I was beginning to remember what both Tadase and Ikuto had told me about their family. Was this all actually the truth? As though she could read my skepticism she rolled her eyes, sighing, and continued.

"When my father found out he tried to have them arrested, claiming our mother stole all that from him. They had to leave Ikuto due to the scandal of it all and tried to run away…and that's when died."

I gasped as a lump formed in my throat.

"They were driving in the rain and got in to a major car wreck…" I could tell that it was hard for her to continue. Her voice started to sound smaller, but she continued.

"Ahem…anyway Tadase was too little to remember anything. My father remarried our mother's sister and she raised Tadase as her own filling his head with lies about his actual mother. I didn't believe any of it." She looked dazed as she stared out the window at the gloomy sky.

"They told us that our mother was a thief who didn't care about us. They shunned Ikuto for being related to Aruto and treated him awfully. He moved out when he was 15. I don't know how he did it…but I couldn't be without him. He was the only thing that felt like family to me anymore. My parents didn't accept my ambitions of being a singer, but Ikuto always encouraged me. So they tried to give me an ultimatum one day and I left them to live with Ikuto. It got more complicated but basically that's how we got to where we are today. Too bad my brother is still a little perfect puppet for his "mother". He doesn't accept our real mother, but I remember her and won't believe in the heartless monster they make her out to be. She died for love. What can be more pure than that?" When she finished talking she looked at me with a solemn smile on her face and waited for me to respond.

"Why?" Was all I could mutter.

"Why did I tell you all that?"

I nodded at her response. How could she read me so well?

"Because you need to know how to be strong. When I found out the truth it devastated me, especially since our family had became so dysfunctional. After Ikuto left I felt so alone. And you know what he did? He pushed me away too." She laughed.

"How can you laugh about it?!" I yelled.

"Because it made me stronger! I was tired of crying! I wanted him to save me and he thought by pushing me away he would. So I had to stand up on my own to get what I wanted. I had to grow up!" She yelled pointing at me.

"Now stop feeling sorry for yourself Amu! Stand up for yourself and let your voice be heard. I don't mean throw little temper tantrums! I mean be a woman and show your strength! You're feisty, I can see it." She smiled with a wink as she finished.

"Stop running from everything and hiding. Its time for you to face it all and decide what **you** want. What do you want, Amu?"

_**Decide what you really want. **_

I glanced out the window feeling the weight on my shoulders. "I don't know…"

"Well time to figure it out! Face your parents, face my brother, and face Ikuto! Don't let him push you away! He loves you Amu!"

My heart almost exploded when she shouted those words at me. I could feel my brain working in overdrive repeating the phrase and soaking it in. I smiled and craved to be with him more than I ever have.

"Why did you tell me all this? Why try to help me?" I asked smiling.

She rolled her eyes and huffed as we finally pulled up in front of my house. "Because I know my brother and I've never seen him this happy over someone. Believe it or not he needs you just as much. More maybe, since he really is lonely. Other than me he has no family really…I just want him to be happy and you give him a purpose."

I couldn't believe it. My mouth forgot how to form words as she sat there smirking, waiting for me to reply. Finally giving up she had her chauffer open the door for me.

"Get out of my limo Amu. Next time I see you, it better be without the diaper." She teased winking. "See ya baby."

I waved reluctantly as I watched her drive away. There was so much to take in and the only place I could actually come to terms with it all was in my room…my own seclusion. I turned hesitantly towards my front door and sighed with relief as I saw the empty driveway. For once I was happy that they weren't home.

I ran to my room in a daze barely taking in my surrounds. Running on sheer force and memory to make it to my bed where I finally collapsed with exhaustion. This day had made me so tired…then again I did cry about a years worth of tears. So much was running through my mind, I didn't even know where to begin.

All that Utau told me was so eye opening…it was time to grow up. I ultimately decided to address it all tomorrow when my mind wasn't so hazy with sleep. I'd make my resolve then.

_**Decide what your really want. **_

I smiled as I played those last words through my head before falling into a deep, dreamless, slumber.

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><p>I woke up the next morning feeling for once, normal. Preparing for school was its usual morning routine without any depressing afterthought of my day ahead. For once I felt enthused about the day and wanted to take it by the horns. It would be hasty to say that I felt happy, but my heart definitely felt more confident.<p>

My usual routine went by quickly and I even managed to put on make up, something usually skipped as of late. Finally done, I actually bounced down the stairs right into Ami's gloating gaze.

"I feel bad for Tadase having to babysit you all the time. You are such a stick in the mud. What could he actually find fun about you?" She began her berating with crossed arms from the kitchen.

I actually laughed at her insult and began to unleash a storm back at her but oddly, I shrugged it off with a laugh. "Hmph, laugh all you want. I'm sure he only hangs out with you because you act like such an emo freak." With that she stormed off down the hallway to her room.

For once her insult didn't bother me or ignite my anger. I smirked at what felt like a newfound power as I remembered the grueling contents of last night. Utau was right…it was time to decide what I wanted. To finally grow up and face my problems like an adult without letting my childish emotions get in the way. It seemed so hard thinking about it…but I knew it had to be done.

First thing was first…Tadase. I couldn't face him just yet…not this early. It would have to be later on my terms, when I wasn't forced into his company. Which meant…walking to school.

I pulled out my cell phone and sent a quick text to Yaya, fabricating a lie as to why I wouldn't be joining them this morning and would see them at school. As easy as that was, walking to school alone felt foreign to me. Honestly, I did miss their companionship this morning. It felt weird not dealing with the hyperactive Kukai or the diva Rima. They had truly become my friends, but Tadase was the most important at the moment.

I got to school early and dodged all of our fanbase as I made my way to class alone. Pulling out a book and pretending to study, I formulated just how to handle the issue of yesterday. I knew what had to be done. I was done lying to myself and I knew what I wanted. Whether it destroyed me or not, that would be my decision and fate.

The bell made me jump as class finally started and I looked over to see Tadase staring at me reluctantly with sad eyes. I smiled happily and waved as my heart began to race. What if I couldn't do this? What if I couldn't make the first move? Fear began to mix in with my confidence as I waited impatiently for the school day to be over.

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><p>"So how was your dinner last night with Tadase? He wouldn't tell us all the details, but he seemed kind of quiet about it. Did something juicy happen?" Yaya gushed jumping up and down as her long pigtails bounced with her.<p>

"It was great." I lied. I hated lying to Yaya…she was the easiest to talk to about anything and I found it so easy to confide in her. So why not now?

As though she could see the truth she smirked and roller her eyes with a chuckle. "That's great. Tell me all about it later, okay?" She chirped with a wink before poking my cheek and running off. As my eyes followed her they landed on my desired target, Tadase. He was waiting by the school gate, for me I assumed.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and confidently sauntered over with the best smile possible. He looked up at me with a solemn smile and cleared his throat.

"Amu, don't please don't avoid what happened last night. You shouldn't have seen that…between me and Ikuto. And Utau!" He stopped himself and regained control of his anger before continuing. "She shouldn't have instigated that. Ikuto isn't a good guy and I don't know what is going on between you two but I want you to be safe Amu."

I listened sadly knowing where this was headed. "I want to protect you Amu! I want to be able to save you when you are sad!"

"You already have Tadase." I mumbled reassuringly.

"No! More than just as your friend! Amu…"

_**Here it comes…**_

His voice was almost a whisper over the sound of my pounding heart. "Amu, I love you! I've always loved you! You've always been the most beautiful thing in the world to me! And…and even if you were sad or didn't want to talk to us, all I wanted to do was make you smile! Seeing you happy was like watching the sun rise. I know it sounds cheesy…but I don't know any other way to put it. Other than I want to always be there to protect you if you'll let me."

I smiled through the overflowing tears and tried to find my voice to speak. His words were so heartfelt and genuine…I had never had anyone speak to me this way and it made me feel warm. A kind of feeling that you could fall in love with.

"Tadase." I whimpered. "I- I'm sor-"

"No!" He begged cutting me off. "Don't be sorry! I meant every bit of it Amu! I won't accept that."

Before I knew it I was being pulled into a deep kiss. His lips mashed hard against mine as my trembling hands lightly trailed his arms accepting the kiss sadly. I melted into the warmth and for a moment accepted his love.

_**Decide what you really want…**_

But…he wasn't what I was thinking of. All I could think of at the moment was Ikuto and the way his lips felt against mine and how deeply my heart yearned for them…

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><p><em><strong>AN:<strong>__ Did I leave you with a cliffhanger!? I love writing those! I seriously missed writing this story. I know I always promise to update weekly and never come through so I won't promise, but can tell you that I have already started the next chapter and am more than half way through with it. I hope this was long enough for you all. I felt a little rusty writing it, but hopefully the inspiration of music could help my creativity flow. Until Next Time!~_

_~MewRaven94_


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